If you have not had the chance to read the Infertility Chronicles: “Shirt Packed and Big Girl Panties On,” “To Be Continued…” or “Trading In My Big Girl Panties,” then I suggest you head on over there first before continuing to the conclusion of this saga below. If not, you might be as lost as an Easter Egg on Christmas morning.
Snorkel and fins–check.
Big girl panties? Washed, dried, and tucked away in my dresser drawer.
Last week I traded in my big girl panties for all the essentials needed for a cannonball into the deep waters. This morning I stood trembling on the water’s edge wearing my snorkel, fins, nose plugs, and arm floaties. I was afraid, but I knew that I had to do it afraid. So without hesitation, I closed my eyes and screamed “CANNONBALL” as I jumped into the deep end where God was calling me.
As I started treading water, I thought about the past three weeks and how I’ve felt like I was in the game of “Clue,” going from room to room, seeking an unsuspecting “mystery woman” so that I could ask her to pray for me. I played this game because of an encounter I had with a stranger outside of Wal-Mart named “Bob.”
For three weeks, I have been carrying around extra t-shirts, hiking up my big girl panties so high I could tuck them into my bra, and now looking ridiculous as I doggy paddled in the deep end wearing a nose plug and floaties.
For three weeks, I have said “oh crap” each time I have thought about her, and the fear of looking absolutely absurd or worse, making her feel incredibly uncomfortable, has caused me to sweat and change my shirt.
It has been three weeks of playing this game of “Clue,” and honestly, I have been tired of it. There have been moments in my thinking in which I thought it didn’t matter if I found her or not, but my trust and reverence for God kept outweighing my personal wants to give up and my feelings of fear to run away and hide.
It has been three weeks, but this week, while treading in the deep end, the game of “Clue” is officially over. The game ended when a friend of mine arranged for her to meet me by the nursery after the first service. I was afraid. She was afraid. But while afraid, we did it anyway.
It turns out I know her. No, I don’t “know her, know her,” but I know of her. I have seen her a thousand times at church, but our encounters have never gone beyond just saying “Hi” while in passing.
But today, she is no longer a “mystery woman” but rather my new friend. Even though this was out of her comfort zone, she tapped into God’s strength and boldness to share with me her story of going from barrenness to fruitfulness, and it’s simply amazing. Doctors told her that due to a family history of fertility problems and a past plagued with cancer that involved chemotherapy, she would not be able to have her own biological children.
Her dreams were shattered, and each time she saw another pregnant woman, her heart would break all over again. There even came a time in her infertility journey in which she gave up and surrendered to living a childless life, a choice every infertile woman fears having to make. But with tears in her eyes this morning, she gave God all the glory as she told me that while she was faithless, God was still faithful. She not only supernaturally conceived once but twice.
I am thankful to “Bob” for waiting outside of Walmart. I am thankful to all of the people who have helped me play this game of “Clue” for me to find this “mystery woman.” I am thankful to this woman for not saying “no” despite feeling nervous but instead pushing through her own fears and praying for me. I am thankful to God for also giving me the courage to look ridiculously silly as I did a cannonball into the deep end. I know that without God giving me the courage, this “mystery woman” would still be a “mystery” and not my new friend.
I have learned that there will be times when God will ask you to do something that will cause fear or dread. But instead of standing on the water’s edge, scared to go into the deep end, ask God for the strength and courage, and while you are still afraid, do it anyway. I promise that He will provide you with all the essentials needed… a snorkel, fins, nose plug, and arm floaties. All you have to do is close your eyes and jump in, screaming, “CANNONBALL!”
I want to add that I have not had a cycle since the beginning of April…which makes this cycle 70+ days (thank you, PCOS). This afternoon, after pressing “publish” on this post, I officially started a new cycle and am on calendar day 1. That’s not a coincidence; that’s Jesus.
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58 thoughts on “Infertility Chronicles Part 4: Cannonball!”
Yes!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE this and I LOVE her testimony of what God does in the supernatural! I’m trusting that we will be writing similar ones soon! Thanks for sharing her and glad that mystery woman is no longer a mystery, but now a friend 🙂
yes and amen!! xo
I’m totally crying over here. Praise the Lord that you found her, that you’ve got a new friend and have started a new cycle. You are so right, none of this is coincidence. Its all God! So excited for one day when you tell someone of how God has blessed you with children against all odds. Because He will. HUGS
i wonder if she had prayed for me three weeks ago if my cycle would have started sooner :/ ehhh…can’t live in the past or maintain any regrets. Just move forward 🙂
Amazing!!!! So happy you jumped and made a huge splash with your cannonball! 😉
Did you make a huge splash when you got baptized yesterday? Once again, congrats on getting baptized! 🙂
Baptism is the 22nd, I will definitely let you know how it goes. So excited!
oh i thought it was yesterday :/ I’m sorry for getting it mixed up
Oh gosh no problem! We had our info meeting about it this weekend, right now they have 240 people getting baptized. And I cry every time they show the video from last year… I’m so excited!
That’s awesome!! What a beautiful testimony she shared with you. So glad it went well. 🙂
Thank you! Her story and seeing her children run around sparked hope inside of me.
I know right?! She had a great story!
This is so amazing! I know one day you’ll be that woman telling someone the beautiful story of how your faith overcame obstacles and got you your babies! Lots of love and hugs
That’s what I am hoping and believing 🙂
I’m totally crying over here too! I’m so happy you found her and that AF finally arrived! Thank you God! This is all His doing for sure!
yes and amen!! I’m so thankful AF has showed after 70 plus days. I quit keeping track but I knew that it was the first or second day of April….so it had been a long time. In fact, it was my longest cycle ever! I think I broke records.
Totally NOT coincidence!
Wow this is amazing! Did she know that you were going to look for her? Good job for being obedient.
A person who knew who she was had called her last week and asked her to meet after church and pray for me. She was so nervous and also tried making excuses with herself to not go to church this morning. I was so out of her comfort zone too :/ she is so brave.
Awesome! Yay for CD 1!
This is so great! So glad you have a new friend! You both are brave!! I am so happy this is also your CD1!
Finally! So proud of you! I love this post and I can’t wait for what the future hold for you 😊
Yay!!! I’m so glad you jumped in!
I expect a post in about 28-35 days that says “I fought PCOS and won” or something along the lines of getting your 2 pink lines. (Assuming you plan on telling that early!!)
lol! I have no clue how I am going to announce it on my blog. I will probably be lame and not even post a picture but just the words, “positive”. LOL!
Nothing worng with that! Whenever it happens for us, we will wait the 3 months per the hubs’ requests.
Love this! I was celebrating my two year anniversary with my husband today and suddenly thought of you because it’s Sunday. So glad you went through with it!
meeee toooo! I was scared and nervous but I think she was far more scared and nervous than I was :/
How amazing and yay for a new cycle!! 🙂 so glad that you found her.
meeee toooooooo! Thanks girl! xo
This is pretty damn awesome 🙂 XOXO
i know right?!
Maybe everything is aligning just perfectly! Xx
So excited to read this! I will keep you in my prayers.
Well done! 🙂 Really happy for you, and how wonderful for her too. God is good.
How awesome is Gods timing! This is a fab post and I am rejoicing with you as God works his purpose out for your life and Josiah’s. thanks for letting us witness your journey to manifestation ! X
Thank you so much for reading Beth and giving me such words of support and encouragement 🙂 xoxo! They mean so much to me!
Yippee! I’m so happy you two were finally able to connect and better yet you gained a new friend. God is awesome!
This is just amazing!! So glad you found her because this clearly is God directing you in your life!!
I am so happy to hear that you finally found her!
YEY!!! To all of this… I was thinking of you yesterday and am thrilled your cannonball impressed!! 😉 Much Love xxx
made a huge splash and every one saw the ripples…no lie…I had about five people ask me before the service started if I had found her yet and then when we came out of the room where we prayed…another six were just standing there staring. Of course they were all pretending to be doing something but it was obvious. lol!
Elisha have you read Plan B by Pete Wilson? I just finished it and it was SUCH a blessing to me. It reinforces a lot of what you blog about when it comes to faith 🙂
I am going to have to get this book 🙂 Thank you for the suggestion.
Ahhh! You found her! And God is good! It’s going to be soon, friend. I’m praying for you! (On a side note, after losing our child I didn’t have a cycle from September until February. My doctor wanted to put me on medication and I felt impressed to pray and not be treated. So, I looked my doctor in the face and told him that I wanted to fast and pray. I started fasting and praying and a week later my cycle started! I called my doctor back to tell him that God took care of things. He probably thinks I am crazy, but I don’t care!)
wow! That is such an amazing testimony!!! Thank you for sharing! I have been feeling called to fast lately so I might just do this.
Elisha, thank you again for all of your encouragement (and humor!) this past week. I am glad she was able to pray for you, and I am glad you have a fresh start this week!! Blessings…
Thank you so much Alana!!
Amazing!! So glad you found her and that she was great to talk too! xx
Thank you! She was so nervous!
Hi, I like you have pcos, among other health issues, and have been reading your blog for a while. But I saw something that made me think ,I should write you. I had , had doctors every doc till the last one, tell me missing my cycle was fine, enjoy not having it, that was till i was 32. A new doc, said wait a minute , lets check this out, so one test later and she had me in her office within 15 minutes of her getting the results. I had early uterine cancer, and I needed treatment now! Thankfully it had been caught so soon, as it was very aggressive. Not one doc before had ever said anything, so I tell you this , that while you are on this journey, please make sure that your docs, keep an eye on this, its a silent cancer, I had no clue I was sick. Have you taken any meds to induce ovulation ? Have they worked ? After you are done having babies, please get onto meds to protect you. Either meds like birth control, or meds that shut down your system, which is now what i have been on for years. The meds that I am on stop you from cycling, so you do not end up with a linning in your uterus, that stays in there way to long it is not healthy for this linning to be there longer than a month, unless you are pregnant. Please let others you may know , with pcos , about this risk…also have you started taking metformin, it is the one thing that has helped with the weight control issue and could greatly improve your chances of getting pregnant. I hope this all makes sense, sending hugs and prayers, Lisa
I used to see a fertility doctor and even took metformin for a bit but I never had peace about it and so I have stopped. When I keep a low sugar/low carb diet my cycles are much better but I don’t have much will power when it comes to cheeseburgers, fries, and pizza :/ Thank you so much for sharing your story with me and I’m so honored you have been reading and following my blog! xo
I had to go back quite a ways to find your post, but I’m so glad I did. You showed true strength and faith through this process. Since you just started a new cycle what will you be doing this month?
Same thing I always do :). Just pray and keep repeating scripture in faith. I call it taking my prescriptures and gospills. Lol!
I love it. I love every bit of it. I love how “Bob” found you. I love how it took you 3 weeks to find the courage. I love how your friends were helping you make this meeting occur. I love how, in the end, He was faithful once again. I love it.
It was quite the exciting three weeks! The greatest part was I finally ended a 70 plus day cycle afterwards.
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