“No Heartbeat" I can remember the giddy smiles on our faces as we were preparing for our ultrasound appointment. “What are we going to name it if baby Lawler is a girl? How are we going to decorate the room? I think it is a girl from the way I have been feeling, but the… Continue reading “No Heartbeat”: A Story of Loss from a Husband’s Perspective
You would think after five years of nightly dinner time prayers and bedtime pleadings for a sibling that she would stop making her requests. I know there are days I can’t even mutter the words—at least not with the same fiery faith that her prayers contain. However, despite the years that have gone by with… Continue reading She Wants to Be a Big Sister–So She Prays
While living in Florida during my younger and much cuter years, I met my future husband in the fifth grade and immediately thought he was dorky. He waved his hands to classical music after lunch, wore turtlenecks almost every day, and kept his hair swooped to the side. However, by the sixth grade, cupid hit… Continue reading Cheap Dress, Cheap Rings, and the Mispronunciation of My Name
Vulnerable Post Alert: Grief hits you at weird moments, doesn't it? For me, it happened this morning as I stood facing my bathroom mirror. I was mindlessly putting on my makeup and getting ready for the day when the thoughts of what I imagined my life would look like recklessly hit me like a Mack… Continue reading Grieving the Life You Planned
May 17th, 2012. That was the day a nurse confirmed I was pregnant. And it was also the day I announced to my husband that he was going to be a daddy. I remember giggling over dinner as we discussed due dates, names, and nursery ideas… It seems like it's been forever since that day… Continue reading When You Are Still Pregnant Eight Years Later
