Josiah Day, Waiting for Baby Bird

God Made Me a Promise. But Perhaps I Got It Wrong.

Today, on Josiah Day, I sat outside his room. Am I pregnant? No. Am I pregnant with hope? Some days I am. Some days it’s a struggle. Today, it's a struggle. (Whew. Deep breath.) It’s been over 8 years since I heard in my spirit that I would have a son and to name him… Continue reading God Made Me a Promise. But Perhaps I Got It Wrong.

Testimonies, Waiting for Baby Bird

“No Heartbeat”: A Story of Loss from a Husband’s Perspective

“No Heartbeat" I can remember the giddy smiles on our faces as we were preparing for our ultrasound appointment. “What are we going to name it if baby Lawler is a girl? How are we going to decorate the room? I think it is a girl from the way I have been feeling, but the… Continue reading “No Heartbeat”: A Story of Loss from a Husband’s Perspective

Waiting for Baby Bird

Grieving the Life You Planned

Vulnerable Post Alert:  Grief hits you at weird moments, doesn't it? For me, it happened this morning as I stood facing my bathroom mirror. I was mindlessly putting on my makeup and getting ready for the day when the thoughts of what I imagined my life would look like recklessly hit me like a Mack… Continue reading Grieving the Life You Planned

Waiting for Baby Bird

When You Are Still Pregnant Eight Years Later

May 17th, 2012. That was the day a nurse confirmed I was pregnant. And it was also the day I announced to my husband that he was going to be a daddy. I remember giggling over dinner as we discussed due dates, names, and nursery ideas… It seems like it's been forever since that day… Continue reading When You Are Still Pregnant Eight Years Later