The Day I Shared My Infertility Story

It was 1989 and there I was, standing in my new kindergarten class scared and shaking like a leaf. I was as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I will never forget that day when I stood there wishing I had my mom, my favorite stuffed animal, and the comforts of home. So many thoughts were going through my head…

What will the other kids think of me?

Will they want to play with me?

Will that girl with the pretty bow in her hair let me play with the baby doll she was holding?

I sure hope the teacher is as nice as she looks.

I had so many thoughts that day and I have learned that since that frightening moment when everything and everyone was so uncertain, those same thoughts never seem to go away no matter how much older we get.

For example, it was last April when I took a deep breath, exhaled, and pressed the “publish” button.  Within seconds of pressing “publish”, a blog was started, an infertility support group was scheduled to begin (despite not having any attendees at the time), and our story of heartbreak, loss, and hope was shared with my family, friends, and Facebook.

But also within those seconds, I felt as though I had been transported back into 1989 where I was standing before my Kindergarten class with the same insecure thoughts.

What will my friends think of me?

How will they respond?

Will anyone come to my support group?

How many will judge me? Offer their unwanted advice? Or shame me?

At the time, I would have never dreamed that our story would have been read and shared with thousands upon thousands of people around the world. Or that it would become a popular safe haven for those struggling with infertility. A place where they can find hope. Strength. Validity. Love. And acceptance. But more importantly, I never knew how simply sharing my story to perfect strangers could in return give me everything I also needed.

You see, since that afternoon in April when I shared my wounds and showed my scars, there has been a woman whom I have never met supporting me from hundreds of miles away. She isn’t struggling with infertility, nor has she ever, nevertheless, she has held me up for the past several months as I travel on this bumpy journey with all of its twists and sharp turns. I haven’t heard from her in a while, but today I received a message from in which she said this…

At 2:30 this morning I almost sent you a message.  I woke from my sleep and as I opened my eyes you were in my thought.  I remember seeing your name as though it were written on my wall and I hear the words: “blessings” and “favor in the sight of the Lord.”  I wanted to share that with you, now that it is daylight. lol.  Praying for whatever the Lord is laying on my heart for you.

Why am I bothering to tell you all of this? It’s because everyone has a story to tell. And I want to encourage you to not let the “a room full of rocking chairs” cause you to be afraid. Be willing to open yourself up to vulnerability and let others know what you are facing, as well as the difficulties you are going through. Because it is when you do, you not only allow help others who are hurting, but you also allow others to help you, to hold you, and support you.

Sweet sister, don’t allow the enemy to convince you it’s okay to stay in isolation or go through this alone. He wants you to suffer in silence. Because the person you open up to, could also be the person God is wanting to use in order to speak to hope into our hopeless heart. Strength into your weary bones. And His plans into your uncertain situation.

If I had never shared my story  and allowed myself to be vulnerable, this woman would not have had the opportunity to speak God’s words, words that I desperately needed into my desperate situation, on that day. There is no doubt I was blessed by God through her. But I also believe that she was blessed on that very day to be used by God.

You never know whose life you could touch. Or how much encouragement you could receive. Or how much more glory God could get if others knew not just the “ending,”  but the whole story. So be bold and courageous!  Don’t remain silent. Put your writings on the wall. And maybe He will write His writings on a wall for you just like He graciously did for me.

*UPDATE: On the day this woman shared her prophetic message with me, our “Safe Families for Children” princess had been living with us for 10 days and she was scheduled to only stay another 10…maybe 20. But as it turns out, she needed a forever home. Our home. God most certainly poured out His blessings and favor on us when her tiny toddler feet stepped foot into our home, and later made a place in our hearts. I do not doubt for one second that God’s blessings and favor on my life are over. He always exceeds. And I can’t wait to see what else He has in store.

To read more about our foster princess and her adoption, click on the following the links:

1,273 Days in Foster Care and Now This…

Imagining Life Without Our Foster Princess

It’s “Gotcha Day” {A Letter to My Foster Princess}

Why I Pray Our Foster Daughter Returns Home

Foster Parenting: How It Changed My Struggle with Infertility

Since Becoming a Foster Mommy {A Letter to My Husband}

Just Write It From the Heart

Waiting in the Courthouse

I Always Thought I Knew What a Good Mommy Was

Foster Parenting is Not Always Tea Parties and Coloring

She Is My Little Piece of Jesus

So Do You Get To Keep Her?

The Unknown

Does She Stay or Go Home?

She’s Not Mine

Daddy Dan This and Daddy Dan That

The Night She Tore Down My Wall

The Goldilock’s Conversation

I Got You!


I would love to get connected with you on a more personal level, so if you liked this post, pass it on. Then click here to find Waiting for Baby Bird on Facebook, or come follow me on Instagram @waitingforbabybird. I can’t wait to “meet” you!

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39 thoughts on “The Day I Shared My Infertility Story

  1. Wow!! Thank you Lord for this prophetic word! Elisha, this is amazing! I love how the Lord spoke through her to encourage you!! Thank you Jesus for your blue sock moments 🙂

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    • i know right?! As soon as i read it my first thought was you and a “blue sock” moment 🙂 I loved it!!! I love how he uses people that are not in my every day life and really have no idea what is happening that day or even week. It’s perfect!

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  2. Awesome! After sharing my story, I had a student I worked with while in grad school send me a message on Facebook. She said that God had laid it on her heart to pray for me the past few months and she did so without knowing why. Praise God for those who can obey without asking questions and pray even when it doesn’t make sense!

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  3. What a wonderful story! So thankful for your words…I have been fighting the enemy in what feels like hand-to-hand, toe-to-toe combat! Feeling like I need to just throw in the towel and stop ministering and opening up and continuing to onward pursue! He has been trying to convince me that if I would just stop obeying God and stop writing the devotionals God lays upon my heart, he will back off, because he will no longer see me as a threat. I have especially felt this, since we came forward and very transparently told our tesimony concerning infertility. I have questioned over and over whether I should have done that and have really felt “beaten up” over doing that. As I read your post, I found encouragement…especially in the last paragraph. Is there really any way to measure the cost of our disobedience…if we stop doing what God is asking…if we stop telling our story….if we stop sharing our testimony, is there any way to really know who we have failed to encourage? Your words were edifying…and very timely. Thank you, Elisha!

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    • I am so glad!! Your story has helped me soo much! You are just one person that can change the Kingdom of God. Look at Adam in the Old Testament , his single act of sin and disobedience brought condemnation to mankind. But Christ came and His one act of righteousness gave everyone who believes in Him new life and a right relationship with God. It’s phenomenal the blessings (or curses) one person can bring. You can either help build the kingdom of God or do nothing. You are doing something. You are choosing to be a blessing and you will be rewarded!! Thank you for always being willing to share your testimony and devotionals! I think you are awesome!!! Stand strong and keep persevering.

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  4. I love this post. I love it. It’s so true that you just never know how will be touched by your story. I just wrote a post tonight about my husband and I’s love story- the start really and was debating sharing it or not… I guess I should share it 🙂

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  5. Ohh my goodness I love this so much!! What a wonderful reminder to open ourselves up and in doing so we can help others. I love that message you received! So glad to have found you on my journey! I feel so lucky to have you are a part of my support system:)

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    • I thought so too! I have had so much encouragement from people at church and my friends since opening up and sharing my blog posts with anyone and everyone. Being so open has really given me a sense of freedom. I am so glad to have become a part of your life too! You are in my prayers and I think I will be just as impatient as you in the next two weeks 🙂 hehe

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  6. Thank you for this encouragement. I have a hard story to tell – it really doesn’t show me in a good light at all! But it does bring glory to our Father. I’ve got to keep on telling it! 🙂

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  7. I just wanted to say your blog is amazing! I am at the beginning stages of the infertility journey with my husband and decided to blog to get my feelings out in the open. I am so thankful I came across your page. So much inspiration and love all in one place!

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  8. I have been discreetly following your story for some time, and just wanted to say that this post really spoke to me. I have also been really struggling with letting others know of our journey and feel that not only will we receive more support but we may also be able to help others. And I really feel that God is able to use you to speak to others…what you have quoted and stressed has touched me, especially since my own faith has had a very convoluted and bumpy road. With so much more growth as I acquire the years under my belt. Thank you so much for these messages!!

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    • oh wow! I’m so glad it has helped and encouraged you. Tell your story girl!! 🙂 There are so many people that can help you, encourage you, and in return ,you can encourage others. I will say that the second I started spilling my guts so to speak, i found freedom. Thanks so much for following my blog 🙂

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  9. This is a God moment that I stumbled across your blog from connections from another blog to another blog to yours! I am just starting to get my confidence to tell people about not just what I’m going through, but how I’m going through it. I started a blog a few weeks ago about my journey and as of now have been publishing blogs but not telling anyone I know about them 🙂 I think I’m about ready to share the link with people in my world. Also, this is the first time ever I’ve commented on a blog anywhere–baby steps to sharing my story!

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    • oh yay! Yes a God moment for sure! I remember being so scared at first and there are times when still get scared to publish blog posts that are personal, but I know they will touch someone else so i go ahead and do it anyway. There is such a sense of freedom when I do. I’m so glad you found my blog!!

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  10. Just another wonderful example of how the Lord FOR GOOD the same struggles that Satan intended for evil. This is such a great reminder that, even when Satan wants us to feel isolated and alone, we aren’t! We have other believers praying for us, and that is so powerful. Thank you so much for sharing this!

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    • awwe thanks Emily! You are a blessing as well! Every time I come across your blog (by a comment or you post something) I always stop and say a prayer for you and Baby A! Hugs!! xoxoxo

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  11. I love this post and want to thank you (again) for being the courageous cat in that room full of rocking chairs! Reading your blog is a highlight in my day.

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  12. This is so true!! I feel like these blogs are the way God has connected us to help each other along this long path we are on. The more prayers we can give and receive the better!! I got your package in the mail yesterday, thank you so very much! You are just the sweetest!!

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  13. Pingback: Our life was a mess | waiting for baby bird

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