Soul Food, Waiting for Baby Bird

I Want It Now!

Veruca SaltAnyone remember Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? You know the bratty girl who stomped her foot and screamed, “I want it now!” That is sometimes me and when I read the story of Abraham and Sarah in the Old Testament and get to the intense part where she tells her husband to go sleep with another woman, I see that same bratty girl in my head. I see Sarah screaming to Abraham, “I want the child God promised and I want it now! So go sleep with my maidservant!” And of course, he does (rolling my eyes).

“Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children.  But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar, so she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children.  Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.” Abram agreed to what Sarai said.”  Genesis 16:1-2

So much of her journey and struggle parallels mine (being promised a son against all odds and then waiting and waiting some more), but this is one part of her story I am desperately trying to not parallel. No, I am not talking about the temptation of having my husband sleep with another woman to get the child He has promised, but rather the temptation to grow impatient with God and His incredibly slow ways that I begin wasting my time, energy, and money doing anything and everything I can in order to push ahead His timetable. So often I find myself awake at night thinking of what I could or should be doing in order to bring life to my womb sooner. I imagine Sarah also stayed awake at night, lying in bed and looking up at the roof of her tent thinking of different ways she could help God fulfill His promise.

If you are familiar with the story than you already know God promised old man Abraham that He would give him more descendents than he could count. Naturally, we know it would take at least one to get that process started, but as time passed, and the promise of a child wasn’t being fulfilled, Sarah, who was old and barren, started to panic. She might have thought God forgot? Maybe she got tired of hearing all of the advice from others on how to get pregnant?

I bet if you just go adopt the child three tents over then you will magically get pregnant!

Honey, just hold your legs up in the air after sex, it worked every time for me!

Just quit thinking about it and relax a little…

Maybe you and Abraham just need a vacation? 

Are you sure the child God promised will come from your own body?  Maybe you should explore other options?

Maybe she was tired of the isolation and shame that surrounded her as an infertile woman. Perhaps other people started calling her an enormous (not pregnant) fool for believing in a promise from God? Regardless of what caused her to think of this crazy idea of her husband sleeping with another woman, it was obvious that she had reached her limit. I believe her feelings of hopelessness and attitude of impatience clouded her faith and all she could think about was her present desire to have a child and her current failure to be able to do so. I have no doubt that she knew and believed in God’s promise to her, but when she didn’t conceive in the time frame she wanted (or expected) and concluded she probably wouldn’t, her impulsiveness, her impatience, and her intense yearning to be a mom caused her to think it was all up to her and that she must be the one to do something (and do it now) in order to make it happen. Her faith was built primarily on her ability rather than God’s ability.

Sure her plan was successful and she got a child named Ishmael, but as time would tell, he was not the son God had promised. Therefore, as a result of Sarah’s own plans, trouble was stirred. In one of the ugliest scenes imaginable, infertile Sarah “mistreated” Hagar, her maidservant, out of anger and deep grief. When I think about how agonizing and painful infertility can be, I can only imagine that Hagar took quite the beating. Furthermore, Sarah never found room in her heart to love Ishmael as her own. It’s troublesome to know that the bitterness, anger, stress and heartache was a direct result from of all of Sarah’s “doing” and never once was it in God’s plans.

Sarah’s actions have made me question how much bitterness, strife, anger, heartache, and stress in my life have been a direct result from the decisions I have impulsively made without seeking God’s will. 

Thankfully despite their poor choices, the story goes on to say that God was still faithful to His word and He still fulfilled His promises because nearly 25 years after He had spoken to Abraham, Sarah conceived and gave birth to the long awaited son whom they named Isaac. I can’t help but wonder if the reason it took nearly 25 years for God’s word to be fulfilled was because their own plans delayed God’s plans. To me that can be an unsettling thought to know that I could potentially cause a delay in God’s timing, but it’s also a thought that motivates me to always seek God’s wisdom before I start making my own plans. Sarah never sought wisdom from God on how to build her family. Instead, she let her “I want it now” attitude take over and it cost her more than she could afford.

I don’t ever want my “I want it now” attitude to persuade me down a path God never intended me to travel or possibly hinder me from having His best in my life. I don’t ever want my impatience to cause me to do things that are pointless and irrational, thus leading to more heartache, stress, financial debt, anxiety, and resentment. I don’t want to forget the truth that despite what the facts in my circumstances look like, God is faithful and nothing is too hard or impossible for Him. I don’t want to be so focused on my intense present desire to become a Mama bird that I am like Sarah and will do anything and everything except first ask for God’s plan, listen for His voice, trust in His timing and believe in His promises. Doing anything else would be a Hagar…pointless.

I would like to emphasize that the point of this post was to share my belief that it is important to seek God’s plans FIRST before ever taking action in any situation that we come across in our life. I believe that by not seeking His will first and then obeying His ways, could lead us into pointless actions that might cause more harm than good. God has different paths for everyone to take in building their family; and not one path will look the same for another. For instance, one supplement might work well for your friends body but not work well with yours. This is why it is important for each of us to ask Him which path is best for you as an individual. Your path might be to take Clomid…do IUI or IVF…possibly adoption…it could be just changing your diet or exercise…or maybe it will look like mine and God will ask you to do nothing but wait. Whatever it is, just trust and believe that His plans are the best plans.

I would love to connect with you on a personal level, so if you liked this post, pass it on. Then come find Waiting for Baby Bird on the public Facebook page or join me on Instagram @waitingforbabybird. I can’t wait to “meet” you!If you are looking for a faith-based infertility community of other women who just “get it”, then head over to the *PRIVATE* Waiting for Baby Bird Support group for hope + encouragement. There you will find opportunities to ask for prayer, watch *LIVE* encouragement videos from me, author of “Waiting for Baby Bird,” as well as be able to share your heart with others on the same path, enter into exclusive giveaways, and so much more! So what are you waiting for? Find us here! 

73 thoughts on “I Want It Now!”

  1. This seems really insulting to people who pursue family building in any way but sitting around and waiting for a medically improbable pregnancy?

    1. I never once said a person had to just sit around…You have misunderstood my heart in this post. The point I was trying to make was that it is important to seek God’s plans FIRST before taking action. By not seeking His will and ways could lead us to pointless actions that could cause more harm than good. God has different paths for everyone to take in building their family. Not one path will look the same for another.

  2. You are reading my mind right now girl!!! I go from knowing IVF is the direction we are being lead and then questioning…craziness!

    1. I know exactly how you feel :/ Just be patient…maybe the peace and uneasiness you feel at the moment is because it’s not quite time for you to pursue it…but maybe the RIGHT time will come later…?

  3. Oh my gosh. I soooo needed this right now. I am seriously tearing up!! Such a great outlook. So true. Can I please reblog this???? Thank you for being amazing. It is definitely a great reminder that we need to trust in Gods plan and know his timing is always right.

    1. Of course you can reblog! I was kinda nervous to post it because I didn’t want people to take it the wrong way. Basically my heart is to always seek God before making decisions because if we don’t, our actions could in turn be pointless.

  4. Love it! Just wanted to say, though, that I believe that when God makes a promise, He will keep it in the time that He has set to do so. He is bound by His own word! And, while He may not have told you or me the time in which He plans to fulfill His promise, He knows when that time is. So, I personally think that the only way to “delay” His promise, would be to quit being intimate with our husbands!!! 🙂 That’s just my two cents worth. Hope you have a great day.

    1. I agree Christy 🙂 But I also believe that another way to delay or hinder God’s promises is to not believe in them or quit believing in them all together. The reason why I feel this way is because of the Israelites. God promised them that they would enter into the land flowing with milk and honey but once they saw the “giants” and feared they couldn’t over take them, they stayed where they were at for 40 years despite God saying they could win the battle and the land was theirs to take. As a result, only Joshua and Caleb entered into the Promised Land 40 years later) because the Bible says they were the only ones to believe God would fulfill the promise to them. Receiving all of God’s promises does require faith on our well as some happy time in the bedroom. tehehehe. I hope what I said makes sense. I hope you have a great day as well. The week is almost over! yay!!!

  5. my step son is really into that movie right now so I have seen it like….50 times recently. Its amazing because we look at her tantrums are are horrified by the behavior but I have def been guilty of doing irrational things because I just can’t be patient enough for God’s timing.

    1. I don’t even want to mention the irrational things I have done….and it’s not just fertility related stuff. I can be quite the impatient person :/ YIKES!

    1. Thanks sugars and this is one of my FAVORITE movies. When Goldilocks gets out of the bath tub at night and I comb her hair, she reminds me of Charlie (off the old school film). Cracks me up every time. LOL! xoxo

  6. I often reminded myself of this story when I was questioning God’s plan. I was desperate to have a child. I tried hard to remind myself that like Sarah, God would give me a child when I was meant to have one and not before. I am still envious of your faith as it is so hard to keep faithful during this journey. I know you will be rewarded for that faith!

    1. Thanks so much girl! It’s not easy…I am constantly having to read devotionals, dig into His word or close myself off in my office for hours so that I can stay strong and not waiver. It also helps out that I have an amazing and supportive husband. When I start to get all antsy or start to doubt, he reigns me back in.

  7. Girl, my impatient “want it now” attitude has for certain lead me down a path God had no intentions of me traveling down and no doubt delayed His plans for me. If only I’d been more patient. I love this post. Your positive attitude and willingness to seek God in everything is so inspiring to me. XO

    1. Thank you so much Mel! You really have no idea how much of a blessing you are to me. Your support and encouragement mean so much to me! By the way, I ordered you a gift and my friend who made it was suppose to mail it to me weeks ago but got side tracked. I hope to get it soon so I can send it on to you 🙂 Hopefully I get it before He starts Preschool. LOL!

    1. right?!! My thoughts exactly! Or maybe He could make a Facebook status update…or a countdown clock? LOL! I tell my hubby that all of the time but then he reminds me that if we knew it all then we would be God and not need faith. I get that, but I still wanna know 🙂 tehehehe.

    1. Thank you so much! Yesterday I was so unsure of my parenting skills though! We still have Goldilocks and yesterday was just one of those days when we were around each other too long :/ My hubby had a meeting and didn’t get home until 9pm and I was a bit frazzled. Everything she did made me want to run to the closet, close the door and eat a box of swiss cake rolls. YIKES! I suppose we will all have those days though.

      1. Hahaha….she didnt come with a manual?? Lol…..I’ve been saving up this line to use for when I deliver my healthy baby and I ask the doc…’so u’ve got manuals for “it” right??’ Heheh
        Your closet run reminded me of Charlotte from SATC 🙂

      2. bhahahaha! Actually she DID come with a foster care manual…it consisted of telling me to child proof my home and one of the chapters was titled, “Hug Baby, Don’t Shake Baby.” Needless to say, the manual was less than helpful! lol

  8. It really is so amazing how God works out his promises even through out crazy attempts to speed him up/change the outcome/not trust him. He is so good to us!

    1. He sure is! All we need is to believe and have faith that He will do what He says He will do in His perfect timing. Thank you so much for reading and commenting Susannah! I love hearing from you 🙂 xo

  9. You should right a book. I mean it. I need encouragement like this everyday. It reminded me of two instances. The first was 3 years ago. I was in the car and was having a bad moment, just broken, about everything. I bowed my head (I wasn’t driving) and was praying about my situation, I was asking for comfort, assurance one day I would be a mom. At that moment I lifted my head, and there on a hill, was a church, and in big white letters was F A I T H! I felt completely comforted in that moment and assured I would be a mom
    one day. The second was 2 years ago, when A and I got engaged and talked about kids, we agreed, wait 3 years. (August 2015) I totally went back on that (fear, worry) and we started seeing the RE last fall, but when it came time to pull the trigger on IVF A just wasn’t ready and reminded me “we agreed 3 years”. I don’t want to wait. I am afraid it will too long. But that’s ME. It doesn’t matter how old I am, or what my ovarian reserve is like. God is faithful. I believe He will make me a mom. I don’t know how, or when, but I am going to work harder to wait as a women of grace.

    1. You are so right in that God is faithful and NOTHING will stop Him…no sickness, no age, no statistic…We might be limited and our bodies might be limited, but our God is not 🙂 Praying for you sugars! Anytime you have those moments of doubt, feed on His faithfulness. What I mean is, go back and remember the moments He helped you, showed you a sign, or rescued you when all seemed hopeless. xo

    1. Amen twiny! I am anxiously awaiting an announcement from you soon 🙂 When I pray for you, I just get a calming feeling…a sense of peace that it’s just right around the corner 😉 xo

  10. First off…Love “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”. It’s one of my favorite movies from my childhood and leaves me with awesome memories of watching it with my Daddy. My worry is, I won’t “hear” what God is telling me. So many people I know feel or hear what God is telling them and I haven’t found my way to that yet.

    1. I totally get that completely! I had the same exact trouble. It wasn’t until I was talking to my pastor about this three years ago that he hit the nail on the head for me. Now this is my own personal testimony, I am just sharing it…but basically my pastor asked me what my “quiet time” looked like. Umm….i remember I scrunched up my nose and said that I pray and sometimes read my devotional real quick while drinking my coffee or right before bed. I knew the second I responded with that answer, that I had the answer as to why I wasn’t always hearing from God as clear as I would like. Since that time, I make a point to spend quality time with God first thing in the morning and throughout my day. Just constantly talking to him…not always requesting anything but simply talking to Him as if He was next to me. I also started reading more in my Bible. I have learned consistently reading in my Bible on a daily basis helps me hear His voice. The words written on the pages are His words…therefore when I ask Him for help and it doesn’t sound anything like what He would say or what is written in the Bible, then I know that its not from Him. It wasn’t until I got really familiar with the Bible was I able to start distinguishing. Like I said, this is my personal testimony on how I was able to go from not hearing Him, to hearing Him often. Sometimes too much. LOL! The Bible says in James that He loves to tell His children the right paths to take and that if we ask for wisdom and do not doubt in our hearts that what we ask for we will get, then He will answer and give us the guidance that we need. I hope this helps 🙂 And yes, I LOVE the movie too! It used to scare me a little as a kid tho…but so did Alice In Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz. I had a fear of going somewhere and not being able to return apparently. LOL!

      1. Thank you so much for your testimony. It’s something I’m trying to get better about but man do I have a heck of a time getting up any earlier than I do for reading or exercising, lol. I just need to work harder at it. 🙂

  11. Haha I posted about feeling like her a couple months ago! I am SO impatient and I want things NOW no matter what it is, so this journey has been especially hard!! Hang in there, our times will come!!

    1. Thanks sugars for your awesome support and encouragement. She doesn’t look to pretty when she throws a fit and it makes me wonder what my hubby thinks when I throw a fit…about anything. haha

    1. While writing this post, I realized I can be a little Veruca Salt in a lot of areas of my life. YIKES! I’m working on those areas now. xo

  12. Thanks for sharing this story. As it has been a while since I have read this one. I want to stomp my feet everyday and pout like a child that my day hasn’t come yet. But this whips me right back to reality. It isn’t what my husband and I want, it is what god wants. Maybe we need to look to him a bit more in our journey. I love your stories.

    1. You are so right! I think sometimes we (or maybe just me) also get caught up in what someone else is doing and try to mimic that same path. That doesn’t always work :/

  13. This post describes me perfectly right now! It’s been one of those difficult weeks & I soooooooooo needed to read this today. Thank you! <3

    1. Hey girl! I’m so glad this came at just the right time for you. I was reading in Hebrews the other day and it said that all of God’s promises are received through faith and patience. We just gotta keep our head up and know that He will do what He says He will do 🙂 Sending you hugs though because I know it is easier said then done. xo

  14. Gulp – I’m guilty of this. I just started regarding Pregnant with Hope based on your recommendation (THANK YOU!) The first chapter stopped me in my tracks. Wow! I want it and I want it NOW!! Thank you for reminding me of this again. It’s just what I needed 🙂

  15. Yes. Just yes. You have got this figured out. And while some days, I have a grip on this. Today, I don’t. I so desperately needed to read this. You rock. Ignore the haters. 🙂

  16. Dear, sweet friend! I feel I have neglected coming here…things have been so hectic in our lives lately…but a good hectic!! Then I got really sick again….SO, here I am, finally…hoping all is well with you, so proud of you for being determined to wait upon God’s timing, and so grateful for your words today. I needed to read this post….God has been dealing with me along the same lines, as far as the part about waiting upon HIS timing, and not taking things into my own hands. I love the story in the Bible where Joshua told the people to stay 2000 cubits behind the Ark of the Covenant, so they could see which way they should go. If they lagged too far behind the timing of the Ark, they could miss seeing which direction it was heading and when it was ready to move. And God didn’t want them to crowd in on it, either, trying to force their way ahead of it or trying to make it move faster than God intended. They needed to maintain that healthy, respectful distance. There is SO much in this passage that God has been giving me lately concerning issues in our own lives. The Ark not only ordered the STEPS of the children of Israel, but It ordered their STOPS, also. The stops are the hardest for me…I feel like i want to get things moving, especially once God gives me a specific promise (as He has definitely given you for sweet, baby Josiah). Once He makes that promise, I just automatically think He is going to get things moving right away, then I have to sit back and surrender to waiting…..again. I can so relate to all you are saying here….my heart goes out to you in your waiting. One day, all of this will be worth it…it will all be so worth the wait! Until then, know that God brings you to my mind often in prayer, and I am praying for you!! Love you!!!

  17. Hi from the Faith and Fellowship blog hop! So… the baby advice from Bible times made me lol. It was brilliant. And I hear ya – so many times I’m really impatient with God too and I want everything right now!

    1. bahaha! I had so much fun when I was writing those. They were human just like you and me and I’m sure Sarah got an ear full! haha! Especially since everyone around her was probably popping out kids like it was their job. Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I hope you have a fabulous weekend!

  18. I always look forward to reading your blog posts! I have thrown more Veruca Salt tantrums than I would like to admit… I walk a very fine line between my “need” to have a family NOW and trusting God’s plan. At the end of the day, when the dust has settled, I lean on Him and I trust Him. On my worst days I always read the story of Sarah and Abraham. It is such a reminder that we are not the ones running the show!

  19. This was just what I needed to read this past week. I’ve been very stuck in the “I want it now” mind frame and not so much in the trusting in God’s promises, timing or direction one. Funny how wanting a child turns me into an even bigger one sometimes.

    Also, this Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory movie is one of my favourites of all time!

  20. Thank you for sharing this, I needed the reminder. I’m in a 2ww now and just keep telling myself it isn’t going to happen for fear of disappointment, but I also need to remember if it doesn’t I can rest in the Lord and not feel all the striving and fear.

  21. Elisha, this was a hard read for me. Five years ago today I found out about my Hagar–except I didn’t give him permission for that.

    I don’t have the faith that you do, but when you express your faith, it sustains me. I am so thankful for that.

    1. oh honey I am so sorry. I just can’t imagine. Also, don’t worry about the amount of faith you have…you don’t need to have my measure of faith…you just need to have your measure and hold onto it tight. I am thankful that I am able to help you in any way. If you seriously need to ever chat, vent or whatever, PLEASE email me anytime.

    1. Right?! LOL! I was dying laughing at myself for coming up with that one. LOL! When I read bible stories, I try to myself in that time era and I KNOW the ladies back then were no different then the ones today. We are alllll human.

  22. A to the Men, girl! And my oh my do we rationalize and justify our pushing and helping God along. As if we know better than the creator of the universe. Hah! Man, I can be dense sometimes. Much love!

    1. I know right?! Why is that we (or at least me) think we know more than God? And we can do better with our lives than He can? I am silly sometimes in my thinking. hehe. Thanks so much girl for commenting. I hope you have a great week 🙂

      1. OMG I have a draft in my blog from May with this Veruca Salt mine is titled “I don’t care how I want it now” so funny how much a like we are, I will finish it and post it soon. Love how insych we are. God is good. You truly bless me.

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