Control often disguises itself as responsibility, but it quietly drains us dry.
I realized this while sitting in my vehicle, waiting for my husband to climb in so we could finally leave for vacation. The entire morning had been a blur of sweat, orders, and frustration. I was determined to make sure everyone had packed their toothbrushes, underwear, and the exact shoes to match their outfits. By the time I slid into the passenger’s seat, I was worn out, irritable, and overwhelmed.
And that’s when it hit me.
Trying to control and perfect everything is exhausting. It leaves us tired, on edge, and emotionally spent.
Of course, I know this. But as I sat there catching my breath, I realized this wasn’t just about a rushed morning. It was a mirror. It got me thinking about life, about the couples I minister to, and honestly, about myself. Why do we wear ourselves out trying to micromanage our plans and God at the same time? We pray, asking Him to move, yet still attempt to control how and when it all happens.
But what if we just… didn’t?
What if we actually trusted God? What if we believed His Word and rested in the truth that He really does work all things together for our good? What if, instead of telling Him what to do with our plans, we asked Him what His plans are? What if we asked for our next step, took it in obedience, and let Him handle the rest?
I can only imagine how much lighter life would feel. How much more peace we might experience. How much more we might actually accomplish.
When I stopped and asked myself why surrender feels so difficult, the answer wasn’t flattering. It’s pride. A subtle, sneaky pride that whispers my ways are better, my thoughts are higher, and I’m the only one who can do it and do it right. Control feels safer than trust, especially when we’ve been disappointed, let down, or forced to wait longer than we ever imagined.
It’s uncomfortable to admit. But honesty is where freedom begins.
The first step is recognizing it. The second step is choosing change.
So my prayer became simple: Lord, empower me through Your Holy Spirit to let go. Lead my life. And maybe… let my family pack their own toothbrushes.
I don’t know who this is for today. Maybe it’s just for me. But one of our core values in this ministry is transparency, because without it, healing doesn’t come, and freedom remains just a thought.
If you can relate to this in any way, take a small step of faith today. Be honest with God. Be honest with someone you trust. Surrender doesn’t happen all at once, but it always starts with truth.
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
— 1 John 1:9
“Trust the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
— Proverbs 3:5–6
