We’ve all been there. We have had someone say something insensitive to us in conversation, and we get bitter or even angry as we tell them why their comment was rude. Or better yet, give them the silent treatment, making a vow to ourselves that we wouldn’t speak to them again. At least not until they apologized. But on the other hand, we’ve also been the person to say something insensitive. And rude.
Recently, I was the one on the “other hand.”
I did it.
Over the Christmas holidays, I went to a gathering, and a long-time friend of 25 years was talking about her recent divorce. She was telling all of us “girls,” whom we have all known since pimples and biology class, the problems that led to the end of her marriage, including how he would treat her.
One of the issues is that after she had a long day at work and cooked dinner for the family, she would ask him to clean up the dishes while she gave the kids a bath. He would give a chuckle and never do them. Without thinking, I said, “Daniel (my husband) does the dishes at our house.” I knew what I had done as soon as the words flew out. It was the equivalent of me sharing my struggle to conceive and someone else blurting out, “All my husband has to do is look at me, and I’m pregnant!” It was so insensitive. I felt awful, and I needed her to extend grace to me.
Leaving the gathering and traveling the hour home really reinforced what I already knew, and that is, we all say stupid and insensitive things without first thinking about how they may sound or come across to others.
Therefore, I don’t know who this is for today, nor do I know why you were drawn to read this article, but if you are holding a grudge or taking offense to something someone else said to you, extend to them the gift of grace. I am thankful my friend gave me the gift, which included her understanding, her forgiveness, and the freedom to make a mistake but not get shame or bitterness toward me in return.
Let’s all learn to give this gift freely.
You never know when you, yourself, will need it too.
With all my love,
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1 thought on “I Said Something Insensitive to My Best Friend”
This is so true!! I always cringe at some things I saw in the moment and think back on later.
I pulled out my Jesus calling book today to read through it again and your sweet words are in the front.
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