One Cycle Closer

Three Pic Collage 2

I am cramping, bloated, nauseous, fatigued and having a serious–you better get me one now— craving for hotdogs.  I am also making frequent trips to the ladies room, my breasts are beyond tender (which rarely happens) and I haven’t been able to stop crying ever since I saw the Snuggle commercial this morning (that bear is so cute).  Regardless of what it appears to be (a possible pregnancy), I am on calendar day one of my menstrual cycle and while I didn’t see the miracle of a positive pregnancy test this month, I did see a few other miracles…

68 days, 70+ days, 39 days, and 32 days

(Those are the approximate lengths of my last four cycles)

No Ovulation.  No ovulation.  Day 25.  Day 18.

(Those are the approximate days in which I ovulated during those cycles)

Do you see them?!  No?  Yes?  Did you examine the numbers closely?  Did you do a double take when you saw the sudden decline in cycle lengths?  What about the fact that ovulation not only happened again this month, but it also occurred earlier?  Basically did you take notice the healing that is happening inside my body?!  If not, go back up and take another look.  I’ll wait…

Last month I wrote about how God is doing a new thing and I’ll admit, I have had my moments of doubt in the last thirty days as to whether or not my cycles would continue on this trend of ‘normalizing’, but it’s undeniable to me now and I am just overwhelmed by His grace and faithfulness.  I can’t help but sit here today more hopeful than ever for what will happen in next cycle.  I can’t help but smile as I give Him all the honor and glory because I have done nothing to cause this sudden change in my body except persevere in my faith.

I can’t tell you how many days I wanted to throw in the towel as I went from having 34 day cycles to 42 and then 56 before slowly climbing as high as a 70+ day cycle.  I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to quit taking my prescriptures and gospills because it seemed as though the more I put my hope and faith in God, wrote about my belief that He would undeniably fulfill His promise of a baby bird to me, the more everything would become worse.  But I didn’t.

Instead I pushed through the thoughts of hopelessness when it seemed too difficult to remain hopeful.  I pushed through the doubts of God’s promises after each negative pregnancy test.  I pushed through the desire to give up when everything around me appeared to be worsening and more obstacles stood in my way.  I pushed through the desire to stop praying when it seemed like my prayers were never going past the ceiling.  I pushed through and didn’t back down when others mocked me, ridiculed me and called me a an enormous (not pregnant) fool for my faith.  I pushed through with persistence and perseverance and I am so thankful I did.

Many times we believe miracles will happen almost instantaneously and when it doesn’t, we start to lose hope and eventually give up.  However, I believe that just like a seed takes time to sprout and grow, it may take some time for one to see the manifestation of their healing.  Just look at the story found in Mark Chapter 8 when Jesus healed the blind man.  At first when Jesus spit on His hands and touched the blind man’s eyes, the blind man discovered he could see, but not clearly. In fact he said that people looked like trees walking around. It wasn’t until Jesus touched his eyes again that he was completely healed and made whole.  Just like the blind man, it make time before you see 100 percent wholeness but do not give up.  Do not lose hope.  Do not become discouraged.  Do not think that healing is not available to you.  Instead keep persevering and believing in faith until it is complete.

Am I at 100 percent wholeness?  Am I where I want to be?  No and according to some, I may never reach 100 percent and I might always remain an enormous (not pregnant) fool.  However, I have the evidence and faith to believe that God is still doing a new thing and I am one cycle closer…

once cycle closer new


But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.  ~Romans 8:25

Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.  ~Psalm 30:2

For the word of the Lord is right and true, he is faithful in all he does. ~Psalm 33:4


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97 thoughts on “One Cycle Closer

    • Amen and amen! I know I shouldn’t be shocked that my cycle was even shorter than the last time, but I am! God is so faithful to keep His word! Keep believing in your healing Amber…God who is healing my body is also healing yours 🙂 xo

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    • Thanks girl but I give all the glory and honor to God. I didn’t use to have this faith or perspective but ever since I made the decision to spend as much time with Him in the morning as possible, He has truly blown me away. Not just with these type of miracles, but just being able to “rest” and have faith to believe in the impossible. xo

      Liked by 2 people

    • I know right? I honestly can’t remember the last time I had a cycle that was less than 34 days…I think I will fall over if I ever have a 28 day cycle. Those seem to only be in text books…or while on fertility meds. lol

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  1. No faith, no ovulation tests…. and pregnant the second month of trying. Why does this silly god of yours give me what I want, while you wait and wait and wait?

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    • I have been waiting on your response 🙂 I don’t know and I don’t care why you got pregnant in two months and I didn’t. It doesn’t concern me. The truth of the matter is I am thankful for my waiting time because my marriage is stronger, my faith is stronger (which I know you could care less about) and I have been able to devote extra time to Goldilocks (our foster child) when she needed it the most in order to get settled into our home. By the way, my God is not silly…what is kind of silly is the fact that you really even seem to care about following my blog when it’s obvious you are not trying to conceive and we have completely different view points, opinions and everything else. My post hadn’t even been up less than 3o minutes and you had already commented. Which by the way, I knew you would 🙂

      Liked by 8 people

      • This may sound harsh but you could be the next Dugger and have 19 kids before I have my one and it still won’t phase me. I have a beautiful life and I’m content with just waiting for it to happen when it does.

        Have a great weekend “Lily” 🙂

        Liked by 5 people

    • I am so glad you enjoyed this post! I give God all the honor, glory and praise! I have done nothing to see a change in my body or deserve this, yet He so graciously did this for me. I’m stoked! I hope you have a great weekend! xo

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    • Amen! I’m so glad you found some hope for yourself tucked away in this message. That was my prayer…for my testimony to help someone else. Sending you prayers for your test tomorrow 🙂

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      • Thank you!! DH and I have said many times, that we can’t wait to share our testimony of how, through God, we conquered our infertility battle. May we both be victorious soon!

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  2. Bless your dear heart, Elisha. Your faith if so inspiring to all of those in waiting. The fact that you never give up is such a source of hope and a beacon of light. I am so proud of you and the way you consistently hold on to your determined faith in God and His promise to you. He has never made a promise He could not or did not keep. His track record is impeccable…flawless…and He is the same today as He has always has been!! He is worthy of our trust, even when we can’t figure out His plan or understand why things are taking so long. I didn’t understand why we had to wait 12 1/2 years for our sweet boy, but NOW, looking back, I DO understand. It all makes sense, and God’s timing could not have been more perfect. Keep encouraged, my friend, your promise will be fulfilled. As you said, you are one cycle closer! Love you.

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    • Once again Cheryl, thank you so much for your sweet words of love, support and encouragement! I often think about your story and it gives me hope and reminds me of the faithfulness of God. You are awesome! Xo

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  3. We’re totally cycle buddies! I had a super long cycle last time and this one was 30 days and I ovulated on CD 10! Weird… and meant I had a 20-day LP… which means I had a few BFNs under my belt (boo) but I did ovulate and had a 30-day cycle, so hey, that’s something!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. How wonderful! It’s been almost a year since my own cycles finally normalized and the “crazy lady” symptoms started fading. Still no baby, but the healing I’ve received has been something I rejoice over and over again…about every 27-28 days or so! So happy things are starting to line out. Praise you Father for touching my friend! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s amazing Tab! I think I will fall over when I have a 28 day cycle but I know it is coming. He is the God who heals and I’m believing! I just know that your day is coming 🙂 I think of you often and always whisper a little prayer for you. xo

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  5. Who is this silly Lily girl and why is she spreading her ugliness in a forum of support, love and hope?? No matter– as my Mom would say ‘ her life is her own punishment’. Living a life with that kind of unnecessary negativity and ugliness does not a good life make. I am not very religious at all but I am smart enough to know your faith is a beautiful thing. Keep staying strong- I know you will!

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  6. Elisha, I am so excited for you and Daniel. You get closer all the time to having your very own little baby bird, What a wonderful day that will be. The faith that you and Daniel have is such a testimony to our Living God. Praise Him for He is so good all the time.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. God is on the move and miracles are happening. We have a young woman in our church who had a similar history to yours. God had led me mid-week to the verse in I Samuel 1:27 and when this young woman’s father was in church on Sunday I felt compelled to share it with him. He said he was going to write it down and put it on his refrigerator and hang on that promise. Meanwhile his daughter started going to an acupuncturist and her periods started evening out. Did the acupuncturist accomplish this, or did God? She is now 5 months pregnant. We believe it was a miracle and I’m praying for God’s miracle for you too – SOON! “According to your faith be it unto you…” Mt. 9:29

    Liked by 1 person

    • Who knows…I did read it tho 🙂 And girl I can’t wait for you to have your BFP! It’s a good thing I don’t get everything I “deserve” though because I am truly not worthy of anything the good Lord gives me. In fact, I deserve nothing but thank goodness God gives and loves me (us) out of grace. xo

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Elisha I just want to tell u that your faith really encourages me I look forward to reading your blog every time you put up a new post,I laugh I cry and I just wanted to tell u that I think your amazing,just ignore that silly lilly hater that obvi took a big sip of her hateraide today, my hubby and I have been trying to conceive for the last 7 years and I will not given up hope because our God performs miracles all the time and I believe we will have our miracles as well trust me I’m not gettn any younger but God always delivers the message of Abraham and Sarah to me and I no without a doubt that he put this dream in my heart and FYI my wonderful Jesus also led me to your blog on the 17th the exact day of my embryo transfer so well shall see please pray for us we find out next week:-)

    Liked by 1 person

    • When I read the “hateraide” I almost spit out my coffee! Thanks for the laugh girl and thanks so much for supporting and encouraging me with each comment you make. I find it so awesome that Jesus led you to my blog on the 17th…it’s a pretty significant number in my book (wink,wink) and I’m stoked to hear the results of your transfer. Never lose hope! xo

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    • Thank ya, thank ya! What He is doing in me, I believe He is doing in you so that you can be one awesome baby making machine! Sending you hugs and I hope you have a fabtabulous weekend! xo

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  9. I love your faith. God is great. He is the ultimate healer. You, of course, already know this. I pray for you, your husband, and the children you WILL conceive.

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    • Amen!! I am so stoked and in awe of His faithfulness! I’m a testimony that even when things all around look hopeless, that they are not! God is still there and still working! xo

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    • yes, yes, yes! Amen! Last night while praying I closed my eyes and I could see old trees with no leaves…it was dark and dreary and then I started to see tiny green leaves sprouting. It was pretty cool 🙂 xo

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