Resources, Waiting for Baby Bird

Lil’ Nuggets of Advice to Someone Dealing with Infertility from Those Who “Get It”

“What’s the best tip you have to offer someone struggling with fertility issues?”

Last summer I was interviewed by Fertility Smarts and they asked me this question, which seemed to take me longer to answer than the others. I couldn’t help but think back to the beginning when I was first diagnosed with PCOS and given less than a 3% chance of conceiving on my own. I felt defeated and hopeless as I scoured the pages of the internet looking for advice on how to navigate these uncharted waters. I remember finding article after article filled with mostly useful nuggets of advice on which treatment option to pursue, diet to follow, exercise regime to try (and eventually quit), as well as vitamins to spend my life savings on. Like I mentioned, most of it was helpful, but I quickly realized it was not what my soul needed. Because what I needed was advice on how to cope when the pregnancy test was negative. And how to ride the emotional roller coaster of “happy for them but sad for me” when someone close (or even not close) announced their pregnancy. I also wanted to know if it was worth sharing my story…or better to keep it quiet. Or what about my spouse? How can we keep our marriage from falling apart in the midst of crumbling expectations? And friend, that might be why you are here. You want to know…

You want to know more than just the best treatment options to pursue, diets to follow, exercise regimens to try, and vitamins to take. This is why I asked the closed Waiting for Baby Bird online support group (which you can find here) what they would tell someone first learning of their struggle to conceive. My prayer is that through their nuggets of advice related to everything from marriage, to their faith, as well as dealing with the overwhelming pain of grief, and comparison, the struggle you face might become easier, the pain you feel will lesson, and the motivation and empowerment you need to keep pressing forward will strengthen.

It’s okay to not be okay; and it’s okay to not participate in events such as baby showers and gender reveals. ~Bethany

Acknowledge it’s a death and give yourself permission to grieve. (And know others won’t understand it). Because it’s the death a dream–of the children you always thought you would have. People won’t understand this because there isn’t a body or person, but for us, we feel as though we had lost not just one person we loved, but several. ~Monica

Give yourself grace and space to experience grief. Whether it is grief from a pregnancy announcement, a recent loss, the worry from not knowing what your next steps will be, the stress from budgeting due to medical treatments or adoption costs, the two-week wait, or anything and everything in between. And don’t feel guilty for it either. What you are going through is painful. If you had a cut you wouldn’t be mad at yourself for hurting and you wouldn’t pretend it wasn’t bleeding. You would immediately take care of it. Therefore, don’t be mad at yourself for the feelings you feel from this type of cut to your heart. Don’t ignore them either. Simply take care of it by feeling them out. ~Elisha, author of Waiting for Baby Bird

Know that it’s okay to say no…

No to working in the church nursery.
No to holding your cousin’s baby.
No to attending the baby shower.
No to planning the baby shower.
No to pursuing treatments.
No to answering questions regarding why you and your spouse do not have children yet.
No to listening to unsolicited advice.
No to visiting a newborn in the hospital.
No to sitting through a baby dedication.
No to attending the gender reveal party.
No to opening those picture perfect Christmas card’s
No to adoption (it’s not always for everyone).
No to fostering (again…not for everyone).
No to keep trying and trying and trying…

The best thing for your soul can sometimes just be a simple “no” if in this season saying “yes” will push you away from relationships, rob you of hope, or crush your faith. ~Elisha, author of Waiting for Baby Bird

Allow yourself time to process and grieve the life you thought you would have. So often we feel as though we have to keep up a facade and we pretend we are okay, when behind the mask, our hearts are broken and our dreams are shattered. It is a hard journey and one none of us would choose. We have to be free to cry, to be angry, to feel the sorrow and plethora of emotions. But then we must go forward. The time frame is different for us all. Some learn to cope and move forward within days of hearing bad news, others like me, need years. Knowing that I am not alone and finding a community of other women has been a priceless asset for me. but I had to learn to give myself the freedom to be real about where I was and how I felt going through it all. ~Beka

Not everyone’s journey is the same. We all feel and experience differently, therefore know that you have the right to say no to holidays and other events if you are feeling sad or uncomfortable. ~Brandy

You may have to spell out what support means to you. After all, we can’t expect our friends and family to always know what we need, therefore we might have to tell them. It can feel weird, awkward, and even selfish letting others know specifically how they can help you, but if you don’t, then you can’t get upset if they don’t always say or do what it is you need in regards to support. ~Elisha, author of Waiting for Baby Bird

Take advice with a grain of salt knowing that people mean well even when their advice is terrible. ~Danielle

Gently educating friends and family is okay to do when done in love and not in hurt or anger. Most of the time people mean well and they can’t do better if they don’t know better. ~Brittney, author of Path to Promise

You and your partner are not the only ones hurting. The truth is, your siblings, parents, and others whom you are close to are most likely also grieving with you; however they just don’t know how to express it or comprehend it. Therefore give them grace when they offer you advice, they simply just want to help you achieve your dreams. And when your mom, dad or grandma tells you to give up or insinuates it’s just not meant to be, ignore them. They are most likely feeling hopeless in that moment and therefore only saying the same things you probably have said or will say to yourself when another month goes by without seeing those two precious pink lines. It’s all about that grace…the same grace you would hope they would give to you if the shoe were on the other foot. ~Elisha, author of Waiting for Baby Bird

Your family may not know exactly how to be there for you, but let them at least try. ~Katrina

Be present with friends and family even when it is hard; those moments will become the memories that get you through the rough times. ~Heather

Some people in your circle will need a stronger boundary. Be sure to know who is safe to share your journey with, and be on the same page with your spouse about it. ~Brittney, author of Path to Promise

Don’t compare your story to anyone else’s. God designed your story for you, and their story for them. ~Danielle

Try not to respond to someone else’s hurt with your own. It’s not a comparison game. After all, when I get cut, I bleed. And when you get cut, you bleed. Pain is pain. And pain is relative to the person experiencing it. ~Lesley

Someone else’s joy and pregnancy don’t take away from what God can do for you. We can celebrate their victory and weep in our disappointment. ~Serenah

Don’t compare your struggle to others. I used to always say, “Well, I can’t be that sad because I’m not like so-and so who has been trying for x amount of years.” Any amount of time with infertility is hard and you can grieve that. ~Shelbi

One of the hardest things I have had to realize is that what God has blessed others with is none of my business. ~Rachel

Her success does not mean your failure. ~Anne

Every time I start to compare my life to a friend who has the family I hope for, I read the story of Rachel and Leah. Rachel wanted babies and Leah longed for love—the sisters had what the other wanted and spent their lives battling one another. Neither sister was happy. When we recognize our joy is in Jesus and not our circumstances we can look at the gorgeous blessings we do have and focus our attention there. Jealous will often creep up but I’ve found singing praise and gratitude will often help me out of this jealous mindset. ~Brittney, author of Path to Promise

There is no right way to “do” infertility. What treatment option works for one person might not work for you. And that’s okay. How long people choose to pursue their dream of parenthood might be shorter or longer than what you and your spouse have agreed upon. Again, that is okay. How other people share so openly about their experiences might not be for you. Once again, totally okay. There is no right or wrong way to “do” infertility. After all, 6+3=9. But so does 5+4. The way you do things and the way I do things aren’t always the only way to do them. ~Elisha, author of Waiting for Baby Bird

Find one person you can confide in on the hard days. ~Shannon

Don’t let anyone (including yourself) make you feel isolated, it will only slow you down and beat you up inside…trust me, having a support system is important! I can be a hypocrite with this one because I hate talking about feelings, but it’s so much better to have people to lean on when all of the emotions and tears start to get the best of you. ~Ashley

Don’t struggle alone. It’s not something to be ashamed of and struggling alone makes it that much harder. ~Shae

It’s okay to talk about your infertility with friends and family. I kept our infertility hidden for almost two years and I was so depressed because I was dealing with it alone, minus my husband. The moment I opened up, I felt as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. ~Erica

Sharing is so important! You never know who might need to hear your story. Just be aware of or know the people whom you are sharing it with because some will be understanding and be kind, while others will not. But don’t let the ones who are not get you down. After all, it helps to know how you can turn to in the future for support. ~Melissa

Our stories are powerful and can impact others on this journey in ways we will never know, however, sometimes it’s not safe or maybe we aren’t ready. We don’t have to share every feelings with the world, but when all else fails, share your story with God and a trusted friend. Bottling up these emotions is a dangerous recipe for implosion, and getting vulnerable is a way to allow others to speak truth over the lies that creep in our head and the shame that resides in our hearts. Putting truth and light into darkness is a beautiful way to combat the ache. ~Brittney, author of Path to Promise

I felt like I was keeping a secret by not telling others of our struggle. Little did I know how many people were dealing with the same issue with whom I could talk to and rely on. I wish I would have spilled the beans earlier about my issues because then maybe I wouldn’t have felt alone and had more support early on. Now that it’s out, I feel much better. ~Kim

Seek counseling if necessary. My therapist once told me years ago that the minute you start to wonder if you need a counselor, it’s already past time. ~Ashley

If you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone, at least journal. ~Elisha, author of Waiting for Baby Bird

Put your husband and your marriage first. The worst thing that happened to me was I became obsessed and wanted to have sex all of the time in hopes we would conceive. I didn’t realize he was starting to resent me for it a little. So, we took a break from it, and now, we make love when we feel like it, not because an ovulation prediction stick tells us to. ~Erin

Don’t blame your spouse for any of it. You are in this together and you have to love each other through it all. ~Megan

If you and your spouse are not on the same page, don’t nag. Nagging only makes it worse. Therefore, simply remain quiet; talking to the Holy Spirit instead. Ask him to speak to your spouse on your behalf, as well as speak to you. After all, what if it’s your heart that needs to be changed? I realize this is a scary prayer to pray, asking for your heart to be changed, but if the Holy Spirit changes it, then trust that it is for the best. Also, when waiting for hearts to be changed, don’t start nagging about it again, because in doing so you might just be interrupting the Holy Spirit who was still talking…still changing…still working. No one likes to be interrupted…even the Holy Spirit. ~Elisha, author of Waiting for Baby Bird

If you go to the doctor, try to go together so that your spouse sees and hears everything first hand. For some reason, men “get it” when a doctor says it. I could talk until I am blue in the face and he wouldn’t understand.  ~Kimberly

Don’t take your disappointments or anger out on your spouse because your spouse is struggling just as much as you are even if they don’t show it.  ~Heather

Have unplanned sex that doesn’t occur around ovulation! Let your husband know that he is more than just a baby making machine! ~Brittney, author of Path to Promise

Know that your husband grieves differently than you and give him grace for that. ~Sara

You are STRONG. You are a SURVIVOR. You WILL find your way, it won’t be easy, but you CAN make it. ~Felicia

It’s not going to be easy, but it will be worth it. ~Cerissa

Don’t let the hurt of today blind you to the hope of tomorrow. ~ Chelsea

If you are doing the right thing, but getting the wrong results, don’t give up hope. You never know when your breakthrough is going to break through. ~Elisha, author of Waiting for Baby Bird

I want you to know you are capable, you are brave, you are significant, and you are loved. Even if you don’t feel like it right now. ~Elisha, author of Waiting for Baby Bird

Don’t waste the wait. Ask God what your purpose is in this season. For so many years I thought my life was on pause because I didn’t have children but everyone around me did. Oh, how I was wrong. The truth is God has multiple purposes for each of our lives and His plans aren’t defined by one season. ~Megan

It’s okay to feel like this is hopeless. Feel the feelings and then tell Satan to get lost. ~Renee

Never say never. Don’t rule things out just because you are afraid. I said in the beginning that I would never do IVF because I was scared. Well, I have done it all including IVF and it is what has given me my babies. ~Stephanie

It’s not an easy road to travel, but every bump and road block is all worth the wait when you are holding your baby in your arms. So never give up. Believe that your rainbow will come after the storm you are in has passed. ~Sarah

You will have good days and bad, but don’t give up! ~Sarah

With almost 12 years of experience behind me, I can safely say that you will make it. On the days you feel like you just can’t go on, are just that…days. So cry on the floor in a ball if you can’t do anything else, but know that you will eventually be okay. It’s okay if you are angry. There are five stages of grief and anger is one of them. And on that note, you are grieving. You are grieving the death of a dream, the death of what your future was supposed to look like. So say no if you have to, and don’t let people guilt you into going places you just can’t go. Most of all, you are not alone. There are too many infertility sisters out there, so go find a couple of ladies to talk to, and you’ll become friends for life. They’ll get you when no one else can. ~Alicia

Romans 2:11 says that God does not show favoritism. Try to remember this on the days when you feel left out, forgotten, and abandoned. Because while your feelings will tell you one thing, you need to let the Truth of His word become what you believe. ~Elisha, author of Waiting for Baby Bird

It’s not your fault. The rain falls on the just and the unjust. But God is still in control and He is still faithful. Therefore, hold onto hope and continue to believe in miracles. ~Melissa

The doctors might have given you a 5 % chance…or 3 %chance…or zero % chance but with God you have a 100% chance! ~Elisha, author of Waiting for Baby Bird

Worship even when it hurts. ~Brittney, author of Path to Promise

Before taking that next step, whether it is pursuing treatments, natural remedies, or a special diet plan, ask God about what He wants you to do. His plan will be the best plan. He knows what your body before than you and most certainly better than doctors. He also knows what will work, therefore seek Him and trust where He is guiding you. ~Courtney

Cling to God; turn to Him and He will help you through when you think you can’t hold on any longer. ~Renea

Infertility is not a form of punishment. God shows this when he told the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth in the New Testament. God calls them righteous, yet both childless. However Elizabeth did become pregnant even in her old age and gave birth to John the Baptist…as in…John THE Baptist, the one who paved the way for Jesus. I am inclined to think that infertility has nothing to do with us but everything to do with ensuring my child is born exactly when they need to be born in order to be used exactly how God needs to use them. It’s not about me, it’s about He. ~Sarah

God can and will heal those broken and shattered dreams. He will even give you new and better ones. He is doing this with me. It hasn’t been easy, but my heart is healing and I’m beginning to dream again. ~Ashley

Intimacy with God is vital. Therefore, get real with Him and don’t be afraid to tell Him how you really feel (psst…He can take it). ~Ashley

Don’t let this struggle destroy you. It will threaten to consume you but draw near to God, He will sustain you. Focus on the many and abundant blessings in your life and not what you are waiting for.  ~Pamela

Don’t idolize becoming a parent. I know it’s hard, but it’s not what God desires for you. Instead focus on what breaks His heart and less of what is breaking yours. ~Katelyn

Don’t let your struggle become your identity. Although it will be hard, God is still on the throne. He is always there, even in the silence and the chaos. Therefore, when it seems as though it’s all there is to think about, remember Who’s you are, and that He has a purpose behind it all. ~Sondra

You are going to have hard days and that is okay, but don’t stay there. Instead, get in the word of God and find scriptures that encourage you; write them down and hang them up as reminders. I keep some on my kitchen window so that when I am doing the dishes, I can be reminded of hope. ~Crystal

it’s okay that you are angry with God; just go to him with your anger and allow him to sooth your soul. ~Katy

God does not put sickness, infertility, or disease on anyone, therefore I know I can stand against the enemy and infertility because Jesus became a curse on a tree so that I would be redeemed from the curse. ~Katie

God is for you, not against you! He loves you! If He knows the very numbers of hair on your head, then rest knowing that he also knows the deepest aches and desires. He is the way maker. His word never fails or returns void; therefore, you can trust Him and His timing. ~Katie

Pray! Leave it at Jesus feet and trust him with your whole heart. I know it’s easier said than done, but when you fully start trusting him, the journey will seem less scary. ~Bethany

Pray even when you don’t feel like it. Pray even when you feel angry at God; he wants you to talk to him and share your heart. Pray even when you feel like you are talking to a brick wall. And also find someone who you can confide in; someone who will listen and pray for you and with you. ~Hannah

Don’t neglect reading your bible. You might think it is pointless and you are not getting anything out of it, but you are. I recommend studying the seven couples in the bible who struggled to conceive, as well as on the hard days reading through the book of Psalms. Both bring healing, and both will bring you hope. ~Elisha, author of Waiting for Baby Bird

Avoid researching every little symptom, side effect, etc. because you will only drive yourself crazy! ~Ali

Be open to taking breaks. The truth is you can only peddle uphill for so long before you need to take a break. The same holds true as you pursue your dreams. You can only climb this mountain of infertility so long before you need to stop (for a bit) and take a break. A break does not equal quitting. It just means that…a break. A chance to catch your breath, rest, and prepare mentally to keep going. ~Elisha, author of Waiting for Baby Bird

Don’t let this circumstance steal your joy or consume your every moment. It can easily become all you think about, and in turn make you bitter. ~Heather

I write quotes that I have heard or scriptures that have spoken to me, and then I put them on my bathroom mirror. It really is a breath of fresh air whenever I’m brushing my teeth and see those words of encouragement. ~Madison

Take one day at a time. Also, try to find a hobby or something to preoccupy your mind and time for the “hard” days, because there will be some, if not lots. Don’t ever blame yourself or your spouse; neither of you are at fault or being punished. Don’t forget to celebrate the victories and positives. Don’t google anything because it will seem worse than it is and make you even more worried. Find someone (other than your husband or mom) who has gone through infertility and talk. Oh yeah, just breathe! ~Katherine

Find a good support group or devotional related to infertility. ~Rachel

Give yourself grace. Do not feel guilty for needing to unfollow someone on social media if the pain is too great in your heart. And those baby shower invitations? Or gender reveal parties? It’s okay if you kindly decline but send a gift instead. And you know something else? That punch in the gut feeling you sometimes get when you see another ultrasound picture, cute baby bump, or pregnancy announcement? It doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn’t mean you are not happy for them. It just means that you are human with normal human emotions. It is possible to be genuinely happy for someone else and also be completely devastated, heartbroken, and hurt over your own situation. So sweet sister, don’t beat yourself up for feeling so much grief over other people’s blessings. Instead, feel your feelings. Cry your tears. And give yourself the gift of grace. ~Elisha, author of Waiting for Baby Bird

Not having children does not make you any less of a woman. ~Katie

Do not let your happiness be determined by your circumstance. Happiness comes from within so find what else makes you happy and what else makes you smile, then go out and do those things. Katie

Keep a journal! It’s free therapy as it helps me process my thoughts, vent my frustrations (in a safe place), express my emotions, and it has even helped me work through and solve my problems. Like I said, free therapy! Not to mention the healing that writing in a journal brings. I have found that some of the most painful and heartbreaking events that have occurred in my life tend to follow me around and haunt me; that is until I write about it. Once I write it out…or pour it out…I feel emptier. But in a good way! I don’t feel as though I am carrying around so much baggage. This is why I am a FULL believer in people writing in a journal every day. It’s almost like a brain dump and it can help clear your mind as you process everything that is happening. ~Elisha, author of Waiting for Baby Bird

Have a girl date and laugh until you cry. Get out of your head. Do a face mask. Read a good book. Watch your favorite movie. Color. Draw. Write. Do more of what makes your soul happy. ~Brittney, author of Path to Promise

I realize some advice is annoying…some of it is useful…some could be thrown out with the trash, nevertheless, we all need each other’s words of wisdom from time to time. Therefore I have to ask, what nugget of advice would YOU give to someone struggling with infertility? Let me know in the comments below!

Psst…here was my answer to this question when asked by Fertility Smarts along with 11 other questions that stumped me.


I would love to connect with you on a personal level, so if you liked this post, pass it on. Then come find Waiting for Baby Bird on the public Facebook page or join me on Instagram @waitingforbabybird. I can’t wait to “meet” you!

If you are looking for a faith-based infertility community of other women who just “get it”, then head over to the *PRIVATE* Waiting for Baby Bird Support group for hope + encouragement. There you will find opportunities to ask for prayer, watch *LIVE* encouragement videos from me, author of “Waiting for Baby Bird”, as well as be able to share your heart with others on the same path, enter into exclusive giveaways, and so much more! So what are you waiting for? Find us here!

When Someone You Know Is Infertile

Encouraging Your Loved One Through Infertility

I used to receive them all of the time in the beginning when I first announced our struggle to conceive. You know, those random texts that someone was praying for me. Or a card sent to my mailbox with words that spoke Truth into my heart. Or sometimes even a surprise gift of faith that was left on my doorstep. And each one would fill my soul with hope as it reminded me that they were also believing and hoping for the day when the desires of my heart were fulfilled.

But as the years have gone by, the gifts, cards, and text messages are few and far between. And I get it. As time marches on, I have come to realize people tend to be excited for you in the beginning, as everyone around you has their cheerleader pom-poms out, letting you know they are cheering you on. And obviously arriving to the end of your journey is also an exciting time filled with lots of celebration and rejoicing over the goodness and faithfulness of God.

But then there is the middle.

And it is there in the middle, not the beginning and not the end, that a person needing a miracle needs their friends and family to rally around them the most. Because it’s in the middle that causes them problems. It’s in the middle that storms start raging and the excited emotions of hope are hard to hold or even find. It’s in the middle that they might question God, question His plan, and question ourselves. It’s in the middle that holding on to our faith is the hardest. This is why I am so thankful for this random act of faith that showed up in my mailbox this afternoon. Because in the middle is where I am. But because of her hope-filled gift given to me in faith, I was reminded that the middle is not where I will stay.

And this baby bird onsie is hopefully where my miracle in which I often daydream to look at, will one day be.

If you are reading this and there is someone you can show support to, do it! Even if it’s a card, a text, or a gift that says, “I am believing with you.” Because the middle is hard. And it is in the middle when they need you not just standing on the sidelines cheering them on from afar, but also running beside them the most. If you don’t know what to say or give, don’t hesitate to email me at 10hopeingod@gmail.com for ideas. It would be my honor to help you show your love to them.

I would love to connect with you on a personal level, so if you liked this post, pass it on. Then click here to find Waiting for Baby Bird on the public Facebook page or join me on Instagram @waitingforbabybird. I can’t wait to “meet” you!


If you are looking for a faith-based infertility community of other women who just “get it”, then head over to the *PRIVATE* Waiting for Baby Bird Support group for hope + encouragement. There you will find opportunities to ask for prayer, watch *LIVE* encouragement videos from me, author of “Waiting for Baby Bird”, as well as be able to share your heart with others on the same path, enter into exclusive giveaways, and so much more! So what are you waiting for? Find us here! 

Resources

It’s Time for the Privates to Go Private {Launching a Closed Online Support Group}

Ask and ye shall receive!

Many of you who follow my “Waiting for Baby Bird” account on Facebook have messaged me asking if I would start a “closed” group since my current page is public and you don’t want your neighbors, sweet (yet semi-nosy) mother-in-law, co-worker, boss, or even best friend reading your comments or seeing the posts that you “like”; therefore guess what?!

Your wish is my command!

 “I really like your Facebook page but I am afraid to comment or “like” anything because then everyone I know will see it. My husband and I are not public yet with our infertility struggle.”

“Have you ever considered a “closed” Waiting for Baby Bird page? I am not comfortable commenting but I would love to interact more. I am just afraid my Mother-in-law might see it and well…ya know…”

“OMG! I just commented about my friend who is pregnant and while I am happy for her, I am sad for me. I didn’t know everyone on my friends list would be able to see it! Quick! How do I delete it?!”

“I wish you did LIVE encouragement videos! I don’t have a support group to attend and this would be great!”

I am so excited to be able to offer you this NEW resource that will be filled with loads of SUPPORT, encouragement + faith-based hope, and just those “me too” moments but on a more PRIVATE level. Therefore if you or someone you know is struggling to grow their family and are looking for an online faith-based support group, aside from my current page, then join me! But before you do, let me tell you a little more about what it is so that you know what to expect, is that okay?

First of all, my mission for the group is this: to provide each person who is waiting to expand their family’s with support through prayer, hope, encouragement, as well as empowerment and strength to not stop short of all that God has for them; because trust me, what the enemy can’t take away, he will try to make us giveaway. And how does he do this? He does it through making us believe the lie that our situations are impossible to change. Or that healing is not available for each of us. Or that our circumstance has been going on for far too long and therefore it’s hopeless. But friend, while his lies might be disguised as fact, we can rest knowing that God’s Truth changes those facts as it exposes the lie.

My prayer for every person who joins is that they would not be moved by what they see, moved by what they feel, but only moved by what they believe. And that is the Truth found in God’s love for each of us, our spouses, and our dreams.

In order to provide this type of support then you can expect the following from the group:

  • An opportunity to ask for prayer in our Sunday prayer request thread that will be posted by 7pm central time.

 

  • *LIVE* Bible study videos to help encourage you on your walk with the Lord as you wrestle with the “why’s”…”what if’s” and “how come’s”. Each bible study will occur *at least* once a month and will be led by one of our administrators Brittney Closner. Here is a tiny bit more about her…

HI everyone! I am Brittney and I have been married to my husband, Jason, for six years. We have been trying to grow our family for almost 5 of those years. We love to travel and spend time together outdoors, and living in the Pacific Northwest we truly experience beautiful country.

I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) one year after we decided it was time to have a baby. However four cycles with Metformin, two cycles with Clomid and both medications did such a hormonal shift that I had suicidal thoughts and my mental health took a nosedive. At that point, we decided to rest in the promises of God and be still until He tells us otherwise–and as of now, it is not to pursue any further medication, nor foster or adoption. We go where the Holy Spirit leads and remain in constant prayer, always listening and waiting for His guidance.

I have such a heart for the TTC (trying to conceive) community–to uplift and encourage those who have unwillingly begun walking this path, to remind them how much they are loved and cared for and seen. To remind us all that we are NOT forgotten. Our identities are held in who Jesus is, and not around the intricacies of our wombs–and to truly believe that and trust God’s goodness. His story is the one I will stand my whole journey on.

  • *LIVE*  encouragement videos that I hope and pray will leave you feeling refreshed as it fans the flame of your hope and stirs within your heart to not let go of the desires God has planted in the soft fertile soil of your heart.

 

  • *LIVE* prayer videos in which I will pray over the prayer requests each member watching submits.

 

  • Scriptures and affirmations in order to help you shift your perspective and renew your mind.

 

  • Date night ideas and Marriage tips to keep the spark alive, as well as, *LIVE* videos with my husband and myself in which we will be talking about preserving your marriage while facing infertility.

 

  • Twice a month one member will be featured as “Infertility Warrior of the Week” and have the opportunity to join me *LIVE* for an interview in order to tell their story, as well as receive prayer and a personal gift mailed to them.

 

  • Amazing GIVEAWAYS on the FIRST Friday of every month! Because who doesn’t like free stuff?

And so much more!

All of this sounds awesome, right? RIGHT! And we want to keep it awesome! This is why you won’t find the following…

Complaining

Ranting

And other negativity

After all, there are a million and one infertility Facebook groups in which a person can complain about so-so or rant about their co-worker, but this will not be the group for that. i want this group to look and feel different–to be set apart. Not to mention, negativity only breeds more negativity and I want to keep this little ol’ space of mine free of drama. I want it to stay classy and positive. Helpful and Fun. Encouraging and inspiring. But most of all filled with the love of Jesus!

With that being said, those within the group will not be able to write their own post. I know, Debbie Downer, uh? But this is the only way I can ensure the group is filled with hope + encouragement. Besides I am onto those sneaky posts where people will rant/complain in the disguise of asking for prayer…you know what I am talking about…

“I am asking for prayer today because my sister’s best friend who recently got pregnant and doesn’t want any kids was complaining on Facebook about her swollen ankles! I am so mad! I would die to have swollen ankles! Who does she think she is?! She never appreciates anything and all she ever does is complain about everything anyway. She doesn’t deserve a baby! So will you pray for me?”

To me, that’s not a prayer request. That’s a rant session. Don’t get me wrong, I believe it is IMPORTANT to share your feelings but like anything, I believe it has it’s time and place…like first your quiet time with the Lord. Because my motto is this: Run to The Book before you run to Facebook. Or how about: Run to the Throne before you go to your phone. From personal experience I have found that if I take my issues to Him first, and I pour out my heart there, I don’t need to go anywhere else afterwards. He is my comforter and the One who heals my hurts and breathes into my pain with Truth.

So how does all of this sound?

If it sounds like something your soul is craving and your dreams are needing, then join me!

I can’t wait to “see” you there!

 You can find the group here.

If you have any questions, please feel free to email me, Elisha Kearns, author of Waiting for Baby Bird and founder of the online group at waitingforbabybird@gmail.com or Brittney Closner, also an administrator of the group at brittney@waitingforbabybird.com


I would love to get connected with you on a more personal level, so if you liked this post, pass it on. Then click here to find Waiting for Baby Bird on Facebook, or come follow me on Instagram @waitingforbabybird. I can’t wait to “meet” you!