Soul Food

Life is Messy

I scroll through social media, and I look at everyone’s beautiful pictures, and as much as I try not to, comparison sneaks in and starts to fatigue my soul. Thoughts of…she is prettier…her cooking is better…their clothes are nicer…their life is more comfortable…her house is perfect…their marriage is flawless…and so on roll through my mind. And before I know it, I feel like I have been in a mugging. The comparison comes, punches me in the gut, and steals my joy. It makes me feel that I am not enough and what I have accomplished isn’t enough, especially since this is my bedroom view this morning.

messy room
Oh, how I wished it didn’t look like this. Instead, I wish the clothes were folded and neatly put away. The drawers were closed. My bed was made with the pillows perfectly arranged on top, and everything else was in its proper place and therefore worthy of a picture to post for the world to see and click “like.” Then, turn around and pridefully give me a pat on the back for how many “likes” I got.

But it’s not. And the one thing I have learned about comparing my life with hers or theirs is that no matter what I am comparing it to, it is an ugly thing. It has the ability to instantly and without warning replace my happiness and joy with bitterness, jealously, envy, and hopelessness as I only begin to start seeing what other people have that I want. It creates a type of tunnel vision to where everything around me starts to look dark and gloomy. And it creates the false belief that God is sitting up there picking favorites. Which I know is wrong according to Romans 2:11, which states, “God does not show favoritism.” But still, I can’t shake the thought. Can you relate? If so, you are not alone. I am not alone.

But the truth that we need to have resonated in our souls is that we can’t judge our insides by someone’s outsides. We can’t compare ourselves to what we think we know about someone just by reading their status updates, looking at their perfectly filtered Instagram photos, or seeing them stroll through Target.

Because that woman I became jealous of the minute I saw her with a shopping cart full of kiddos or holding a precious newborn baby might just be fostering. Or perhaps she once struggled too. And that husband and wife who I always see smiling together might actually be struggling behind closed doors. And the momma who looks like she has it all together might be hanging on by a thread. Or that family who has fancy cars, trendy outfits, and extravagant vacations might be drowning in debt. And that meal my friend posted and bragged about cooking could actually taste like…well, crap. And those Pinterest projects they always do with their kiddos probably cost them too much money and added unneeded stress to their day. (Side note: It is okay to stick with Play-Doh. It is cheap and not as stressful)

So friend, let me be the first to say, it’s time you and I start taking it easy on ourselves. Because just like my room is messy, so is life. Life is messy. It’s scattered and unorganized. It’s dirty, and more often than not, it never looks the way we want it to. But despite the messy, scattered, and disorganized parts, there is something I have learned over time and through reading Justine’s book, and that is the prettiest filter through which we can view our lives, is the one that recognizes the beauty even through all the mess.

It’s the laundry that needs to be folded because we have clothes to wear.

It’s your husband’s dirty socks thrown on the floor next to the hamper that reminds us of how hard-working he is to provide for the family.

It’s the unmade bed that reminds us we had a soft place to land at night.

It’s the blankets not put back that reminds us of when they were used for snuggling.

It’s the dirty dishes that serve as a reminder of the stories exchanged over dinner.

It’s the contents of our fridge that look more like a science experiment that reminds us that the reason it wasn’t eaten was that we have more than enough.

It is easy to want life to look a certain way and get frustrated when it doesn’t. But friend, despite it not always looking like what we imagine, it is still okay. It is okay because while life can be messy, scattered, and unorganized, it can also be beautiful when we choose to look through the filter of gratitude and love and joy.

So my sweet friend, if today you are struggling with the way your life looks, change the filter. Try to look past the mess and see the beauty. It’s there. I promise.

With Love

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15 thoughts on “Life is Messy”

    1. You are so welcome Justine! Thank you for asking me! And I am so hopeful and excited for you and your endeavors! xo

  1. Loved your guest post. You are right to say life is messy. No one is perfect! I always said social media allows people to portray something they aren’t or don’t have. Hang in there!

    Jojosinfertileworld.blogspot. com

    1. Thanks Jojo! Social media can be a real downer sometimes. It always fires me up when I see someone portray themselves a certain way, yet I know how they are in “real” life. But I just gotta extend grace because I bet I come off that way to others too without even realizing it sometimes. :/

  2. I think a lot of times people try to only share the positive/good stuff on social media, and keep the sad/bad stuff hidden away for “real life”. Thank you for sharing this 🙂

    1. Yes they do :/ But I think it’s so important to be real, ya know? Thanks so much for reading and commenting girl!

      1. No worries! I feel bad sometimes because I kinda use Facebook as my sounding board to vent…I sometimes worry that people will think I’m all negative or mad all the time. I’m definitely not, I just need to vent sometimes lol!

  3. What a lovely post! And one that I can relate to quite well. I remember very well some of the times that I was horribly jealous of what I perceived others had that I didn’t while we were trying for our son. Even to this day, it can be difficult, but I have learned that what we see is not always the truth of things, only our perception of what we see. It is something I actively practice often.
    Here from ICLW.

    1. Hey there JustHeather! Thank you so much for stopping by! And yes, our perception can be so wrong sometimes. I have a four year old foster child and I know that many think she is mine (which she is for a short time I suppose) which is their perception. But their perception is false. It’s not my reality.

      Once again, thank you, thank you for checking out my blog and leaving a comment. xo

  4. I always look forward to your posts, and this one was really lovely. Something we can all relate to. You really do have an incredible writing talent. God has taken your struggle and turned it into something beautiful. I pray you will be blessed with your bambino very soon.

  5. I love the idea of changing the filter on your life. What a perfect analogy that anyone can understand. 🙂 Also, what a perfect lesson that I need to remember more often that I would like to admit.

  6. This is just one of a few post that I have read from you. I have loved everyone. As a child of faith, I appreciate the encouragment and love you radiate through these blogs. Thank you.

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