Soul Food

For the Days You Just Can’t Do It Anymore


There I stood (barely) in the kitchen with my elbows deep in soapy water, when the dam that I had constructed so carefully finally broke. And the tears I had been holding back for days? Maybe weeks? Began pouring out of me. As each tear landed in the water, I felt myself shamefully falling apart. My husband kept stroking my arm and asking (in sheer husband-like panic mode) if I needed anything. But I couldn’t even mutter a syllable, let alone formulate a full sentence. What would have been the point anyway? There was nothing he could do to lift the weight I was feeling off my shoulders. There was nothing he could do to take away the dark cloud that had been following me around all week. There was nothing he could do to make the negative pregnancy test I had taken earlier, magically turn into a positive. There was nothing he or anyone else could do to take away my frustrations. Or speak life into my dry, weary bones. There was nothing he could do to take away my worries. Or calm my fears. Or ease my burdens. Nothing. And if he would have even tried, well, it would have been anything short of a disaster. So, I did what any other good wife would do, and I saved him by giving him permission to leave as I politely and silently “shooed” him away.

With him gone, I continued to wash the dishes with my tears. But as I stood there alone, I overheard our foster child huffing and puffing in the other room. She too must have been upset and overwhelmed about something. So I quickly turned off the water in order to listen more closely, and when I did, my heart ached for her and the frustrations she expressed as she struggled to put a diaper on her baby doll.

Feeling sorry for her, I started to dry off my hands to go and help. However, as I started to walk into the other room, I suddenly found myself stopping. Because what if she didn’t want my help? What if she could figure it out without me swooping in against her wishes? And so, there I stood, patiently waiting. Well, not so patiently because I was chomping at the bit to help her; after all, it was an easy fix. Something simple. But to her? It was probably the hardest task of her day; which is probably why within minutes I heard her sigh one final time before yelling, “Mommy! I can’t do this!”  And because I was sitting on ready, I shouted back without hesitation, “Just bring it to me and let me do it.” But can I tell you friends, immediately after those words spewed from my mouth, I gasped. I gasped because I realized in that moment what I needed to start doing in my own frustrations and overwhelmingly difficult situations.

You see, all week long I have been huffing, puffing and sighing over my struggles. I have been complaining, crying and worrying. I have been fearful. Even doubtful. I have basically been so engulfed and almost miserable over situations I can’t control and circumstances I obviously can’t fix. But during this time, God has been sitting on ready. He has been chomping at the bit. And He has been patiently waiting for me to come to Him and shout, “Daddy! I can’t do this!” So that in return, He can say, “Just bring it to me and let me do it.” I know we want Him to just see us in our distress and take it but He isn’t forceful to throw Himself on us. He isn’t the type to just jump in and take control of our lives. And He will never take what we are not willing to give. Instead, He is a gentleman as he patiently waits for us to come to Him. To seek Him. And to ask for His help; which I guess is what I knew I needed to do all along, but it’s so hard. Because while it’s not necessarily hard to throw up my hands (I do this all of the time in traffic), it is hard to throw up my hands in surrender. To let go of my control and release my worries. Because don’t we feel like we are fixing the problem if we are worrying? Or trying to come up with solutions on our own? But why do we do it? Doesn’t it just make us more frustrated; feeling like a hamster spinning on a hamster wheel and going nowhere?

But friend, just like I was ready to swoop in when she cried out for help, our Heavenly Father is also ready to swoop in as we throw our hands up in the air and cry out for His. He is more than ready to carry our burdens and help us solve our problems. We must have faith to believe that He can solve them better than we ever could on our own; because while the problems we face might be huge to us, they are tiny to Him. What we think is too heavy to carry, He considers too light.

Now will your problems magically disappear when you do this? Maybe so. Maybe not. But I promise you won’t leave empty handed. Because on that day, after I helped our foster child put the diaper back on her baby doll, I stopped in the hallway, threw my hands up in the air and right there I surrendered.

I surrendered my fears. I surrendered my worries. I surrendered my control and my desires. I surrendered everything that had been pulling me down. And you know what? When I was done, the problems were still there. But when I walked back into the kitchen, I had something that I didn’t have before, which was peace and comfort that He was there working. Ultimately giving me a new dose of hope and a sense of joy to help carry me through.

Anytime you find yourself overwhelmed, confused, frustrated or uncertain, remember to throw your hands up in surrender and shout these words, “Daddy!  I can’t do this!”  Because it is only when you take your hands off of it, that He is able to put His hands on it. And it is only then that He is able to take your “I can’t” and turn it into something only He can.

With Love

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67 thoughts on “For the Days You Just Can’t Do It Anymore”

  1. As always your words are strung together beautifully. I am amazed at the simple things the children in our lives teach us, or in this case the simple things children remind us of.
    Love to you and Goldilocks!

    1. Ahhh thank so much girl! And yes, it’s crazy how much I can learn from children or maybe just people around me if I stop long enough to listen to His voice speaking to me. Sometimes it’s a “hunch” other times it’s clear as day, but regardless, He sure has been speaking to me lots through her. I have several journal entries that involve her and I’ve been meaning to get them on here. Maybe when I have some free time…

  2. I’m sorry you’ve been having a rough week. I feel like I’m right there with you right now, feeling the same things that you are. I wish this was easier for all of us. I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, but I haven’t seen much of you at all in the blog world, and I’ve been concerned. I hope you’re able to find your way through this rough patch and make it through to the other side. Until then, know that we’re all here for you. *hugs*

    1. Yeah…last week was a little emotional…my hormones felt all over the place but I have stopped reading, commenting and writing as much so that I can spend more of my time with my friends and family. I felt like for a big chunk of my day I was always staring at my computer or phone. And Goldilocks was starting to take notice as well :/ So I have been cutting back. But I’m still very active on my waiting for baby bird facebook page 🙂

      1. I hear ya! I’ve been feeling that way too, like I spend my days staring at a screen. I started a new sewing project today to help me occupy my mind and time…it helps me relax 🙂 I do read all your posts on your Facebook too!

      2. And ya for you for sewing! My mom sews but I never got the hang of it. I can’t even sew on a button! I am almost 32 and still take her things to patch up, hem or sew together :/

      3. Hahaha! I learned from my mom, I’ve been sewing literally since I was about 4 or 5. I guess that’s why it’s one of my happy places 🙂

  3. Sometimes I wish our struggles had a quick fix, but I know that there is no quick fix, not even an easy fix. All we can do is hope and pray that one day our prayers and wishes will be answered. Thank you for sharing and I hope you feel better soon!

    1. No there are no quick fixes but once I stopped (after fixing the diaper) and just said a prayer and made an effort to not stress or worry or over anaylyze everything, i strangely felt sooo much better. I felt more at peace. So while my problems didn’t go away per say, I did feel calmer and more relaxed. Does that make sense?

      1. Yes. That makes sense. It’s so important on this journey to accept our feelings and know that there aren’t any quick fixes. For me, I know now I can’t fix our infertility and I know that IVF may not work for us, (but I still hope it will work).

    1. Thank so much sugars! It sure was an emotional week last week. I cried over the fact my vacuum cleaner wasn’t working properly….who does that?

  4. I’m praying for you Elisha! I know that feeling well and boy are we just stubborn sometimes right? Joining you in giving it all to Him!

  5. You’re so inspirational and encouraging to others. I just love your sweet little gal and picturing her with her baby doll <3 So precious.. I'm continuing to believe for your miracle baby with you.

  6. I know exactly how you feel. I had a similar situation come up last night with sweet Zachary. In fact, I sat there and CRIED (when he wasn’t looking), as I watched him struggle SO hard about something that is going on in our lives. If it moves us to such deep compassion to see those we love hurting, how much more must it move our Heavenly Father’s heart, as He watches us stand at our sinks full of dishes and weep out our woes? The Lord just brought the words to a song to my mind that I want to share with you. I just emailed you, because I didn’t want to take up so much room here. Sending you big hugs and a lot of love, sweet friend.

    1. You are so right Cheryl and I often think about what you just said…about how God must weep even harder when He see’s us struggling so much. He never intended for heartbreak and sickness :/ I am heading over to check my email now. Thank you so much for always being there for me! You are just the sweetest! xo

  7. Sorry you had a rough week. I admire your ability to find the strength from God and the silver lining. Much love to you. <3

    1. Thanks sugars! By the way…I’m so excited for you! I am asking the Lord give you so much peace and strength as you wait the next two weeks. He’s got you in the palm of His hand…never forget that 🙂 xo

  8. Amen we have to surrender and the answer may not be what we want to hear. But the comfort of those big warm arms is all I need. God is great he supplies all our needs. I watch you with this struggle but I know in God’s perfect time Josiah will come. Remember Let Go and Let God and in his due time all good things will come.

  9. This is a timely message for me right now and something I have been working on too. Thank you for sharing your story and reminding us all to go to Him with all we have! God Bless!

  10. Wow wow wow. This is incredible. God has given you such a gift of insight and teaching. You already have a ministry but I see it growing even more through the years. The baby you have will just be the evidence of God’s awesome power to many.

  11. This resonated with me so much today. I was so happy to get pregnant with my daughter last year after 9 years of trying, but my pregnancy was so horrible. Even though I delivered over 3 months early and should have gotten relief, I’m *still* very sick nearly 8 months later. We’re trying to figure out why, but it’s just so hard caring for my little girl every day (especially since she has special needs as a micropreemie). Thanks for reminding me that I can turn it all over to God. Things won’t amazingly become perfect, but I’ll sure feel happier. 🙂

  12. yes yes!!! Goodness, so thankful he loves on just as much on hard/ugly days and He is there – to bring us out of the slimy pit! He is so good. So thankful that you speak so much truth and remind us that He is good no matter how good/bad the day is!!!

  13. Oh honey, I cannot tell you how many times this has been me. You are not alone. I am praying for you, sister! I had negative tests this week, too. I actually had an evap… there were 2 lines,and the “positive” one definitely had color, although it was very, very light. As the test continued to dry, the line got lighter and disappeared. I took another one the next morning and it was stark negative… and my “george” started that day. *sigh* The moment of joy I had and the thoughts of “is this really it?!”, only to be ripped away like a band aid, was horrible. Just plain horrible. So I ate a box of candy to make up for it.

  14. I love this. It brought me to tears. I know that place you were in- very well! You said it all so eloquently. Thank you.

    1. I am so sorry you also know this place but I think anyone with a pulse knows this, don’t they? Hugs to you! And thank you so much for reading and commenting.

  15. LOVE. And as usual, totally the reminder and slap in the face that I needed. Agh! Hugs to you, my friend!! I know these days/weeks/sometimes-months ALL too well and you are so right. Isn’t it just like us when you consider how simple her little diaper problem was and how little it seemed to us… but when God looks at us, I bet we look just at “cute” and our problems look just as simple and easy to manage. What an image. Thank you thank you thank you.

    1. I often think about that…about how small and simple our problems are compared to His glory, grace, mercy and power. And I know that all of that is more than enough to take care of anything I bring to Him and lay at His feet. Hugs to you sugars! Praying for you as always!

  16. You have no idea how much I needed to read this today. I’ve been drowning in fear and discouragement this week. I’m starting to think you wrote this just for me to read! He knows what He’s doing, eh? 😉 Thank you (and thanks Jesus) xx

    1. I am so sorry hun you have had a rough week. But I can speak from experience…it won’t always feel this way because today, and yesterday and the day before that were SOOO much better! Keep your eyes on Him and run to Him in those moments of despair. His arms are wide open and ready for all that you bring Him. Hugs!

  17. I’m sorry you had a rough week and am glad to know you are better. Thanks a lot for sharing such a beautiful message from Him! God Bless!

    1. Thanks so much Aish! I am doing so much better 🙂 Hormones have finally leveled out which means my emotions are getting better aligned 🙂 hehe

  18. Wow…thanks for sharing your heart! This is a wonderful post..really spoke to me! My heart is hurting for you that you got another negative pregnancy test. I am so sorry 🙂

    1. Thanks sugars!!! I have faith to believe that one day, I will be sharing the news of a positive 🙂 xo

  19. Girl…SMH…you are simply a raw, honest blessing! Thanks so much for the testimony, I so appreciate you sharing!

    Be Blessed!


  20. Thank you so much for sharing your journey so honestly with us. I cried all the way through this post because it was so exactly what I needed to hear. I know God led me right to it this morning. Thank you for letting Him use you so mightily! You are such a blessing to so many! May God bless you just as mightily in return!!

  21. You’re such an inspiration because you share these moments of awakening with the world. When I brought infertility to Him, it was the only time I experienced peace with my circumstances. It is so true!

    1. Thanks so much Jessah!!! And yes, it is so liberating when we bring Him our problems. Do they get fixed right away? Usually not, but He is faithful to comfort and give us peace while we wait and He works it all out. xo

  22. “Because don’t we feel like we are fixing the problem if we are worrying? And fretting? And trying to come up with solutions on our own?”

    Yes, this is so true (sadly). I’ve been wrestling with that same feeling. It’s a lie I’m believing that if I “surrender” I’m actually giving up on the dream, but that isn’t what that is supposed to mean. Thank you for sharing this.

    1. Yes…sometimes we take the word surrender and think of it as a bad thing. Which is what the devil tries to get us to think because ultimately he knows how much freedom comes in surrender and how God’s blessings are wrapped up in us letting Him fix our problems for us. Hang in there sugars! xo

    1. Thanks so much for always reading and commenting girl! Your support and encouragement is ah-may-zing! xo

  23. Thank you for writing this. It can be comforting to know I’m not the only one who feels this way sometimes. And thank you for reminding me to give it to God. I needed this

    1. Hey Tarah! Thanks for stopping by and leaving me a comment. And girl…you are so not alone in your feelings. I wanted you to know that I stopped and prayed for you today. I don’t know you or the set of circumstances you are in but God knows. And He sees. I am asking that He step right into the middle of them today and make all things new. Hugs!

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