Let’s face it, a well-known fact to any woman trying to conceive that the millisecond something new happens to your body during the dreaded two-week wait, you automatically think BAM! I must be pregnant! You know that your logical reasoning tells you a pregnancy can’t be confirmed until you get the two pink lines on a pregnancy test stick; however, it doesn’t stop you from believing that anything and everything starting on day one after ovulation is a sign from the heavens above that you are pregnant. Am I right? Or am I right? But then again, maybe it’s just me.
For instance, the first three days past ovulation, you just knew your egg and his sperm had a hot and spicy date night because you had the following symptoms:
- The milk in my cereal tastes funny…I must be pregnant!
- My hair is more curly today…I must be pregnant!
- I sneezed three times in a row, and that never happens…I must be pregnant!
- I keep running into walls…I must be pregnant!
- My coffee tastes funny…I must be pregnant!
It was during days 4-7 that you had the following symptoms and began planning a surprise pregnancy announcement for your husband, the cashier, postman, your neighbors, and anyone else who has ears to hear…
- I think my nose is a little stuffy…I must be pregnant!
- My breasts are a little tender when I squeeze them…I must be pregnant!
- My pee looks a little cloudier than normal…I must be pregnant!
- I just stood up and got dizzy…I must be pregnant!
- I lost more hair than usual in the shower this morning…I must be pregnant!
- I cried during the snuggle commercial…I must be pregnant!
- I crave hamburgers for breakfast and cereal for lunch…I must be pregnant!
And during days 8-13, you had the following symptoms and just knew implantation had occurred, and so you started measuring for curtains in the nursery and cleaning out cabinets to make room for bottles…
- I had a sharp pain on my right side…I must be pregnant!
- I went to the lady’s room three times before noon…I must be pregnant (never mind the 32-ounce soda I just drank)!
- The dog didn’t jump up on me when I got home…I must be pregnant!
- I have heartburn…I must be pregnant (never mind the jalapeno I just ate)!
- The cat won’t stop rubbing on my belly…I must be pregnant!
- I am constipated…I must be pregnant!
- I had a crazy dream…I must be pregnant!
However, on day 13, one day before the expected arrival of your period, you become convinced more than ever as a new symptom emerges. What is this latest and greatest symptom? Hiccups! That’s right. For the past three days, you have been randomly hiccuping throughout the day. The first day you didn’t think anything of it. However, by the second day, you took a little more notice, and today, well, you are 99.999 percent convinced that this must be an early sign of pregnancy. So what do you do? Duh! You do what you did with all of the other signs and symptoms! You page Doctor Google and ask in every possible form of a sentence, “hiccups an early sign of pregnancy,” and low and behold, what does the trusted doctor of the trying to conceive community say? YOU MUST BE PREGNANT!
So with all of these amazing signs and symptoms of an impending bun in the oven, can you imagine not even getting a squinter on a pregnancy test the next day? Me either! But it happened. Go figure.
Thank you for stopping by and reading this edition of “Laughing Your Way through Infertility.” As always, I hope you have a great week, and don’t forget to find time to laugh and enjoy the journey while you are on the path to reaching your destination.
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