The Comic Section

I Must Be Pregnant Because…

Let’s face it, a well-known fact to any woman trying to conceive that the millisecond something new happens to your body during the dreaded two-week wait, you automatically think BAM! I must be pregnant! You know that your logical reasoning tells you a pregnancy can’t be confirmed until you get the two pink lines on a pregnancy test stick; however, it doesn’t stop you from believing that anything and everything starting on day one after ovulation is a sign from the heavens above that you are pregnant. Am I right? Or am I right? But then again, maybe it’s just me.

For instance, the first three days past ovulation, you just knew your egg and his sperm had a hot and spicy date night because you had the following symptoms:

  • The milk in my cereal tastes funny…I must be pregnant! 
  • My hair is more curly today…I must be pregnant!
  • I sneezed three times in a row, and that never happens…I must be pregnant!
  • I keep running into walls…I must be pregnant!
  • My coffee tastes funny…I must be pregnant!

bitter coffee face

It was during days 4-7 that you had the following symptoms and began planning a surprise pregnancy announcement for your husband, the cashier, postman, your neighbors, and anyone else who has ears to hear…

  • I think my nose is a little stuffy…I must be pregnant! 
  • My breasts are a little tender when I squeeze them…I must be pregnant!
  • My pee looks a little cloudier than normal…I must be pregnant!
  • I just stood up and got dizzy…I must be pregnant!
  • I lost more hair than usual in the shower this morning…I must be pregnant!
  • I cried during the snuggle commercial…I must be pregnant!
  • I crave hamburgers for breakfast and cereal for lunch…I must be pregnant!

eating hamburger

And during days 8-13, you had the following symptoms and just knew implantation had occurred, and so you started measuring for curtains in the nursery and cleaning out cabinets to make room for bottles…

  •  I had a sharp pain on my right side…I must be pregnant!
  • I went to the lady’s room three times before noon…I must be pregnant (never mind the 32-ounce soda I just drank)!
  • The dog didn’t jump up on me when I got home…I must be pregnant!
  • I have heartburn…I must be pregnant (never mind the jalapeno I just ate)!
  • The cat won’t stop rubbing on my belly…I must be pregnant!
  • I am constipated…I must be pregnant!
  • I had a crazy dream…I must be pregnant!

However, on day 13, one day before the expected arrival of your period, you become convinced more than ever as a new symptom emerges. What is this latest and greatest symptom? Hiccups! That’s right. For the past three days, you have been randomly hiccuping throughout the day. The first day you didn’t think anything of it. However, by the second day, you took a little more notice, and today, well, you are 99.999 percent convinced that this must be an early sign of pregnancy. So what do you do? Duh! You do what you did with all of the other signs and symptoms! You page Doctor Google and ask in every possible form of a sentence, “hiccups an early sign of pregnancy,” and low and behold, what does the trusted doctor of the trying to conceive community say? YOU MUST BE PREGNANT!

So with all of these amazing signs and symptoms of an impending bun in the oven, can you imagine not even getting a squinter on a pregnancy test the next day? Me either! But it happened. Go figure.

funny monkey

Thank you for stopping by and reading this edition of “Laughing Your Way through Infertility.” As always, I hope you have a great week, and don’t forget to find time to laugh and enjoy the journey while you are on the path to reaching your destination.

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63 thoughts on “I Must Be Pregnant Because…”

    1. Lol!! I can’t help but always notice my cats behavior and think they must know something I don’t know. 🙂

      1. I really do think it is true. Even though I wasn’t pregnant that time, my cat has definitely been more loving toward me since I’ve been pregnant. She’s usually very stand-offish. And she’s all about anything baby right now, laying on top of anything that we bring home for Baby. I totally think animals have some sort of intuition!!

  1. Haha! This is funny, don’t we all Symptom spot, even when we promise we wouldn’t? I will say those, the first thing that happened to me all 3 times, coffee aversion, so that one has proven to be true for me. At least those times. I always ask the DH, Baby, what do you think, do you think this really could be our month, he always says yes and I believe him up until AF shows. If my husband says this is our month, then I MUST BE PREGNANT! Whomp Whomp, we’re always wrong. 2dpo(ish) and now I really want a hamburger, thanks Elisha….. 😉

  2. As usual, hilarious! I wanted to eat Oreos all the time, and thought I might as well gain weight in the process, since being pregnant would lead to weight gain anyway. HA. Now I’m trying to get rid of the Oreo pounds. 🙁

    1. oh that’s a good one!! I stinkin’ love oreos and now I am craving them :/ I hope you have a great week!! xo

    1. oh no you are not alone! I could have kept going with all the crazy symptoms but I figured I had listed enough 🙂

  3. We’ve all done it! I would add “I didn’t want my morning coffee”, because I’m such an addict–this one threw me for a loop on a couple BFN’s! XOXO

  4. Oh how I wish hair falling out was a sign of pregnancy!! I would be pregnant all of the time! haha HUGS!

      1. I do have our little foster child that keeps me rolling with the comments she makes but for some reason I never can remember them at the end of the day. LOL! You should hear me try to retell a story from earlier that day to my husband…it always flops. haha

      2. Girl, keep your phone on you and make videos!! That would be awesome! I didn’t realize you had another one… last one I saw was Goldilocks…

      3. The one I have is Goldilocks. We only do one at a time…that’s about all I can handle right now. LOL! Children in foster care require so many appointments and visits by caseworkers :/

      4. ahhhhh…. for some reason I thought Goldilocks wasn’t in your house anymore…I think I assumed it when i read your post about how she was special… it’s been a while… Glad to know she’s with you!! 🙂 What are the chances you’ll be able to adopt her?

      5. oh we don’t foster to adopt. In fact, we were participating in the Safe Families for Children Program which is a voluntary program in which the parents volunteer to place their children with volunteer host parents so that they can either find stable housing, get a job, etc. However, it ended up being a neglect situation so we are being forced to become licensed foster parents so that she doesn’t have to move into another foster home. We have kept her since January and we don’t want her to have to start over somewhere else. Her mom is currently working on her case plan in order to get her and her siblings back. She has a brother and sister (ages 7 and 6) who live with other people as well. It would be best if adoption did become an option that they be adopted together. That’s not something I am interested in. The other two are kind of a handful.

      6. Oh my God! You are an amazing human being!!! In case no one gas told you yet… You truly deserve all your dreams to come true Elisha! I like to think that im a good person and i would love to help and foster but i dont think i could do it with these circumstances… You are an inspiration and i hope there are more if “you” in the world!!

      7. oh wowzas! You are too sweet! We got her in January and was told it was for 30 days…then they called and asked us to keep her for another 30 days…and then that turned into keeping her until August…and now we are asked to keep her for possibly another 6 months. I yi yi! It’s a good thing she is cute. lol!

      8. I just have to stay in babysitter mode…which is actually exhausting mentally and emotionally but I’m hanging in there. I think it helps out too that she is starting to become a little more “sassy.” If ya know what I mean. She seems to think she is the boss half the time. LOL!

  5. hahahha! What a great list! Gah if only the hiccup thing was true, I never get the hiccups and I had them twice this weekend LOL. I do definitely get the coffee aversion because I LOVE my coffee and with both my pregnancies I couldn’t drink it (God’s little way of removing my temptation for caffeine)! Ahhh… ONE day we are going to get these for REAL! <3

      1. haha. I’ve decided no more testing until I really am sick! I’m trying so hard this next cycle not to think of anything as a sign because I don’t want to be disappointed!

  6. I have seen so many of these on the ttc support site that I am on. A lot of the times it’s women newly ttc that are convinced that they are pregnant because “they woke up in the middle of the night to pee, can’t stand the color red or passed gas twice today” I so badly want to say something, but I know it will come out sounding mean.

    1. bahaha! That’s hilarious. Just copy and paste this link in the forum and maybe they will get the hint…? hehe

  7. Ok – too funny! I’m not sure how you find the pictures or the videos, but nice work!!!!! So thankful for your sense of humor in the midst of the trial 🙂

    1. it is a full time job searching the internet for these pictures. I will say that trying to find a picture for the last Monday Funnies that were all about breasts was a bit challenging. LOL!

  8. I don’t think my comment went through so I am trying again. I love this series! It’s my favorite and makes me laugh. 🙂 Thanks for sharing!

    1. So glad you like it Jessi! Each week I kinda stress about what to post for the funnies but for some reason at the last second something humorous always pops into my head! LOL! If you have any suggestions for future posts, let me know. I’m not sure how much longer my creative juices will keep flowing. LOL! xo

  9. I went through my TWW with sore boobs and the peeing. Although the from my big fat negative I now know these were all medicine induced. 🙁 Idk how you stay so positive. This is hard. 👎 I hope to one day be as strong as you. 🙏

    1. Oh MIsty! You have no idea how much of an ugly cry I had on Sunday! It was the first one I have had in a long time but it lasted for HOURS! I wrote a blog about it, but I’m almost too scared to publish this one. It might be too transparent. But maybe I need too in order to show that we all have those moments? Whatcha think?

      On a non TTC note…do you run the merle norman store in FF? Do you sell jeans there? I thought I saw on instagram where you posted a pic of silver jeans…

  10. Lol love it! So Funny! But at the same time not so funny 🙁 But I knew you couldn’t leave constipation out lol. (Or atleasy something about your bm being a little different :D) I love your posts! Keep em comin! In the meantime me, dallas and Izy are praying for Josiah 😀

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