Dear Waiting for Baby Bird,
Do you think seeking medical intervention to try to conceive (Metformin, Clomid, or even searching for the right cocktail of supplements) is something that women of faith should do? I am torn and often wonder if by me doing these things than I am saying that I am putting my faith in medicine and not in God. What are your thoughts?
Dear Feeling Torn,
I am so sorry that you are going through this. If infertility isn’t stressful and challenging enough, trying to do what we believe is right and obey the Lord can get confusing and even messy. Sometimes we don’t know if we should go right or left. Take that medication, or seek that treatment option. I do not believe it is wrong, however, it can become wrong if it becomes an idol or where you place your hope and trust. I remember many years ago, after my husband and I got pregnant through IVF, we lost that baby. I was devastated. I was so naïve and never in my wildest dreams thought that it wouldn’t work, let alone have a miscarriage. But there I was, empty and broken. I had already tried metformin, timed intercourse with injections, and every cocktail of supplements guaranteed to get me pregnant by that point, so when I heard the Lord tell me to stop seeking medical intervention after our loss, I froze.
My heart sank.
I felt punched in the gut.
And so, I asked again. Lord, are you sure? I was praying to Him for direction. I was seeking Him about our next steps and asking for His blessing over my intended plan. I was most certain it would be to do another egg retrieval and transfer; I just needed Him to tell me when to begin again. Therefore, to hear in my heart to stop pursuing this route seemed out of the question. I even reminded Him what the doctors had told me regarding natural conception…it’s highly unlikely. Needless to say, fear gripped me. It felt like time stood still. I thought this was God’s way of telling me children were not in my future because how could it happen without the treatments and the medication? I was devastated by this thought. But it was with this thought that it was revealed to me what was hiding in my heart. I put more faith in doctors and their medicine rather than in the Almighty God who knows my body best.
I couldn’t see how it would ever work without medical intervention.
And I had lost sight of my Waymaker, Miracle Worker, and Promise Keeper.
Psalm 118:8 says, “It is better to trust in the Lord than in man.” It was obvious by my reaction that my trust was not in Him but in them.
Since that day when the depths of my heart were made known to me, I always ask myself before I start a new medication, explore a new supplement, or even change my diet this question: Am I doing this because I feel that it is my only hope, or because God is leading me? Can I do x, y, or z, and if it fails, still remain hopeful because my hope was not in that method but in the Person of Jesus? Sweet friend, He is our hope. He is our Great Physician. Does this mean I can’t or won’t get disappointed if x, y, or z doesn’t work? Of course, I will. I’m human. And I have expectations. But I know that because the Lord is still on the throne, and I know His voice, and what He has spoken to my heart, my story isn’t over.
As I mentioned earlier, infertility is hard to navigate, and it’s hard to know which direction to go. In the end, do the best that you can and remember to ask yourself those same questions I ask myself…
- Am I doing this because I feel like it is my only hope, or is God leading me?
- If I do x, y, or z and it doesn’t work out, will I still trust Him? Will I still be hopeful? Or is my trust and hope attached to my circumstance?
Asking both of these questions will help reveal what is deep inside your heart and potentially lead you on the right path. But, please, also know this, if you sincerely seek God for direction and go left because that is what you thought you heard, yet needed to go right instead, understand that God will not leave you. He won’t abandon you, nor forsake you. Sarah and Abraham rushed God’s timeline and even took matters into their own hands, but God still held them close because they, too, remained close. Always remain close to Him. He is good. And He is faithful.
To go back to my original decision to not pursue another cycle with IVF, as it turns out my eggs are very poor quality, therefore, if I would have kept going without solving the issue first, I would have had a higher rate of continued miscarriages. I didn’t see it then, but I see it now. God was protecting me.
Please know that I’m praying for you, and I’m always here with listening ears.
With all my love,
Disclosure: To anyone reading this and feeling like I am against treatments, medications, supplements, etc., that is not the case. At all. I am simply against pursuing avenues, whether that involves growing your family, moving to another town, or switching jobs, without first consulting with God and doing a heart check. God has many different paths and directions to lead each of His children to the fulfilling of the desires He has placed in our hearts. He might say “no” or “wait” now because He has a greater “yes” later. The key is simply staying in communication with Him.
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