Most days I think I’m doing okay with this whole infertility thing. I have my grief under control, my bitterness in check, my doubts erased, and my plans surrendered on the when and the how. But then there are days when it hits me like a freight train and all it takes is walking past the display of “Baby’s First Christmas” outfits to make me crumble. Or seeing photos on Facebook of my best friend’s three kids sitting on Santa’s lap to make me ugly cry for hours…may be off and on for days.
The Christmas season can be hard. And if I am not careful, if I dwell too long on my shattered plans and unanswered prayers, I will sink below the weight of them. So, what do I do when my soul feels crushed and my heart is heavy? I remember Hope.
However, not the feeling of hope.
Or the wishful thinking kind.
But rather the Person of Hope.
Because Christmas isn’t about Santa, the children, or the stockings and tinsel. It’s not about the cookies, the gifts, or the family gathered around well-lit trees; although that’s what we have made it out to be. We get our hearts and our minds so fixated on all that Christmas isn’t, that it causes our hearts to ache. But what if we spent time focused on all that Christmas is, which is God’s love, grace, and miracle working power? I believe that if we did, then Christmas wouldn’t be a time that causes our souls to ache as much, but rather rejoice in hope for all that is.
Just think about it.
We have the virgin, Mary. She reminds us that conditions do not need to be perfect for a miracle to take place. But we think they do. We believe the lie that if our body isn’t ovulating, our husband’s sperm isn’t swimming right, we have suffered too many losses, or the bank account is empty, then it’s over.
But that’s far from Truth.
In fact, we read in Psalm 81:16 how God declares that He can give honey from a rock. This verse always grips my heart with hope because it’s clear that He doesn’t need a bee, or pollen, or anything else one would need to make honey. If honey is what you need and all you have is a rock, then a rock will do. What does this mean for you?
It means this: Even if you don’t ovulate…even if your husband doesn’t have any sperm…even if your insurance doesn’t cover it…even if all you have is a tiny mustard seed of faith…EVEN IF, there is still an EVEN NOW God at work in your life. He is the master orchestrator of defying all human reasoning and logic. After all, He also healed a blind man with just His spit.
But, it’s not just Mary who gives me hope, it’s also Joseph. He was faced with a difficult choice after discovering Mary was pregnant and that was to either divorce her or have her stoned. But God showed up in a dream and gave him a third option: marry her. You see, when the world told him to give up, Hope whispered there’s more. And that’s the thing when we think we are out of options, and out of possibilities, God shows up. He is never limitless. And His hand is never too short. Usually, we stop with those characters in the Christmas story. However, there is King Herold. He tried to kill Jesus when he demanded every boy under the age of two be murdered. But he didn’t succeed. Do you know what that reminds me? Anything the enemy will plot against you or me, can’t thwart God’s plans.
This means your diagnosis can’t thwart His plans. Your lack of money can’t thwart his plans. Your husband’s lack of sperm can’t stop Him either. Friend, if there was one message that I would want you to always remember as you not only go through this holiday season but through every season of life, it is this: Don’t lose hope.
But if you already have, let Hope whisper to you one more time.
Let Him remind you that you’re not at the end of your rope without any options left.
Or at the end of your bank account like the enemy wants you to believe.
It’s not the end of your deep desire to carry life within your womb due to your age or the conditions of your body. It’s not the end.
Let’s strip away everything this holiday season that doesn’t matter and focus on Christmas in its purest form: The birth of Hope.
Hope for a better tomorrow.
Hope for healing.
Hope for dreams fulfilled & prayers answered.
Hope for restoration and redemption.
Hope that the plans He has for our lives far exceed the circumstances of our day…our month…or our year.
Let’s hold onto hope.
Also, let’s pursue it. Because in the Christmas story, we also know the wise men traveled thousands of miles to see Jesus. When they finally found Him, they responded with joy, worship, and gifts. This is so different than the approach we often take today. We expect Jesus to come looking for us; to explain Himself and give gifts; which He does all of those things. He is a giver. But those who are wise will seek and worship Him first; not for what they can get, but for who He is.
Let’s be wise.
Let’s not get so caught up in all that the season isn’t, that we forget all that it is.
The birth of Hope.
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2 thoughts on “Infertility and the Holidays: The Birth of Hope”
This is a beautiful post and just what I needed to read today 🙂 Thank you
I am so, so thankful this encouraged your heart.
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