Waiting for Baby Bird

Infertility Chronicles Part 2: To Be Continued…

If you have not read Shirt Packed and Big Girl Panties On,” I suggest it first.


This morning I woke up, and my stomach was in knots. Today was the day in which I would track down the “mystery woman” and ask her to pray for me all because of a man named “Bob.” I Yi, Yi!  While showering, I began imagining how tragic this conversation would be…

Me: Hi! (Que sweating and stuttering) You don’t know me and I don’t know you BUT a man named “Bob” stopped me outside of Wal-Mart on Friday and informed me that the Holy Spirit wants you to pray for me. (BIG cheestastic smile)

(Insert awkward silence)

Mystery woman: Okay…ummm…why?

Me: Why? Because the Holy Spirit said you needed to. (Another BIG cheesetastic smile)

Mystery woman: No, what I mean is, why do I need to pray for you…?

Me: Oh! I need you to pray for me because I am struggling to conceive and I heard you once also struggled…? So can you pray for me and my stubborn ovaries?

Mystery woman: (gives blank stare)

Me: (looks around as everyone else stares, start sweating more, knees begin to buckle, and my smile disappearing)

While putting on my makeup, I began to get nervous and sweat, just thinking about how silly I would look and how awkward this was going to be. But, I was more scared and nervous about what would happen if I chickened out and didn’t obey the voice of God. So, with my big girl panties pulled up to my chin, along with an extra shirt in hand, and a double dose of my husband’s deodorant, I was out the door and on my way to do one of the boldest things I have ever done…randomly ask a stranger to pray for my stubborn ovaries and empty uterus…

You see, on Saturday, I learned through a friend “the mystery” woman’s name, as well as what she looked like, and that she was scheduled to be a door greeter at our church. Thinking it would be easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy to locate her, I was wrong. Because when I arrived for worship, all psyched up, I couldn’t find anyone that met the description of a tall, dark-haired, younger woman. All I could find were older women with shorter, much greyer lighter-colored hair. UGH! But I’m not giving up. I’m not going to let this be an excuse for why I shouldn’t continue my pursuit. I believe that God will use this extra time to prepare her heart, and I trust that when I confidently do walk up to her, the Holy Spirit will have already prepared her for the “tap, tap”  that I will give her on the shoulder.

Sweet friend, I am ready for round two! I have my big girl panties washed, dried, and ready to be put back on next Sunday.

To be continued…

big girl panties 3


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46 thoughts on “Infertility Chronicles Part 2: To Be Continued…”

  1. I was thinking when I read your last post it probably wasn’t easy for ‘Bob’ to go out on a limb to talk to you either. 🙂 So I’m really glad you’re giving it a shot, even though it seems strange!
    God is amazing. I love reading about how He’s working in your life.

  2. I was struck by the thought— or the holy spirit… why wait for a week…call her, email…prayers dont have to be in person. ( I pray for you here in champaign, I’ll)…. just saying pray about it. 🙂

    1. I tried to find her on facebook but couldn’t and I want to talk to her in person. I hate phone calls…I need to see body language, etc.

  3. I prayed for you and thought about you in church today and so ironically the topic during today’s message was the Holy Spirit and how he works in us and those around us. The pastor shared Micah 6:8 and sharing how God wants us to love justly, love mercy and walk humbly. Your story and experience seems to be singing to me in this verse to me and the granny panties had me cracking up- laughed so loud my husband wondered what on earth? Then I shared how you, (someone I’ve never met) have had such an impact on my life and on the lowest days of my life during the “journey” your humor and honesty has been such a blessing. Fingers crossed for you this week!

    1. awe girl you are so amazingly sweet! I’m glad that God is using my crappy situation for your good and His glory! The devil is trying to ruin me through his evil schemes of infertility and PCOS but God is redeeming every step of the way. He is doing the same for you! xo He will never leave us in this state. He loves us too much! We must hold on to our hope and never lose our faith that even though things look crappy now, they won’t in the end. He isn’t finished with our stories just yet 🙂

      1. There has to be a reason you and I and so many couples have to suffer with infertility- and loss- the journey is long and hard but finding moments at least makes that moment a little easier. We have to keep the faith that God has a plan ❤️

  4. Oh, no!! So sorry you didn’t connect today…but you will. I just know it. 🙂 God may even let it happen at a time other than in church, ya’ know? He is not limited. He is not boxed in to this having to happen on a particular day of the week in a particular setting. He might just choose to do something totally unexpected. He is great like that. Will be waiting anxiously to hear of how it all unfolds. 🙂

    1. Thanks girl! Something within me tells me that this is God testing me…to see if I will just simply obey no matter how crazy, foolish or awk\ward it is.

  5. Maybe god is waiting just until you’re really ready, increasing your faith that this big awkward step will be rewarded. Increase your expectation friend, because god is all powerful. Maybe this lady has been waiting for you for a long time xx

  6. Good you got information. I wouldn’t worry about blank and embarrassing looks. If she’s gone through infertility she’ll surely feel for you in no time. Looking forward to hearing how it goes next week. Good luck! xx

  7. Just got caught up! I think my hands were sweating reading your last entry! Can’t wait to hear the follow up to this! I know it’s going to be amazing! You are so loved, Butternut!:-)

  8. Can’t wait to read the update lol you had me literally laughing out loud when you said you pulled your big girl panties up to your chin 😂😂😂 day made thank you lolol

  9. You are too funny/cute with your references to your big girl panties and your husband’s deodorant. Looking forward to hearing how it all goes 🙂

  10. Was thinking of and praying for you on Sunday. I’m so happy you found out what she looks like! No excuses now 🙂 Haha!

  11. I was wondering if you ever found her. I’d feel the same way as you! Be brave…maybe she loves to share her story with others. My mom always says there is power in being prayed for by someone who received the kind of healing that you need. Hopefully you’ll find her next week, or maybe you could get her name and number and contact her outside of church?

  12. I was wondering if you ever found her. I’d feel the same way as you! Be brave…maybe she loves to share her story with others. My mom always says there is power in being prayed for by someone who received the kind of healing that you need. Hopefully you’ll find her next week, or maybe you could get her name and number and contact her outside of church?

    1. Thanks sugars!!! I’m ready to get this over with and see what all God has in store and what will come from all of this crazyness! lol

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