My name is Elena and my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for 7 years and during that time, we endured three miscarriages along with numerous doctors stating there was no medical explanation. I don’t know about you, but when something can’t be explained medically, it makes my brain hurt and forced me to rely more on my faith in the Lord and His work in me. After a lot of encouraging words, heartfelt and heart seeking prayers from myself and other spiritual leaders, I realized that the root of not getting pregnant, for me, was fear. The kind of fear that likes to disguise itself as the all too familiar survival mentality of “just in case it doesn’t happen”.
However, in November 2012, I attended a Women’s Conference in which a speaker, Lee Grady, said he felt he needed to pray for someone in the audience who had not been able to have children and who has also had several miscarriages. Immediately, I knew it was for me and it was my time for deliverance. Not only did the Lord use Lee Grady to command the fear that had a grip over my womb to be loosed, but the Lord also used him to encourage life into that portion of my heart and spirit that had been sickened by deferred hope. Now I am honored to introduce you to our 7 month old little girl, Miss Isabel. She is God’s promise fulfilled.
While unable to sleep last night, I kept thinking about the testimony of this woman and her fear that was disguised as the survival mentality of “just in case it doesn’t happen.” I couldn’t help but wonder if I had any fears…
Do I fear never conceiving? No.
Do I fear a miscarriage? No.
Do I fear a stillbirth? No.
Do I fear not having a healthy pregnancy? No.
Do I fear having to wait until I am forty for my baby bird? No.
Do I fear having only one child? No
Fearless, right? While slowly drifting off to sleep, my eyes quickly popped open as I heard the Holy Spirit ask me this question…Do you fear being wrong and there is no promise of a “Josiah”?
The answer: Yes.
I often fear going in for an ultrasound and hearing the nurse tell me it is a Josefina and not a Josiah.
I often fear I will cause embarrassment to those who are supporting and encouraging me.
I often fear of being wrong and causing the faith of those around me to crumble.
I often fear and do not share my testimony with others because “what if it doesn’t happen”.
Ninety percent of the time I am fully confident of what I heard from the Lord on May 20, 2012; but then there are moments, even days, in which I start to doubt and become fearful instead of fearless.
It’s a nasty four letter word. It’s nasty because it’s used by the devil to paralyze us with anxiety, steal our peace, kill our hope, and ultimately hold us back. It will hold us back from having confidence “just in case it doesn’t happen”. It will hold us back from sharing our testimony with others “just in case it doesn’t happen”. It will hold us back from having hope “just in case it doesn’t happen.” It will hold us back from walking in faith “just in case it doesn’t happen” and ultimately because of our fear, it is what will hold us back from receiving all of God’s blessings. Why?
What is it you fear? Maybe you fear God will not fulfill the desires He has placed in your heart? Maybe you fear another miscarriage? Maybe you fear you will never conceive naturally? Maybe you fear your next treatment cycle will fail? Maybe you fear of having complications in your pregnancy? Maybe you fear you are being punished? Maybe you fear you will have to work hard in order to earn the blessings of God? Maybe you fear to hope “just in case it doesn’t happen”?
Whatever it is you fear, let it go because fear is never from the Lord. It is only from the devil in order to make you miserable and hold you back in life. Therefore, refuse to entertain the thoughts of “just in case it doesn’t happen” and instead, replace it with faith that despite what you see, feel, or think, you will choose to have hope and believe.
Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots to the stream. It does not fear when heat comes, it has no worries in a year of drought and it never fails to bear fruit. Jeremiah 17:7-8
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