A few things you should know about me: I love the details. I’m the one who likes to get in the trenches, make a plan, organize, and ensure everything is just right. I’ve always felt comfortable in control—especially when something needs fixing. It feels good to have a plan, know what’s next, and ensure things happen as they should. But here’s the catch: When the need for control leaves me drained, stressed, and snapping at others, it’s a clear sign that something isn’t working as I thought it would.
(Insert long sigh…)
As overwhelming as the stress is, letting go feels even more overwhelming. The thought of stepping back from it all—relinquishing control—scares me more than the chaos. Have you ever been there? Are you there right now? If so, I want to share something deeply personal with you.
I’ll never forget the day God asked me to let go of my tight grip on my infertility struggle. It felt like I was being strapped into the front seat of a rollercoaster, staring down a steep drop. My stomach dropped into my shoes; my mind raced with fear, doubt, and worry. I wasn’t ready. What if letting go meant losing my dream forever? What if my wait for motherhood got even longer because I wasn’t “doing” enough?
I trusted God in many areas of my life—my health, family, finances—but could I trust Him with my dream of becoming a mother?
I knew, deep down, that I needed to.
So, with a heart full of fear and a shaky soul, I let go.
I wish I could tell you that once I surrendered, everything miraculously fell into place, that my story instantly transformed into a fairy tale. But it doesn’t always work that way.
You’ve probably heard stories like that—of someone who surrenders, and suddenly, their dream comes true. Maybe you’ve even heard about someone who struggled for years with infertility, but once they let go, they conceived.
But the truth is this: while my story doesn’t have a neat ending yet, surrendering has been the most freeing decision I’ve made in this struggle. Yes, the rollercoaster is still wild, and I still don’t know how or when my dream of motherhood will come. But here’s what I’ve learned: I’ve found peace in releasing my need to control. My life—and my heart—are mine again.
I no longer clutch my dreams with clenched fists. Instead, I hold them open, giving them to God, trusting He knows better than I do. And even though the future is uncertain, I’m experiencing a new kind of freedom I never thought possible.
I can’t control how or when my dream will unfold, but I’ve learned that peace comes when I trust God with the details.
So, my friend, I ask you now: What do you need to surrender?
And I’m not talking about giving up on your dreams. Surrender isn’t about quitting; it’s about releasing control and trusting that God’s plan for you is far greater than anything you could orchestrate.
I know it’s not easy. It takes courage. It takes faith. It means saying yes to God’s tough questions: Will you trust Me with this? Will you surrender your idea of “best” for My best? Will you let go of your perfect timing for My perfect timing?
But here’s the beautiful part: When you let go, you’re no longer bound by the need to control. You’ll find a peace that surpasses understanding, even amid the uncertainty. The freedom in surrender is like nothing else.
So, as you sit on that rollercoaster, staring at the unknown, remember: you’re not alone. Trust that God has you. He is faithful and with you every step of the way.
“O LORD, I give my life to you.” Psalm 25:1 (NLT)
You’re pictures kill me! I love them! You are a hoot Elisha! Besides the pictures, this post really spoke to me. You are so so brave to let go and venture into the unknown. In my head I know God can and does perform miracles without any help from me, I know I can’t fail if I am trusting completely in God, but I feel torn sometimes not knowing what pleases Him and maybe I’m putting too much faith in the doctors or procedures, etc. I have found that there are many times where I feel its in His plan to pursue a certain option and when it doesn’t turn out like I envisioned, I start to question whether I truly was on the right path (if that makes sense) For me, right now its difficult to determine if failure means “no” or failure means “keep persevering in this way.” Thank you for the encouragement friend! Lots of Love to you!
oh yes I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I actually was talking to someone several months ago about this and she simply looked at me and said, “God is not a God of confusion.” She was referring to 1 Cor 14:33. I went home and chewed on that one for a bit. I realized that if I am confused…then my brain, my intellect is getting in the way too much. God never wants us to be confused about His path or plans. He wants us to always be at peace. Therefore from that point on, if I have doubts, confusion, no peace about something, I don’t do anything. I wait and continue praying until I have 100% peace about whatever it is I was first confused about.
I love the story in Matthew 8:5-13 when the Roman Centurion demonstrated such great faith. Even Jesus was astonished of his belief and as a result, his servant was healed that very hour. I tell you this story because I believe that yes God could bring children into our lives though medical science, but I also believe that if you choose to not seek medical science, He will see your “great faith” and reward by granting your request as well (in His timing of course). I seriously doubt if you put all your chips in just waiting and doing nothing medically because you are trusting God that He won’t bless you. He won’t look down on you and see your faith and not reward you for you it. Make sense? Like I said, everyone’s journey is different and everyone’s ability to believe through faith is different and God will always meet us where we are at. Thank goodness! 🙂
I don’t know ANYONE else who is a control freak…*shuffles feet nervously.*
bahaha!! It’s a wonderful thing my hubby isn’t.
I love your story and I love that you were able to let go completely! I truly think he has something amazing in store for you!!
oh girl that’s what I’m hoping for. There is no getting off this ride now until it makes a stop.
I hear your pain, and need for control as they are my issues. I also know God is real and that he allows us to be real in our pain. We are not to wallow in the pain but obey and move on… acknowledge it as real-even our Lord on the cross cried out Why hast thou forsaken me… and Jesus followed through with what was asked of him…
My goodness, reading that was like reading a part of my life. Mega control freak over here and letting go was so hard to do. Choosing to not date and just focus on raising my son, and choosing to be celibate the past 10 years has been difficult. especially when everyone keeps directing me to christian dating sites, telling me I should put myself out there. I have to remind myself that when I pray It’s not about my will but his. It’s about his timing and being still in his presence. Which is so hard to do these days 🙂
Thank you sharing this and for reminding me that he is in control, better things are waiting at the end of this turbulent ride! God bless 🙂
oh yes there are!! It’s so hard to give up control but it’s always for the best. Who better to control our lives than the one who holds the whole universe in by His word? xoxo
Amen!
Letting go really is the HARDEST thing to do. It shouldn’t be since we “know” that God’s plans are so much bigger and better than ours. What a blessing that you’ve learned – and continue to learn – to give it all to the Lord!
It is the hardest thing to do, yet the best thing…I don’t know why we make it so difficult. Our flesh always wants to just take over :/
Oh, my. Did I ever need this today. Thank you.
I’m glad mine helped you because yours helped me 🙂 hehe!
Elisha…..you are a treasure! What a blessing to sooooo many!!!!
awe thanks Tara! I love that word “treasure” wink, wink 😉
Loved this post. Thanks for sharing. It’s true that we need to just let go and trust God for the outcome. And when we know that God really, truly only wants the absolute best for us, it is so much easier to let go.
Thank you for reading 🙂 My problem often is not so much the letting go as much as it the “taking it back”… :/
Preach it sister!! 😀
None of this sounded familiar though … Well … Ok, maybe the control freak part, but only maybe 😉
Jokes … It was like you were in my head! God is so good, that when we get vulnerable, we allow others the opportunity to grow, as well as ourselves. I love that about God!!
Let’s learn to walk in honesty and transparency, and perhaps He has growth and more of Him for all of us??!!
Thanks for starting the trend.
Need to go let go of some stuff right now … And not be His assistant any longer!! Whoops, sorry God, I really thought, in my arrogance and pride, I thought I could do it a better job than you 🙁
Bless you for encouraging us all with this blog.
Awesome post. I’m dealing with this right now in my life as we are in a place of decision making. I’m a control freak and I hate change. I like to be in control of everything and like to see everything planned out accordingly. I feel like God is putting me into a place that’s quite uncomfortable and asking me to do the same thing – to trust Him. It’s easy to say and to throw the phrase around, “Yeah I trust God.” But to live in complete surrender to Him is beautiful yet terrifying. More and more I feel He is calling me to let go and trust Him, your post is confirmation of that. Thanks!
Oh I am so glad it has helped you out 🙂 We can never go wrong when we throw our hands up in the air and say, “God, I trust you!” HE will always, always take good care of us when our trust, faith, and hope is in Him. 🙂 xo
“Let go” something I have been struggling with, marriage generally, and now infertility, Lord I receive grace to let go all around me that I can’t control and choosing now to trust you in Jesus name, amen. I forgive my hubby for every hurt ,and I find grace for a renewed peace of heart and mind. Thank you
Amen! Standing in agreement with you and praying over you, your marriage, and your womb right now! May God restore, redeem and make whole so that you may continue to tell of His faithfulness and give Him complete glory for alllll that He has done in you and for you! Amen!
This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with all of us! btw… the pics totally made me smile!
After I was done writing it, I told the hubby the pics were the best part. LOL!!! They had me laughing every time I saw the mom and the daughter. bahahahahaha!!
I don’t know how to completely let go. I am always striving to do the most, the best I can to help reach my vision, and see myself working in tandem with God, with Source, to move toward baby. But you are describing something else—letting go of control *totally*. I just don’t know how. Is it really possible?
yes it’s possible but I am learning that it is a minute by minute decision because my flesh is always screaming to do something. I guess I should say it’s not easy, possible. 🙂
That’s a good reminder…minute by minute…ohhhh that sounds hard (:
girl you have no idea! LOL!! It’s easier than when i first took the sudden drop but still not easy peasy lemon squeezy
Letting go is a big part of finding peace in this journey. The day my prayers changed from “God please give me a baby. Please let me be pregnant. Please let this work.” to “God please show me the path you have for my life. Uncover it for me so that I may live as you designed for me.” I felt so much less pain, hurt and sadness. However, I disagree that making plans for next steps isn’t relinquishing control to Him. But I love having these kind of healthy debates and reading your posts. 😉
What I am talking about is when i was making plans for my next steps when I knew He was telling me specifically to wait…to be still…and to not do anything. That is why I put at the bottom of my post that everyone’s “surrender” is going to look different. For me, my surrender was letting it all go because that is what He was asking of me. The steps I was doing and taking were not part of His plans and steps for my life and I needed to stop my plans and surrender to His plans. Does that make sense? hehe
I thought for sure you were just writing about me! HAHA, This sounds exactly like me. Control, organized, brain running a million miles an hour at night with things I would love to control or fix! Surrender is always a tricky subject, and like you said it looks different for each person. The huge problem with some believers is that what God has asked of them, they automatically think that’s what He’s wanting from everyone. I’ve been told countless times that I am not doing it right, or surrendered enough. I wanna shake my fist. God will tell me when it’s time to stop or start something new. The pressure to ‘change’ is huge. I am glad you pointed that out 🙂 Being in complete surrender is a second by second, minute by minute decision, and we are fighting our flesh constantly. Love you, girl! Great post!! xox
Yes He asks us all to do different things. I also think He asks us to surrender things at different times and stages of our lives. He knows how human we are and He is very gentle when stripping us away of ourselves and He takes His time with us. I love that about Him. Have a great weekend girlie!!!!
I don’t know how I missed this post! Thanks for sharing, and I wanted to let you know that you’ve encouraged and blessed me as I read it. It’s so much easier to go through something if you know someone else is also, and doing it so well. Thanks for letting God use you as His tool to demonstrate faithfulness and trust. Also, the pictures are awesome. I’m especially loving the little girl on the slide.
I am so glad you were encouraged by the post! I had so much fun trying to find pictures!! Have a great week. I’m heading over to read your new post as well.