I’ve got a story to share with you…
On Friday morning, August 16th, Dan and I packed our suitcases, loaded the van with road trip snacks, and drove six hours to Table Rock Lake in Missouri to celebrate 18 years of marriage. If you’ve never been, I highly encourage you to go. It was our first time, and it was just the perfect location for a four-day excursion.
On Saturday, we rented a luxury pontoon boat and explored the lake, stopping to rope swing, cliff jump, and float on the water. But it was on the way back to Kimberling Port to drop off our rental boat that my mind began to spin.
You know how it is.
You’re going along in life, doing the routine, having fun, laughing, and then it hits you. You realize you’ll be 41 in a few weeks, and it’s been 18 years of marriage, and you’re still waiting for desires to be met and promises to come to pass. Desires and promises that you were SURE would have happened by now. So, with the reflection of the sun hitting the water, I began to reflect on my life. It’s not too often that I question God’s timing. I wonder if it’s maturity in my Christian walk or if I’ve found it pointless. But while on our way back, I couldn’t help but question. Not so much His timing, but if I heard Him.
I can say the name Josiah; many of you will know his significance in my life. For others, you’re lost, so I’ll give you the short version.
It was in May 2012, after IVF ended in miscarriage, I was asking God for our next steps, and I heard Him tell me to step back from treatments. Immediately, my chest began to tighten, and fear took over because, medically speaking, that was my only way to conceive. I took this to mean that God didn’t want me to have a child half me and half Dan. I wasn’t ready to concede or give up trying. But as I felt like an elephant had sat on my chest, constricting my breathing, I heard within my spirit to not fear because I would have a son and to name him Josiah, which I later learned means Jehovah healed.
As anyone would assume, I thought this meant I would be healed and pregnant within the next month or the following year, maybe two at the latest. But it’s been 12 years since that Sunday and 11 since God confirmed it through a woman whom I didn’t know, and she didn’t know me. (You can read about it here.) But as I sat on the back of the boat, watching the wake from our motor, I asked God for confirmation once more. It’s normal and natural to question, especially after years of nothing.
When I asked, I saw a rainbow in the water made from the waves. Typically, I don’t notice rainbows; when I do, I never see them as a sign or a God wink, but I did this one. Within my spirit, I felt God confirming His promise to me with the symbol of a promise. I got out my phone to take a picture, but it was gone. Instantly, I felt like it was a fluke. I concluded that the water waves caused a random rainbow as we raced to the boat dock before our rental time was up, and nothing more than that.
The quick disappearance of the rainbow didn’t steal my hope of the promise, but it also didn’t give me the confirmation my wondering mind needed. I realize we are taught to walk by faith, not sight, and especially not feelings, but I wanted to know.
Was the promise of Josiah real?
After all, I trust God to speak. But I don’t trust myself to always hear Him correctly.
The next day, we headed to downtown historic Branson to visit the antique shops and find treasures. Once inside our second store, I noticed a stack of Little Golden books that brought back memories of when I was a child and curled up on the couch, reading them.
As I flipped through, I noticed a book called “The Happy Man and His Dump Truck.” My heart skipped a beat when I saw it, and I wanted to buy it for our ever-growing children’s book collection. It’s not uncommon for us to find a book while on vacation and write in the front cover a note to our future Josiah on where we were and how we were thinking of him, even while on vacation.
But instead of grabbing it from the stack, I kept flipping, eventually turning to walk over to Dan, who was admiring a piece of junk someone else thought was a treasure. As we walked away from this antique booth, I pointed to the books on our way out and asked if he remembered them as a child. We flipped through the stack and talked about which books we loved and didn’t remember ever reading. I picked it up as we came to the one about the dump truck. It kept pulling at me, vying for my attention. As I flipped through it, looking to see if the pages were damaged, I was trying to decide if I should spend the $2.50. I know, it’s only $2.50, but when you are walking by faith and questioning if you really heard God, it feels more like $250. Therefore, as I was trying to decide what to do, I flipped to the inside cover and saw it! To: Josiah! I gasped!
The rainbow was nice, but this was better. This, I knew, was a God wink.
There are those within Christian circles who will tell you not to ask God for signs, and I agree to some extent because asking for a sign can be misleading if other factors are not considered. For example, a person asks for confirmation on a business venture that will compromise his integrity, or a family asks God for confirmation to buy a house way above their financial means.
We must be careful not to ask for confirmation while disobeying clear teachings of Scripture. Instead, we need to seek wisdom and study what Scripture has to say. So, when is it okay to ask for confirmation? Or, as I often call them, God winks?
I can think of three examples of God’s people asking for confirmation in scripture. The first is when Abraham sends out his servant to find a wife for his only son, Isaac. I teach this in our Sisterhood of Infertility Bible Study. The other example is Gideon, who put out a fleece. The last example is the disciple, Thomas, who needed Jesus to prove He was Jesus after being resurrected. Of course, all three of these examples didn’t have the Bible as their source of wisdom, so how can we apply asking God for confirmation today? Is it still biblical? And should we?
The answer is yes and yes, but you must be mindful of these six points below BEFORE and AFTER asking for confirmation or a God Wink…
- You’re genuinely seeking God’s will through prayer, fasting, and applying His Word rather than just looking for signs.
- You use wisdom and apply principles aligning with His Word, character, and nature. God will never speak, confirm, or promise you something that goes against who He is and what He has spoken in His word
- You’re prepared to obey regardless of the answer.
- You’re not double-minded, wishy-washy, and always looking for a “word” or a “sign.” For example, you don’t become someone who needs a new sign every day or a new confirmation every time doubt begins to chatter.
- You’re not asking for confirmation on things that oppose His Word.
- You’ll keep trusting God even if there is no answer.
Sweet friend, God loves speaking to, guiding, and encouraging us. Yes, He does so through His written word, but He also does it through books found in antique stores, a friend who sends us a “thinking of you” card, or a onesie we see on an endcap while shopping for milk and eggs. Therefore, don’t be afraid to ask. Instead, come to His throne room boldly and lay out your requests. Then, be on the lookout and open to how He speaks. What if I had ignored the nudge and blown past the books? Or gave into my fear and not even considered buying the book? I would’ve missed out.
Don’t you miss out.
With all my love,
Elisha, founder of Waiting for Baby Bird
P.S. Don’t forget to register for our FREE one-hour webinar on The Rollercoaster Emotions which will go LIVE on Thursday, August 29th at 7 pm CST. Can’t watch it LIVE or you missed the deadline? No worries! Catch the REPLAY.
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