Soul Food

When Your Healing Doesn’t Seem to Come

I sat on the edge of my bed taking my blood pressure and as I waited to see the numbers, I remember thinking to myself that if it is within normal range than I am finally healed of this symptom resulting from Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). However as the numbers appeared and I saw 160/92, I heard a whisper that said, “Not healed yet.”

Each morning when I would pluck 15 dark coarse hairs from my chin (so embarrassing to even type), I would hear the whispering voice say, “Not healed yet.” And as my menstrual cycle would go past 30 days…then 40 days…and even 50 days, I could hear that same voice quietly reminding me that my body? The one betraying me? Was simply not healed.

At least not yet.

It wasn’t until I looked in the mirror one day while wondering when I would be healed of this dreaded illness that consumes my entire being and robs me of my ability to grow my family, that I heard a different voice…a different whisper. This one said, “Daughter, by My Son’s wounds you ARE healed.” I laughed! If I am healed, then why do I still see the evidence of this devastating disease? Why do I still have high blood pressure, excess facial hair, insulin resistance, lack of ovulation and long cycles? Why am I constantly staring at one pink line, never two? I couldn’t possibly be healed!

At least…not yet…

It wasn’t too long after that morning, while in prayer that I realized the voice I had been listening to, the one telling me I wasn’t healed yet, was my adversary. Satan. The father of all lies feeding me the lie that my healing of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) was a work to be completed rather than already finished. Isaiah 53:5 says that by His wounds we ARE healed. It doesn’t say we might be…will be…could be…but ARE. God wants you and I to know that what we desperately need Him to do for us has already been done. Jesus’ finished work at the cross satisfied the Father’s heart.  And so from heaven’s throne came the pronouncement, “It is done!” in response to Jesus’ cry, “It is finished!” on earth.

Today, I no longer focus on what I see or feel, or the presence of contradicting reports. I now realize and remind myself that they are just lies from the enemy. And though they are real, very real, I know that they are temporal and not the Truth. God’s Word is Truth and when you and I start believing only what He says about our situations, then change begins to happen. I am living proof of this as I can testify that once I began believing and even declaring the Truth that by His stripes I am already healed, even though I had zero evidence to prove it, my cycles slowly became much shorter and ovulation started occurring naturally. The 15 hairs on my chin went to 10, and on some days, just a few.  I even started noticing a change in my perspective.  I no longer felt defeated or hopeless. But rather empowered and strong.

And so my question to you today is this:  What do you see when it comes to your healing? Do you see a finished work or a work that is yet to be completed?  Because friends, we can’t look to our circumstances.  We can’t listen to the voices of our fears, doubts, and worries. We can’t even look to the reports from our doctors as being the absolute truth.  Instead, we need to look to the Cross.  And we need to listen to the voice of our loving Father who is proclaiming, “It is done!” And we need to turn our ear to hear the sweet voice of His Son who is crying out, “It is finished!”  Because sweet friend, it is.  We are called to walk by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7).  And faith says you are healed.

It is finishedI wrote this article for the devotional book, Anchored in Hope, that was put together by Ali Forest but written by nearly 45 different women who have struggled or are currently struggling with infertility. If you are interested in purchasing this book in order to be encouraged by others walking the same journey – the failures, the loss, the grief, but also the triumphs and faith that carries us through it all, then don’t hesitate.


With Love

I would love to connect with you on a personal level, so if you liked this post, pass it on. Then click find Waiting for Baby Bird  on the public Facebook page or join me on Instagram @waitingforbabybird. I can’t wait to “meet” you!If you are looking for a faith-based infertility community of other women who just “get it”, then head over to the *PRIVATE* Waiting for Baby Bird Support group for hope + encouragement. There you will find opportunities to ask for prayer, watch *LIVE* encouragement videos from me, author of “Waiting for Baby Bird”, as well as be able to share your heart with others on the same path, enter into exclusive giveaways, and so much more! So what are you waiting for? Find us here!

183 thoughts on “When Your Healing Doesn’t Seem to Come”

  1. Thank you for your heart
    To be able to be in such adversary but still point people day after day towards God
    I have PCOS too.
    And struggling with infertility
    Your posts give me hope
    Bless you sweet sister

    1. Hey girl! Thank you so much for your sweet words of encouragement to me! I am stopping to pray for you right now and believing that when it comes to your healing, “It is finished” and soon you will see the manifestation of it. xo

  2. I love all your posts! Such a blessed writer and woman of God! Thanks for being such a blessing to me and otgers!

    1. Ahhh! Thank you so much for your sweet words of encouragement to me! You totally made me smile and gave me the push to keep encouraging other women and men struggling with infertility and miscarriage. xo

  3. So many of our Footprints on the Heart families suffer from PCOS. Thank you for sharing your heart. We love your site!

    1. Khristie,

      Thank you for always supporting and encouraging me! I can’t wait to meet up with you one day 🙂

  4. Thank you so much for helping to spread God’s greatness through your words.

  5. Absolutely loved this and surely needed it today as I’m still battling endo symptoms even after laparoscopy. And having to go through 6 months of treatment before we can even begin to try again for a baby. Thank you for being obedient! Your devotionals makes it easier to have that Hope & Faith! Trust God!

    1. Oh sugars! I am so sorry for your pain and even extended wait! UGH! I am stopping to pray for you tonight. I am asking that as you wait, He fill you with hope as He strengthens your faith and trust in Him. Waiting time is never wasted time in God’s economy! I am also believing that “It is finished” and that soon you will see the manifestation of it as you continue to focus on His love for you. xo

  6. Thanks for your candid words of encouragement! I am also a PCOS warrior! I am going to try changing my mindset and remember to say, “I am not healed, yet.” I don’t think my faith is at the point that I can say, “I am healed,” but I want to work towards that. And don’t feel bad that you are plucking 10 hairs from your chinny-chin-chin each day, I have to fully shave my face every day. (That has been so much better than trying to use the feminine products that were harsh on my skin. Something my Dad suggested one day. {grins} )

    1. I say just say it even if you don’t feel it 😉 Having faith isn’t a feeling and sometimes you have to say it until it is something you believe 😉

  7. Hi! I’m new to the blogging community but I have been inspired by your faith and posts, I am just beginning to share my own journey with infertility even though it has already been a very long road for me I am just now ready to talk about it. Its already been a healing experience even though I haven’t been active for very long. You can find my story over at http://www.notbreedingintheburbs.com/ I appreciate your positive views and support as another woman who has the courage to share her journey.

    1. Hey girl! So good to see a comment from you!!! Life has been HECTIC lately and I have had zero time to read blogs! Yikes! So with that said, how are you doing? I want you to know that I think of you often and pray for you each time that I do. ❤

      1. Hectic, I get! Totally get. Posts and comments have been few and far between from me, but I’m working on a new one right now. Thank you for the prayers. Know that I think and pray for you as often.

      2. Holy El crappo! I just searched your blog and read that you are pregnant! Supernaturally! This.is.amazing! I would like to say I am surprised but truthfully I am not. I have always felt in my spirit that the Lord would answer you in this way and I am do thankful He did! Not just for you, but also for me. It has built my faith even more and has given me confidence that I do hear him. Eek! So excited for you!!! ❤❤

      3. I still struggle to wrap my small brain around His big plans, but I am so thankful for you and your testimony. I know that God is doing something in you – now, not just later. And it is changing people’s lives.

  8. I am so thankful to have found you!! It blows my mind how often your posts are EXACTLY what I’m feeling!! I look forward to reading what you post everyday 💜 Thank you for sharing so much of your life!!💚

  9. Thank you for having the courage to share your heart. It means so much to me and I always find comfort in knowing that I’m not the only one going through this. ♡

  10. Beautifully written. I despise the things visible to this disease. I started thinking of how it has affected me the past few years and realized that it has afflicted me even longer. I sometimes wonder if knowing sooner could have helped alleviate some of my symptoms later in life, but your devotional reminds me that I have been healed in other ways by God.

  11. I honestly have a hard time in my circumstances and sometimes, I don’t see my miracle coming. I don’t believe it will happen or I don’t believe that God will grant me that. That’s my own fault and my own wrong view of God. He is good all the time, even if my circumstances are not good in my sight.

  12. I’ve been following your blog and Facebook page. It helps me get my hard ugly cry out for the day. I hope to win the devotional, every extra dollar has been going to our ivf fund. I also wish I could pick your brain about being a foster mom. You’re a blessing. You have no idea what you do for other families. Thank you!

  13. Thank you so much for your inspiring posts. Sometimes they are just what I need to keep me going!

  14. Thank you for writing from a place of pure honesty! Your Facebook posts seem to always meet my need! I can’t wait to get my hands on that devotional book!

  15. You are so right, although it can be so difficult not to look to your circumstances when you are drowning in them. I will keep trying though!

  16. I’m always blessed by your posts!! Thank you for your prayers and constant encouragement to trust a God even through infertility!

  17. Thank you so much for all of your blogs and posts. I’ve blogged several times about our personal experience and it was so freeing, but I know very few who truly understand. 5.5 years we have been married and 5.5 years we’ve been trying to conceive. Thank you for the reminder to look to God, as I’ve found myself in a place of “it just is”. Xoxo

  18. I just started following your blog on Facebook after reading the post about it being okay to not be okay this Thanksgiving. It really hit home for me because my husband and I were going to announce our pregnancy yesterday to my extended family. Unfortunately, last month, I miscarried. It was my first pregnancy and I would have been 11 weeks & 3 days. I was just diagnosed with PCOS in August and am currently seeing a fertility doctor to conceive. Thank you for your encouraging words. May God bless you and yours.

  19. My husband and I have been struggling through this for 6 years, your posts and stories are so helpful and inspiring. Especially on extra rough days❤️Thank you for having the courage to talk about this as it took me a long time to be able to talk openly.

  20. Your posts are a blessing to me. I feel so alone in this infertility mess. Like no one around me understands and they really don’t. I feel like a failure and like I am letting my husband down. He wants to be a daddy just as bad as I want to be a mommy. My body just does not want to cooperate. For a reason no one can seem to find. It’s bad to say and I feel terrible for typing it but it is nice to know sometimes I’m not the only one. Your posts help that feeling. Thank you.

    1. You are far from alone! And while doctors do not have the answer or the ability, God does! Put your hope in Him for He can make a way where there seems to be no way. Xoxo

  21. My heart just melted! So many times I need to hear this truth! Thank you fonalways pouring your heart out!!

  22. Thank you for this! While at my RE’s office awaiting to hear our baby’s heartbeat I heard a whisper from God, “everything is ok” and when there was no heartbeat I reminded myself of His whisper. Though, at the time, it felt like everything was NOT ok, over the past few weeks God has reminded me that because of HIM, everything is ok. We have had another miscarriage, but I know God has a beautiful plan for our lives.

  23. You’re beautiful inside and out. I don’t even know how your FB page crossed my path but I am so thankful it did. You’re a true inspiration that my Baby M will come some day!! Makenna

  24. I am so thankful to have found you on Facebook. I know that the fertility troubles that some of us go through we are not alone. God bless you and your journey.

  25. This post really spoke to my heart. I recently got some very discouraging news after an exploratory laparoscopy. Nine years of unexplained infertility and I find out that my entire uterus and both tubes were completely blocked with scar tissue so extensive the surgeon couldn’t even find the opening to my tubes and had to close me up and leave it all alone. I cried, I got angry, I was devastated. To hear the surgeon tell me I have zero chance of getting pregnant without finding a surgeon willing and able to ATEMPT to clear me out…devastating. All this to say, when you pointed out that my headline has already be accomplished, healed my heart. That felt so good to remember. Thank you.

    1. Oh sugars! I am sure that news was devastating but now that you know, you can pray specially for that healing and believe that He will work despite it. He can make a way where there is no way. Xoxox

  26. I love all your posts. They always touch me in someway and make me reevaluate this struggle.

  27. This month leads to a year of infertility and i have become less positive and hopeful than a year ago. I want to have your positive attitude and strong faith! Im drowning and each of your posts gives me a glimmer of hope each day. I read every one!! Thank you so much for sharing, so i know im not the only one with these feelings.

    1. I am so sorry hun you are also going through this. I give all the glory to God that I can remain this positive. He has given me peace and hope and strength to keep going each month without a positive. He can do the same for you too ❤❤

  28. Such truth in this post. Satan wants us to look at the circumstances and whats in front of us right now. But God tells us we are healed. Time to set our eyes on Him, instead of the father of lies.

Comments are closed.