To the One Who Can’t Buy the Baby’s First Christmas Outfit

To the One Who Can't Buy the Baby's First Chirsmtas Outfit

Do you remember the other day?  I do.  I couldn’t help but notice how you stopped and admired the display of “Baby’s First Christmas” outfits before picking one of them up to hold. It was so tiny and cute, wasn’t it?  Especially the one with the reindeer footsies?  At first glance I thought you would find the size you needed before tossing it in the cart and continuing on your way to finish your Christmas shopping, but you didn’t.  Instead you just stood there holding it, almost in a daze.  And it was at that moment when everything around you seemed to fade that I recognized myself in you.

Because I began to notice the way you gently touched it.  It’s the same way I would have.  I saw how your head tilted to one side and your shoulders slumped whenever you ran your hand down the sleeves. My hands would have naturally done the same.  And I even realized the moment your breathing changed.  Your chest began to rise and fall differently.  Chances are you were just trying to hold back the tears.  But you couldn’t.  Instead, I quietly watched as each one of them began to fall lightly onto the outfit you were so carefully holding.

Friend, I know each one of those tears you were shedding carried a sense of loss and grief.  Each one represented a dream that had been broken.  A plan that had been shattered. A prayer that had gone unanswered. A soul that felt crushed. And I know that each one of them mixed together represented a womb…your womb…that is empty. And aching.

Because every year since the journey began to build your family you have had only one wish: A baby. But no matter how hard you have tried, no matter how many prayers you have prayed, or how much hope you have held on to, another year is passing you by where there still isn’t an extra stocking hung by the fireplace. There still isn’t a tiny person added to your Christmas card photo. And their still isn’t a reason to purchase the outfit…the one with the reindeer footsies.

But if I could have whispered into your ear that day, do you know what I would have told you? I would have told you to buy it.  Because miracles are still happening.  Dreams are constantly being fulfilled.  And circumstances are always changing.  So go ahead and get it.  Carry it in your purse. Tuck it underneath your pillow when you sleep.  Let your tears soak deep into the fibers.  And your prayers fill it with faith.  Let it be a tangible reminder to hold on to hope for the desire that has been planted in that soft fertile soil of your heart.  A desire that isn’t impossible for our heavenly Father to fulfill.

Don’t worry if it fades, becomes stained, or ragged because this really isn’t for them; this is for you. Because there is something about stepping out in faith that ignites a spark of hope and anticipation. There is something special about it that will somehow and in some supernatural way light within you a spark of strength and perseverance. And it’s amazing how it can provoke a spark that refreshes your soul and sets an entire fire of encouragement within your heart.

I know it sounds crazy. And I know there will be days when you will feel foolish that you purchased it. There will be nights when your heart will ache while holding it.  There will be moments when you will want to throw it in a drawer, hide it in a closet, or toss it in the trashcan.  But don’t. Keep holding on to it.  And know that when you do, there is another woman…me…holding the same outfit, dreaming the same dream, feeling the same pains, and shedding the same tears.

You are not alone my sweet sister. And my hope for you today is that by next Christmas, your precious miracle, and my precious miracle, will be clothed in our tear soaked, prayer bathed, hope filled “Baby’s First Christmas” outfits.

With LoveFaith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. ~Hebrews 11:1


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67 thoughts on “To the One Who Can’t Buy the Baby’s First Christmas Outfit

  1. Beautifully written… I was just looking at baby clothes today for a friend and dreaming of the day I can put my precious baby in them. Thand you for putting some of my thoughts into words.

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  2. Wow, this is beautiful. I can’t even find words to show how moving it was and how many times I’ve been that girl, hanging on to items that I have no use for yet. My first, and only, baby purchase was a set of month stickers to place on a onesie to track my baby’s growth in pictures. It’s in my trunk and no one has ever seen it. Thank you for writing this. Your words are so perfect.

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  3. Yes! So good! I love that you are encouraging SO many to take steps of F A I TH!!!!!!! It’s an honor to partner with you, others, and the Lord and buy gifts for our babies while we wait! YES and AMEN!! WahoO! Can’t wait to see your sweet babies in all these precious gifts!

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  4. This is beautiful. I’ve been that woman so so many times. The first, and only, baby item over ever bought was the stickers to put on onesies for babies monthly pictures. They’re in my trunk and they’re my little secret. Thank you for writing this. It’s hits right at home.

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  5. Thank you so much for that. I am definitely that person you wrote to. I have often looked at a similar outfit but walked away without buying it. But just the other day, I bought a Christmas picture frame that said, “I believe in miracles.” I imagined it with a photo of a baby (or babies) in it. I worried about buying it… that it would make it harder if it never happened… What would I do with it?… etc. but, I do feel somehow more hopeful. And I look forward to putting a baby picture in it.

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    • I seriously can’t wait for you to one day email me a picture of your miracle inside of this picture frame! I did get your email and will hopefully have time to respond tomorrow 🙂 Merry Christmas! xo

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  6. You always capture feelings so beautifully mine was not a Christmas outfit but a little inside covered in bicycles I bought it hoping and praying to one day give it to my hubby. He now has it and I know when the twins arrive it will be one of their most worn items. Have faith miracles do happen xx

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  7. Love your dear, sweet heart, Elisha! YES, I am believing God that by this time next year, your own dear miracle will have arrived!!! I am so proud of you for keeping the faith and standing firm, in spite of what you see…walking by faith, and not by sight. Merry Christmas to you, dear friend!

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  8. I can’t even begin to tell you how much this post touched me, how every word I read touched and tugged on my heart strings because over the past few weeks I have been that woman. I have put it all in God’s hands and I know that when he sees fit he will allow me to have a little one who can wear that outfit. You inspire me so much with your faith in God through everything. You have such a special way of putting your thoughts into words. ❤

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    • Ahhh thank you so much, Brittany, for your sweet words of encouragement and support. I am praying for you right now…praying for peace to overwhelm you as you wait and hope to continue to flood through you as you keep stepping out in faith. Lots of love! xo

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  9. Thank you for writing this post. I have bought baby’s first bathing suit, baby’s first dress, baby’s first sweatshirt, all without having a baby. I’ve been holding on to them for years now, and will continue to until my heart’s desire has been fulfilled. I thought I was the only one 😉

    Much love!

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  10. As I was recently looking at the display of babies first Christmas outfits, trying not to let my emotions show to my 12 year old son (who knows a little bit about my troubled journey to provide him with a sibling) He asked me, what is the point of something that can only be worn once a year? I told him (holding back tears) “Because that one day is a very special day, and Christmas photos last for years not just days.” ( And in my mind I thought to myself…. that special day means even more to those of us for fight to have those special moments and a precious bundle of joy ❤

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  11. Oh, this spoke to me!! I’m one of those women also. I carry a baby sock with me everywhere as a symbol of my hope. I see the cute outfits and toys and, especially at Christmas, it’s heartbreaking. This year I bought a book for my baby hope chest. So hard to keep the faith that one day we will find a way to have a family. Thank you for this compassionate and encouraging post. Wishing you well.

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  12. Beautifully written. I remember being the person that wasn’t able to walk by the baby section without crying. It was always a difficult time. Thank you for encouraging us to go ahead and buy it and feel all the emotions we will have with it, sometimes that is a relief in itself. Merry Christmas and I am praying for you and your miracle.

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  13. Thank you for your lovely ‘letter’. I cried reading it too. I have a Christmas outfit here lying unused. Our daughter should have been born a few days ago, but she left us in the Summer.

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    • Oh, Cath! I am so sorry for your loss :/ My heart is breaking for you. I doubt there is ANYTHING I can say to ease your pain so I’ll just pray for you. I pray for the Lord to wrap His arms of comfort around you right now and give you the peace, the rest, and the supernatural strength to continue to smile…breathe…live…and believe. I ask that He heal your wounded spirit. Pick you up when you start to fall down, and raise you high above your circumstances so that one day the valley you find yourself in at this moment, will be the one you are looking down on because you have reached the mountain top. Lots of love, sugars! xo

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  14. Thank you for this for I was this woman for 11 years. This year I am finally celebrating a first Christmas with my 6 month old son. Miracles do happen ladies, my son is proof! Never give up hope.

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  15. I held on to my little miracle’s outfit for 6 years. Those long, hard years have brought me to a place of so much comfort in the Lord. And now the Lord has answered my prayers with my sweet son. I pray for all my sisters who travel this hard road of trying and waiting!

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    • Oh, hun! I am so sorry :/ I’m going on five years as well. I am praying for you right now and asking God to come into the middle of your circumstances and do what only He can do….I ask that He bring life to your womb, unspeakable joy to your heart, and the pitter patter of tiny feet to your home. Merry Christmas! xo

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  17. Pingback: Guest Blog: To the One Who Can’t Buy the Baby’s First Chirsmtas Outfit | Coffee, Tea and Inner Peace

  18. Thank you for this post. I was poking around Feedly for blogs about infertility and this post caught my eye. It spoke so directly to my heart and to my situation that I could not help but cry at my desk. There is hope, but it is a tough road filled with many emotions. Thank you for being open and sharing your story.

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    • Hey there, Lindsay! I’m so glad you found your way here…sorta. I say sorta because I hate the circumstances you are facing that brought you here :/ I pray that you stay awhile and take a peek at my other entries and that somehow in someway that spark life within you to keep hoping…keep believing…and keep praying for a miracle. Lots of love! xo

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  19. This is appreciated and I so hope and pray for this for us both….all…”And my hope for you today is that by next Christmas, your precious miracle, and my precious miracle, will be clothed in our tear soaked, prayer bathed, hope filled “Baby’s First Christmas” outfits.” Thank you for always dragging me out of a slump…your faith is encouraging and appreciated…xoxo

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  22. Thank you sooo much I will be buying a first outfit..my mother in law as of late has been looking at outfits and saying why don’t you hurry up and have me a grand baby so I can buy cute outfits 💔😥 I am praying for you and also praying that with my first purchase I will receive peace

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  23. Pingback: When hope becomes tangible | hoping to be more than a dog mom

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