Some days I think I am doing okay with this whole infertility thing. I think I have my grief under control — my bitterness in check. My doubts erased — and my plans surrendered. But then there are days when it hits me like a freight train, and all it takes is walking past this display of “Baby’s First Christmas” outfits to make me crumble. Or seeing a photo on Facebook of a sweet baby nestled on Santa’s lap to make me ugly cry for hours…maybe off and on for days. The Christmas season can be hard. And if I am not careful and dwell too long on my shattered dreams and unanswered prayers, I will sink below the weight of them. So what do I do in these moments when my soul feels crushed, and my heart aches?
I remember Hope.
But not the feeling of hope.
Or hope as in wishful thinking.
But Hope as in the Person.
Because Christmas isn’t about Santa, the children, or the stockings and tinsel; it’s not about the cookies, the gifts, or the family gathered around well-lit trees, although that’s what we have made it out to be. We get our hearts and our minds so fixated on all that Christmas isn’t that it causes our hearts to ache and our souls to feel crushed, even forgotten. But what if we spent time focused on all that Christmas is, which is God’s love, grace, and miracle-working power? I believe that if we did, then Christmas wouldn’t be a time that causes our souls to ache but rather rejoice.
Just think about it.
We have the virgin, Mary. She reminds us that conditions do not need to be perfect for a miracle to take place. But we think they do. We believe the lie that if our body isn’t ovulating, our husband’s sperm isn’t swimming right, or the bank account is empty, then it’s over. But that’s far from Truth. In fact, we read in Psalm 81:16 about how God declares that He can give honey from a rock. This verse always grips my heart with hope because it’s clear that He doesn’t need a bee, or pollen, or anything else one would need to make honey. If honey is what you need and all you have is a rock, then a rock will do. What does this mean for you? It means this: Even if you don’t ovulate…even if your husband doesn’t have any sperm…even if your insurance doesn’t cover it…EVEN IF, there is still an EVEN NOW God at work in your life. He is the master orchestrator of defying all human reasoning and logic.
After all, He also healed a blind man with just His spit.
But it’s not just Mary who gives me hope, it’s also Joseph. He was faced with a difficult choice after discovering Mary was pregnant to either divorce her or have her stoned. But God showed up in a dream and gave Joseph a third option: marry her. When the world told him to give up, the person of Hope whispered one more time. At that’s the thing, when we think we are out of options, and out of possibilities, God shows up. He is never limitless. And His hand is never too short to reach down.
Usually, we stop with those characters in the Christmas story. However, there is King Herold. He tried to kill Jesus when he demanded every boy under the age of two be murder. But he failed. Do you know what that reminds me of? Anything the enemy will plot against you can’t thwart God’s plans. This means your diagnosis can’t thwart His plans. Your lack of finances can’t thwart his plans. Your husband’s lack of sperm can’t stop Him either. Nor can your number of fibroids or stage endometriosis.
Sweet friend, if there was one tip that I would want you to always remember as you not only go through this holiday season but through every season of life, it is this: don’t lose hope. But if you already have, let hope whisper to you one more time. Let Him remind you that you are not at the end of your rope without any options left…or at the end of your bank account like the enemy wants you to believe. It’s not the end of your deep desire to carry life within your womb due to your age or the conditions of your body. It’s not the end. Let’s strip away everything this holiday season that doesn’t matter and focus on Christmas in its purest form: The birth of Hope. Hope for a better tomorrow. Hope for healing. Hope for dreams fulfilled, and prayers answered. Hope that the plans He has for our lives far exceed the circumstances of our day…our month…or our year.
Let’s hold onto hope. And also, let’s pursue it. Because in the Christmas story, we also know the wise men traveled thousands of miles to see Jesus. When they finally found Him, they responded with joy, worship, and gifts. I’ll admit, this is different than the approach I often take today, and perhaps you too? We expect Jesus to come looking for us, explain Himself to us, and give gifts to us, which He does all of those things. He is a giver. But those who are wise will first seek and worship Him first, not for what they can get, but for who He is. Let’s also be wise. Let’s not get so caught up in all that the season isn’t that we forget all that it is—the birth of Hope.
If you are looking for a faith-based infertility community of other women who just “get it,” then head over to the *PRIVATE* Waiting for Baby Bird Support group for hope + encouragement. There you will find opportunities to ask for prayer, watch *LIVE* encouragement videos from me, author of “Waiting for Baby Bird,” as well as be able to share your heart with others on the same path, enter into exclusive giveaways, and so much more! So what are you waiting for? Find us here!