He Settles the Barren: Stories to Empower Hope (Part 3)

It’s so easy to read a story of someone else who was healed, restored, or redeemed and think…“That’s great for them. But that won’t happen for me.” And I get it. It’s sometimes our knee-jerk reaction to dismiss them as nothing more than just “that person’s story.” But do you know what the word testimony means? In Hebrew, it comes from a root word that means ‘do it again.’ Therefore every time a testimony is spoken, it comes with God’s covenant to repeat the miracle. This is why I have decided to begin sharing the many testimonies sent to me through email. I want to create an atmosphere for the miracle to be duplicated. I want you to have a place to be able to come and immerse yourself in the power that testimonies can hold. Because if God did it for them, He could do it again. And why not He do it again for you? After all, He does not show favoritism (Romans 2:11). Therefore as you read, open yourself up to the possibility that what He did for them, He is not only able but also willing to do for you. May their story bring hope and healing to yours.

After three years of being in the storm, and doctors told my husband and me that it was not only impossible but probably not probable due to only having one fallopian tube, our little rainbow is due in about 4-5 weeks. There are times I still can’t believe it. To all of those who are still in the storm, I encourage you never to give up believing and always praying. Because while the doctors said, “I’m sorry, but it probably won’t happen without major intervention,” our God said, “Sit back, hold my coke and watch this!” Without any medication, human intervention, and only one tube, our Mighty God showed up and showed out! I believe that the same can happen for you.

My husband and I were unable to conceive. In fact, we were given a 0.4 chance of conceiving naturally, so we went the IVF route…three failed rounds later, and with our last embryo left, I wanted to get my body back into the best shape before transfer. I ate healthily, exercised regularly, and was six lbs away from my goal weight when the God of all miracles opened my womb, and we conceived my son naturally, a true miracle. When doctors say it’s impossible, God says it’s possible. But not only that, but our last embryo also became a positive pregnancy, and we are officially one month away from giving birth to our second child. Our infertility journey was long, there were times that we wanted to give up, but we held onto hope and the belief that God could do anything. To whoever is reading this, I encourage you to please hold onto that same hope and belief. Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Sending hugs to many of you who know this journey far too well.

I had basically given up hope that I would get pregnant. It had been over two years since my second miscarriage, and we had even stopped trying. However, while in the midst of becoming foster parents (something we still want to do), I discovered I was pregnant. As hard (and frustrating, annoying, and depressing) as it can be to hear it, everyone who ever told me that it was all about God’s timing was right. He doesn’t care about age (I’ll be 39 years old next month), nor does He care about having ONE ovary, multiple cysts, uterine fibroids, or endometriosis. How do I know? Because this miracle we are expecting…the one with a very active and strong heartbeat…is proof of that.

My husband and I tried for over three years to conceive. One year we tried naturally, and two years with a fertility specialist. It was the absolute worst experience that I have ever been through, as it completely broke me. The only thing that ever made me feel better was the Waiting for Baby Bird online support group. To know I wasn’t alone and that my feelings, heartbreak, and anguish were “normal,” and even common for others, made me feel better, or as better as one could feel. Needless to say, having those “me too” moments meant the world to me. At one point, we were told there was nothing else the doctors could do. So, after multiple procedures, failed IUI cycles, countless shots, and one surgery, my husband and I were done. Again, through your blog, it helped ease the pain and heartbreak of “letting go.” However, after some much needed time away from the stress and pressure of trying to conceive, I once more gathered enough hope and strength to try one more IUI, and guess what?! It worked! Our sweet miracle was born in October of last year. But that doesn’t mean I will stop participating in the online group because I vowed from day one of finding out that we were pregnant never to forget what it was like before. I want to encourage and support other women. I want to remind them their feelings are normal, their pain is valid, and it’s okay to take breaks. But to also remind them never to stop believing in miracles because, like the quote says, “when the world says give up, hope whispers try it one more time.”

I read something the other day that said, “It’s crazy how much life can change in one year.” This, of course, got me thinking about the past year. I had a very difficult time conceiving. Years of trying and years of failing It takes a lot out of a person. Every month hoping that this would be the month and every month feeling like a failure as a wife and a woman when it didn’t happen. Going through all of the tests to essentially be told nothing is wrong. This time last year, I had gone through my third round of Clomid (fertility medication) and still nothing. My doctor wanted to switch medications, but after weighing my options, I was done. I was tired and stressed and just…done. I looked at my husband and let him know I needed a break because I couldn’t do it anymore. His response was nothing short of supportive. He had seen what I would go through each month when it didn’t happen, and he understood the pressure I was under. However, one day, I took a pregnancy test “just because,” and I couldn’t believe my eyes! It was there! The positive result I had been waiting for was there! I woke my husband up because I thought I was crazy, but he saw it too! A year ago, we found out we were going to be parents. And now we have an amazing 4-month-old who we love so much. So yeah, it’s crazy how much your life can change in just 12 short months. 

There was a time in my life in which I always viewed myself as broken and assumed my husband married the wrong one. But then, one day, I decided that I was no longer going to own the identity placed upon me. Nor was I going to own my diagnosis or the odds stacked up against me. Instead, I drew closer to God and embraced the idea that we would be the exception to the rule. And guess what? We are! I am expecting a perfect, healthy baby boy in May. If I could encourage anyone going through infertility, it would be this: Don’t stay in the fail zone too long. Don’t unpack and live there. Do feel those feelings, but then let them go. With me being bullheaded enough to refuse to accept our diagnosis and believe that God would see us worthy of a miracle is what I know made our journey possible. 

I have been where each of you who are struggling with infertility has been. We tried for eight years. We went through five IUI’s and many failed pregnancy tests. I was angry and miserable. I know people mean the best when they say it will happen at the right time, but I wanted to spit in their faces. My bitterness would overtake me to the point that I could not even look at someone pregnant. My husband and I prayed and prayed about what to do and which path to take. We decided to go through IVF, which is very taxing on your body. In the first cycle, we became pregnant but lost the baby at 6 weeks. I will never forget that moment when the doctor told me I lost my child-like it was no big deal. I cried my eyes out and could not even get out of bed for days. I went for a D&C procedure* with my ob/GYN, and he performed one more ultrasound before surgery, and guess what? My baby still had a heartbeat! My God performed a miracle! My little girl has such a testimony about how great God is because HE is the only reason I have her. I am praying for each of you because no one knows how it feels unless they have been there.  

Definition of D&C: Dilation (or dilatation) and curettage (D&C) refers to the dilation (widening/opening) of the cervix and surgical removal of part of the lining of the uterus and/or contents of the uterus by scraping and scooping (curettage). It is a therapeutic gynecological procedure as well as the most often used method of first-trimester miscarriage.

My husband Jacob and I prayed for a baby for years. In May, I finally went to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) for fertility testing after four years of never seeing a positive pregnancy test. The doctors did a lot of blood work and called me back a week later to inform me that my AMH (egg count) was zero. They ran the test once more, and again, it was zero. We were told our options were IVF or adoption, but we decided to pray before deciding. On June 30th, our preacher delivered a message on Hezekiah and how Hezekiah brought his burden (the letter) to the Lord. At the end of the message, our preacher encouraged us to write our burden down and bring it to the Lord. I wrote down my burden for a baby, and we prayed over it. At the end of the service, our pastor said, “I believe some miracles are going to happen.” Of course, I was praying that the miracle would be our baby. Two days later, I took a pregnancy test, and it was positive! I know that was God’s miracle! After four years of trying and praying, we had just been told it was never going to happen, but God had a miracle in store for us! Please, don’t EVER give up on God no matter what miracle you may be praying for.

He Settles the Barren: Stories to Inspire Hope (Part 1)

He Settles the Barren: Stories to Inspire Hope (Part 2)

Other Testimonies

If you have a testimony that you would like to share, please email me at waitingforbabybird@gmail.com.

I would love to connect with you, so if you liked this post, pass it on. Then come find Waiting for Baby Bird on the public Facebook page or join me on Instagram @waitingforbabybird. I can’t wait to “meet” you!

If you are looking for a faith-based infertility community of other women who “get it,” then head over to the *PRIVATE* Waiting for Baby Bird Support group for hope + encouragement. There you will find opportunities to ask for prayer, watch *LIVE* encouragement videos from me, author of “Waiting for Baby Bird,” as well as be able to share your heart with others on the same path, enter into exclusive giveaways, and so much more! So what are you waiting for? Find us here!