Not Just Fashionably Late

lateThe worst feeling ever in the morning is the subtle glance at the clock that quickly turns into a mumbling of words, an ungraceful stumble out of bed, and a frantic vibe that is reinforced by the echoing thought of “Oh crap, oh crap!”  I hate being late, especially when it is out of my control.  It can be my car didn’t start, I overslept, I didn’t hear the alarm, or my cat threw up (this has actually happened…).  The reasons… I mean…excuses can be endless and awful…

I have a typical type A personality, so of course I do not like being late, nor do I like to hear the word late.  It throws off plans, makes me rework my lists, and causes my schedule to go out of whack.  It is a melancholy’s worst nightmare!  But for the last five months, my body (menstrual cycle) has decided it likes loves the word late, and not the fashionably, “cutsie” kind of late, but the kind where I basically have one cycle in the time frame an average person has two cycles.

Since May, my cycles have been 44 days, 29 days (say what?!  Happy, happy, happy), 41 days, 40 days, 48 days and now drum roll please…56 days.  This is not “normal” and there are days when I don’t pray and ask for a baby that month, but just a “normal” cycle.  I can’t remember ever having one, but I know “normal” cycles exist.  I have read about them online (hehe) and just a couple of weeks ago I overheard my friend talking to another friend about how she planned both of her children’s birthday’s to be in the summer.  What?!  You can do that?!  That’s amazing! I can’t even plan when to have “menstrual supplies” on hand, let alone what season I want my children’s birthday’s to be in.  This is a planners dream!  She must either have magic powers that I do not have, or a “normal” cycle.  I’m going to go with the latter.  I want a cycle like her’s…a cycle in which I can plan or schedule…uhhhmmm…errr…”activities” to increase my chances of getting pregnant…”normal” cycles in which I could plan (if I wanted to) which seasons or months I wanted to have my children…I just want a “normal” cycle.

But what is normal when it comes to your cycle length?  Medical professionals and “Dr. Google” say that a normal cycle is anywhere between 21 to 35 days with 28 being “average”.  So as it seems, my 56 day cycle is anything but “normal” or “average”.   Long cycles usually equal no ovulation.  No ovulation equals no egg.  No egg means no baby…so how am I suppose to get pregnant without a “normal” cycle?!

instaquote-07-01-2014-17-32-30Hope and Faith.  That’s how I am going to get pregnant.  Even with being chronically late and having all of this “evidence” stacked up against me, I refuse to lose hope and I will hold on to every ounce of faith I have in my spirit.  I will not allow the facts of my situation change my mind about the truth in God’s promises of healing, or that He can do the impossible regardless of how long my cycles have become.  Of course the devil wants me to feel stuck in my situation and try to convince me that it is hopeless.  He wants me to have those thoughts in the back of my mind that say, “Next cycle won’t be any different.  In fact, it will probably continue to get longer. It isn’t ever going to change.  You are the only one God isn’t doing anything for.”  But I know that these are just lies from the devil.  I know that God can turn this ugly situation of long cycles, mixed with unbalanced hormones, combined with months years of heartache, and turn it around for His glory.  How do I know this?  I know this because He has proven Himself time and time again in His word and I have seen it with other people in my life.  How many stories have you heard of people who were struggling with something and then BAM!  Everything suddenly changed for the better?  I believe that more often than not, God moves suddenly and we need to wait for a sudden move from Him.  We need to have hope in Him that is filled to the top with expectancy.

Definition of expectancy:  the state of confidently thinking or hoping that something pleasant will happen

who caresI am going into my next cycle expecting that God is going to suddenly show up at any moment and change this whole mess in an instant, regardless of any evidence presented that pregnancy can’t happen. It’s okay if my cycles are long because I don’t have to have a “normal” cycle to get pregnant…my charting doesn’t have to have perfect highs and lows…my hormones don’t even have to be balanced, because God is the God of impossibles and my impossible circumstance is just more of opportunity for His power and glory to shine.   “My new motto:  It doesn’t matter if my cycles are early, late or on time because God is the God of impossibles.”

For the record, I never planned to put on cyberspace when my cycles started, ended, appeared, reappeared, disappeared, etc.  However, I felt it was necessary in order to encourage and remind every woman who is struggling with irregular cycles or having thoughts that their cycles need to be “normal”, that God is the God of impossibles.  If He can cause a virgin teenager to get pregnant and give birth, then He can cause you to get pregnant and give birth, even with all of your short, long, non-existent cycles, and crazy up and down hormones.  Just believe.

Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.” ~Matthew 19:26

instaquote-07-01-2014-17-40-00

(side note:  I know that women with “normal” cycle lengths also do not get pregnant.  I am not saying the grass is greener on the other side; I am just saying that it gets frustrating and feelings of hopelessness can creep in when you NEVER know how long your cycle is going to last or when it could even start.  It takes me to a whole new level of a “two week wait” because it can sometimes be a three week wait…or four week…or should I even wait?  So since I can’t control it and I don’t know, I have decided to not care anymore on the “length” and instead put it in God’s hands…that was the point of this post.)

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40 thoughts on “Not Just Fashionably Late

  1. Thank you for sharing your monthly cycle information with us 🙂 But seriously, thank you. I have been so discouraged lately and have been tricked into thinking that God does not have anything other than suffering for me. But I should be filled to the top with expectation because he has promised me so many amazing things. And of course, He can do anything, even with “hopeless” situations. Thank you for inspiring me to hope today.

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    • Yes keep hoping!! If you look throughout the stories in the Bible, God didn’t do miracles when everything was perfect. He knows exactly how to take a “hopeless” situation and turn it around for His glory but we must first have hope and faith in Him that not only He can, but He will. I’m praying for you girl that hope will just keep overflowing in your cup today and everyday! hugs!

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  2. I especially liked this: ” If He can cause a virgin teenager to get pregnant and give birth, then He can cause you to get pregnant and give birth, even with all of your short, long, non-existent cycles, and crazy up and down hormones.” Talk about words to keep on your heart!

    Faith, Hope & Love! Prayers for you!

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    • Thank you for your prayers and the encouragement you have shown me just in the last couple of days! You shine for God for sure! He can do the impossible doesn’t need the perfect person, body, or cycle to do it in 😉

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  3. I admire your faith and I believe that God will hand you that miracle. It will be a beautiful surprise just the right egg at just the right moment to make your sweet little baby bird. And until that happens I pray he will overwhelm you with peace. I have only had a few late cycles and the most recent one threw me for a loop. Thanks for a reminder to cling to God who is our hope.

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    • You are right…I’m sure it will be a surprise. lol!!! God is my only source of hope…if He wasn’t I am sure I would be in an insane asylum by now. haha! Thank you so much for being such a wonderful source of encouragement! You shine my friend 🙂

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  4. Hi! I’m very type a and hate being late too. Although my cycles seem to always be mostly on time (28-29 days), we’ve been TTC for almost 4 years and still..nothing. So doesn’t seem to help me out much that I’m regular =) but, my sister had one period in one whole year, and the girl got pregnant at some point. So yeah. Anything is definitely possible with God! Praying for you!

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    • I believe we all face doubt and unbelief from time to time and it’s normal. But it’s what we do with that doubt and unbelief that matters. I don’t try to dwell on my doubts long or else they will consume me and eat me alive. The doubts remind me of what I know to be true and keep me in check. By the way, I’m totally jealous of the walks you get to take everyday.

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  5. I have always had regular 29 day cycles and it did not produce a baby for 2 years (as you know we lost the one we were blessed with). Of course we know God gives us that miracle but I say that just to let you know a regular cycle doesn’t always work either girl.

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    • Thanks Amie 🙂 I was mainly implying that I never know when it will show up. Some cycles
      it is 40 plus days and others it may only be 29. Very irregular and unpredictable.

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      • Yeah I can understand how that would be super frustrating as well. Right now I have the forever long bleeding going and it’s driving me nuts!! haha Thank you so much for the devotional, I LOVE it!! I got started last night and think it is just what I needed to kick myself in gear. You are awesome!!

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      • oh my goodness I’m praying for you!! Mine show up late and only last a day or two :/ I’m soooo glad you like the devotional!! Let me know if you ever need any more resources!!! Hugs to you!! (p.s. I think you are awesome!)

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  6. I wanted to share with you that when I was trying to get pregnant with my son that I too had irregularities my entire life. I also started to have later and later cycles as well as going for 6 straight months without one and taking test after test thinking… THIS HAS to be the day! THIS HAS to be why. But, it wasn’t. So I talked to my obgyn and he said that I needed to go back on birth control for 3 months so that my insides could gain some regularity. I was suffering from early menopause at 28 years old and he had told me that if I didn’t get the hormones on the right track with the birth control so that they could kick start my young/ fertile-NESS… that I could possibly lose the ability to have a baby and continue into menopausal loveliness. So… what I had done was get back onto my pills for about 1 and a half months…and then had forgot them a few days…. so I thought… I’ll just restart them in a new month and then I started feeling like maybe I should just focus my energy on my career. I went ahead and spent the rest of the month off of my pills and then the rest of December because I wanted to spend Christmas not worrying. At the end of the year… I had the worst ear infection and went to the doc to have them prescribe me some meds. They asked if I could by any chance be pregnant… I kind of sarcastically laughed and then sighed and said… “Technically yes… but more than likely not at all.” So they had to do a blood test before giving me anything that could be harmful to a fetus. And there he was… only about 3 to 4 days… but there was my little boy. After restarting my insides and relaxing from the stress of it all, here he came. There are days, weeks and months of mind racing, body taxing, emotion tolls that were left out of this post, as most of you are aware of them yourselves, but just know that sometimes miracles come when you least expect them. I hope that you can find an answer soon. Don’t give up hope.

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    • Thank you so much for the encouragement! I tried the recommendation of getting on birth control once to “restart my hormones” but once I got off them, I was worse than before :/ I’m so glad your story ended up so well because it gives hope for the rest of us. God does not play favorites (Romans 2:11) so I know the unexpected surprise He gave you, He will also give me 🙂 yay!!! thanks for commenting! It means so much 🙂

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  7. I can only imagine how frustrating it would be having such long cycles, I am sorry friend. I’ve only had irregularity after surgery and it was super discouraging trying to “plan” when my body was not on a regular cycle. Miracles do come when you least expect them! I think of Sarah and how she laughed when she was told she would have a baby in her old age and probably no menstrual cycle! I’m hoping and believing with you!

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  8. Before I got pregnant last year with No. 1, my cycles were only every 180-200 days. I only had about 2 per year and the doctors gave us no hope. It was so disheartening and discouraging. But God works miracles in unlikely circumstances. Don’t lose hope. In his timing, God will bring you your little boy. I’m still holding out hope that someday we will have a baby to hold in our arms. Until then, short cycles or long, I know that God is working the details. Love you girlie!

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    • Thanks so much Jessica for your encouraging words!! I have another friend who had a child and then never once had another cycle and she got pregnant randomly again too. However, its been 7 years she has had a cycle and she is still trying for a third ;/ Breaks my heart. It makes me not want to complain about my 56 day cycle.

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      • It is definitely hard, especially the not knowing. At least where we were at, tracking didn’t help because my temps and everything were all over the place. It was at that moment of giving up control and believing for a miracle, that we found peace. This time around, I am trying to not forget those lessons and while my cycles are starting to return to a somewhat “normal” range, I know that each life is such a miracle. Let me know how I can encourage you through this time.

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  9. “I have read about them online (hehe) and just a couple of weeks ago I overheard my friend talking to another friend about how she planned both of her children’s birthday’s to be in the summer. What?! You can do that?! That’s amazing! I can’t even plan when to have “menstrual supplies” on hand, let alone what season I want my children’s birthday’s to be in.”

    If I’d been taking a sip of a drink while reading this, I would’ve spit it out laughing like they do in movies. Oh man can I ever relate!! I have a friend who’s been giving herself a two month window this coming summer to get pregnant. She’s been planning it for over a year. And you know what? I bet she will.

    G-d’ll be there for us when it’s the best possible time. My husband always reminds me that when it happens, we’re going to be like “Oh. This WAS ‘the’ right time!” It’d be nice to have some answers and reassurance in the meantime though… 🙂

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    • It sure would!!! I tell my husband all the time I wish I could look over God’s shoulder and see His calender but he always says back…”then what faith would that be.” Makes me want to punch him sometimes but he is right. sigh. But I still wanna look at God’s calender. hehehe.

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  10. Lovely thoughts there. It’s so easy to get frustrated/angry/in a wild rage with the world when it feels like you’re waiting twice as long just for the chance that everyone else gets once a month. Thank you for the reminder to leave it all in God’s hands and have patience…. I will try! x

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    • I’m so glad you stopped by 🙂 Yes, I have discovered during this whole process that my stress level is lower and my peace is higher when I just lay it down at His feet and let Him work it out. He has more control of everything than I do, especially when I surrender my full control. I’m praying you get your miracle in 2014

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  11. I’ve never had normal cycles. There are things you can do to help your cycles…to meet God halfway. You have PCOS right? Diet and exercise go a long way. If you’re interested, let me know. I’ll share all I have!

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  12. I always so admire your faith Elisha. You are such a good example of what faith really entails, still believing when things don’t go our way and when things make absolutely no sense. I know how frustrating it is to have wonky cycles. I went over 2.5 YEARS without a single period and obviously no ovulation was occurring. I didn’t even get a period until almost 16 years old and then it was every 2-3 months. It was never normal. When I did get my cycle back after my longest drought, it was long and ovulation was never predictable. It really is one of the most frustrating things to deal with. I wanted to smack anyone who said they used an online calculator to tell them when to have sex. Yeah, I wish! ha! It even gets to the point, where even if you don’t conceive, you’re just happy to see a real period show up to know that something is still working in there!

    I’m continuing to believe with you and for you Elisha, that your cycles will regulate and that your past is not going to determine the future outcome. You are so right….He is the God of impossibles.

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  13. Our pastor (he and his wife struggled for years with infertility) often says that God’s timing is absolutely perfect. He rarely does the things we expect when we expect them. And His timing is rarely in line with our timing; we usually seem to be in more of a hurry than He is. But His ways are so much higher than our own, and His timing truly is divine.

    P.S.- I did not have a single period (that was not induced with drugs) from March 2008 and September 2011. And in college, I lived with three girls who could predict, to the day, when their next cycles would start. It always blew my mind. (: But, as you know, God is not limited by irregular, or even nearly non-existent cycles!!!

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  14. Pingback: Standing On His Promises | The Newlywed Lefebvres

  15. I share the same wonder in the fact that people actually can PLAN out when their child(ren)’s birthdays will be! I just keep telling myself that HIS timing is perfect, and that even if I could make my own little plan for this aspect of life, God’s will be so much better! You are so right about God being the God of the impossible; I want to go into his “impossible” feat like Elizabeth, and not Zechiriah- fully believing that God can do anything!

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  16. You’re an amazing person, Elisha! Your fortitude is such an inspiration. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before but whenever I’m down and nothing can cheer me up, I come to your blog and I feel soothed. Bless you for being you!

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