I wake up, take a subtle glance at the clock and quickly realize one thing,I am late. It is then followed by an ungraceful stumble out of bed while also accompanied by a frantic vibe that is automatically reinforced by the mumbling of the words“oh crap, oh crap!” I hate being late. And maybe you too?
It throws off plans, makes me rework my lists, and causes my type A personality to show itself in an ugly manner. Needless to say, it is a melancholy’s worst nightmare! And for the last five months, my body has decided it loves the word late, and not the fashionably, “cutsie” kind of late, but the kind where I basically have one menstrual cycle in the time frame an average person has two or three.
Since early spring, I’ve been 44 days, 29 days, 41 days, 40 days, 48 days and now drum roll please…56 days. This is not “normal” and there are days when I don’t pray and ask for a baby that month, but just a “normal” cycle. I can’t remember ever having one, but they exist. I have read about them online, and just a couple of weeks ago, I overheard my friend talking to another friend about how she planned both of her children’s birthday’s to be in the summer. What?! You can do that?! That’s amazing! I can’t even plan when to have “menstrual supplies” on hand, let alone what season I want my children’s birthday’s to be in. This is a planners dream! She must either have magic powers that I do not have, or a “normal” cycle. I’m going to guess with the latter. And to be honest, I want what she has. I want a normal cycle.
But what is normal when it comes to your cycle length? Medical professionals will tell you that it is anywhere between 21 to 35 days with 28 being “average”. So as it seems, my 56 day cycle is anything but “normal” or “average”. Long cycles usually equate to no ovulation. And no ovulation equates to no egg. And no egg means no baby. Therefore how am I suppose to get pregnant without a “normal” cycle? Hope and faith…that’s how.
I won’t allow the facts of my situation change my mind regarding the Truth in God’s promises of healing, or that He can do the impossible. Of course the enemy of my soul and the thief of my dreams wants to try and convince me that it is hopeless. He wants me to have those thoughts in the back of my mind that say, “Next cycle won’t be any different. In fact, it will probably continue to get longer. It isn’t ever going to change. You are the only one God isn’t doing anything for.” But I know that these are just lies spoken to my heart in order to cause me to let go of my hope and turn away from my faith. I know that God can turn this ugly situation of long cycles, mixed with unbalanced hormones, combined with years of heartache, and turn it around for His glory. How do I know this? Because He has proven Himself time and time again in His word and I have seen it happen for other people in my life. Think about it, how many stories have you heard of people who were struggling with something and then suddenly everything changed for the better? I believe God moves suddenly. And we need to wait for a sudden move from Him. We need to have hope in Him that is filled with expectancy.
This is why I am going into my next cycle expecting that God is going to suddenly show up and change in an instant what has plagued me for years. But yet at the same time, I have a peace within my soul that if my cycles continue to be long, that’s okay too.I don’t have to have a “normal” cycle to get pregnant. My charting doesn’t have to have the perfect highs and lows. My hormones don’t even need to be balanced because God is the God of impossibles, and my impossible circumstance is just more of an opportunity for His power and glory to shine.
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