Sometimes you feel like you are the only one.
The only one who has this longing. This heartache. This void. This struggle.
You walk through the aisles of the grocery store, look around in church, or sit down in a restaurant, and it seems obvious, right? Everyone else has a cart full, a pew filled, and a booth overflowing with tiny little humans they call their own. And you can’t help but take notice of them and immediately feel as though you are the only one.
The only one with empty arms.
And a bedroom that should be a nursery.
The only one who can’t join in on the conversations of motherhood.
Or have an argument with your husband on who changes the diaper.
You are the only one who can’t just look at her husband and “BAM” she gets pregnant…
Or who has bags underneath her eyes from tear-soaked pillows instead of 3 am feedings.
But one day, my heart was opened to see something more. Something different.
I was sitting on the beach for a much-needed vacation, surrounded by picture-perfect family’s. I couldn’t help but feel like everyone else around me could have babies so easily except me. But as I sat there pondering the unfairness of it all while allowing myself to grieve, I realized the truth was this: 1 in 8 suffer from infertility.
And so the momma next to me who was chasing her two-year-old? She could have been conceived after her fourth and last desperate attempt via IVF. And the family of five building sandcastles and laughing until their bellies hurt could have built their family through adoption. Or the couple to my right could have been given their miracle through the gift of surrogacy. I didn’t know. My perception might not always be their reality. Just ask the lady sitting next to me, whom I discovered was also barren yet hopeful. She didn’t know the cutie patootie that kept running up to me yelling, “Mommy! Did you see that?” was my foster princess who may or may not be with me next year. And so the perception she had of me? I was still desperately wishing and hoping would one day also become my reality.
The one lesson I continue to learn while on this journey is that we don’t know another person’s story or the struggles they are currently facing. I don’t know the barriers they had to bust through or the mountains they had to climb. And so I can’t be so quick to compare and judge or so swift to believe the lie that I am the only one hurting. Left out. Because the fact is I am 1 in 8. The lady sitting beside is 1 in 8. And many of the families surrounding me? They could also be 1 in 8.
Together we are 1 in 8. And together, we will overcome.
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If you are looking for a faith-based infertility community of other women who “get it,” then head over to the *PRIVATE* Waiting for Baby Bird Support group for hope + encouragement. There you will find opportunities to ask for prayer, watch *LIVE* encouragement videos from me, author of “Waiting for Baby Bird,” as well as be able to share your heart with others on the same path, enter into exclusive giveaways, and so much more! So what are you waiting for? Find us here!