It has been over a year since I quit spending wasting my money on Ovulation Prediction Kits. I didn’t see the point since I never saw a smiley face, a blinky face, or any other type of face besides my own pouty face after each test. However, four weeks ago while shopping in Target and feeling hopeful for my upcoming cycle, I decided to lift my boycott and give them another go around. I told myself (and the box) they had one last chance to flash me a smile.
Therefore, in the last 20 days my morning ritual has consisted of me staggering to the bathroom, fumbling with the foil wrapper, grumbling at the foil wrapper for not opening, eventually opening the incredibly thick foil wrapper, before finally dropping my undergarments and then peeing on the expensive stick (all while thinking to myself how silly it is for me to pee on something worth so much). Once the deed was done, I then returned to the bathroom five minutes later to see the same result I have seen for years…a circle. I sometimes also perform the same routine (minus the staggering part) later in the afternoon ‘just in case’ the smiley face has decided to show up fashionably late. Unfortunately, whether it’s 6am or 3pm, I have yet to see a smiley face.
That is until today…
Today, I changed up my morning ritual by adding an ‘extra step’. After staggering to the bathroom, fumbling with the foil wrapper, grumbling at the foil wrapper, and then finally opening the foil wrapper, I stopped. I stopped and I prayed. It was not a prayer of begging, but rather one in which I boldly approached my Poppa God and asked Him to do something only He could do and that was give me a smile.
Poppa God,
I come to you this morning and after 20 days of seeing nothing but a circle, I ask that you show yourself strong and bless me with a smiley face on this stupid test. Your word says in the book of Psalms that you hear my prayers and you will not reject my pleas; therefore, I am confident and hopeful to see my first smile today.
After the prayer, I continued my routine of dropping my undergarments, peeing on the expensive stick (while once again rolling my eyes at the foolishness of basically peeing on money), and then setting it on the counter before walking to my office. It was approximately ten minutes later when I heard my husband walk down the hallway and while standing in the doorway he said, “You got a smiley face.” I turned around and with a confused look on my face I said, “Uh?” He once again repeated, “You got a smiley face.” Still unsure as to what he was talking about, I responded with another (but more aggravated) “Uh?” However as he began to repeat, “You got a smiley face” for the third time, my hands flew over my mouth as I remembered the test, the prayer, and the smile I so desperately wanted to see. As tears began to quickly fill my eyes, all I could say was, “It did?! You can see a smile?” He nodded his head yes and I could hardly believe it!
As I ran to the bathroom to look at the smiley face with my own two eyes, I realized I had no idea what a smiley face meant, I just knew I wanted one. Therefore, after digging the box out of the bathroom cabinet, I began reading the instructions and discovered that since I had a circle (no chance of ovulation at this time) yesterday, I should have had a blinky smiley face (ovulation coming soon) today and then possibly a solid smiley face (get jiggy with it because ovulation is happening now) tomorrow; however, not me! I went straight from a circle yesterday to a solid smile today. I started to panic and get aggravated thinking maybe my body and hormones were still wacky, but then I remembered my prayer and started to laugh at myself. I should have been more specific because I did not ask God for a blinky smiley face, I simply asked Him for a smile and that’s exactly what He gave me.
It has been hours since I first saw my ‘smile’ and I still get chills thinking about the power of prayer. I also cannot stop thinking about James 4:2 which says, “You do not have because you do not ask.” I know it sounds simple, but we have to pray and ask for what we want or need. I don’t do that. I don’t pray. Do not get me wrong, I do pray and I pray a lot, but I do not pray for me. Instead, I am praying for my friends who are also waiting for their breakthrough, or the woman I heard who needs healing. I am praying for Goldilocks and her Mama or for those who have lost all hope and those who have never found it.
I am praying for others and seeing my prayers answered, which is great, but I am not praying for myself and as a result, my life is not changing. For months I have not prayed for my baby bird to make his appearance soon. I have quit praying for my cycles to become regular (or at the very least shorter than 70 days) and I cannot remember the last time I prayed for ovulation to start taking place. Many of you might be asking, “Well, why the heck not?!?” I too began asking myself that very same question today and the answer was very clear and simple. I do not pray for myself because sometimes I forget, but mostly because I feel as though if I have worked the situation over in my mind, talked about it long enough with others, complained about it with my husband, or even blogged about it for the world to read, then its the same thing as prayer. But thinking, hoping, and talking with others is not prayer, only talking with the Father is prayer.
So today, take a lesson from me and do not let your prayerlessness hinder God from working in your life. Boldly come to Him with your requests because He is waiting to also give you a smile today (and no I don’t mean the one on the ovulation prediction test, unless of course that’s what you need).
“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7 (NLT)
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