Diary of an Infertile: Moving Beyond the Shadows of Doubt

I wasn’t sure why I had walked in there, but “in there” I was. And it was there, in the middle of the floor of this nursery, while sitting criss-cross applesauce, I cried. Never in a million years did I imagine infertility and loss would be written in my life story. But more so, I never in a million years imagined that seven years after putting this nursery together in faith I would still be believing in faith for it to be filled with tiny fingers and wiggly toes. And so, there in the middle of the floor, so many thoughts of fear and doubt began to fill my mind as I watched each tear fall.

However, as I sat there, nearly paralyzed and numb (perhaps from the way I was sitting), I looked over to see a huge shadow of myself. I was surprised at how large the shadow was and how much it seemed distorted. Almost like a gigantic Quasimodo. But as I concentrated on it, and examined it more closely, I began to think about how I could only see the shadow because I had turned away from the light. And that was when I learned a powerful lesson: I had created the shadow by blocking the light.

You see, shadows are created all around us whenever something blocks the light coming in. And so, it is the same with the shadow of our doubts. When we focus on our impossibilities and the problems we face, or on our inadequacies or weaknesses, then we cast a shadow of doubt in our minds; blocking the light of God’s Truth from coming into our hearts. The only way to move beyond the shadow of our doubts is to position ourselves…our hearts…our minds…back towards the light. Back towards His promises. Back towards His Truth. Back towards the Cross where hope is found.

Which is what I did.

Sweet friend, if you are sitting in the shadow of doubt and living in discouragement and uncertainty of the future, get back into the light. Turn toward the Truth of what God says about you…your situation…and the dreams that He has planted within the soft fertile soil of your heart. It is only then the darkness will flee.

“Never doubt in the darkness what God has spoken to you in light.”


I would love to connect with you on a personal level, so if you liked this post, pass it on. Then click here to find Waiting for Baby Bird on the public Facebook page or join me on Instagram @waitingforbabybird. I can’t wait to “meet” you!If you are looking for a faith-based infertility community of other women who just “get it”, then head over to the *PRIVATE* Waiting for Baby Bird Support group for hope + encouragement. There you will find opportunities to ask for prayer, watch *LIVE* encouragement videos from me, author of “Waiting for Baby Bird”, as well as be able to share your heart with others on the same path, enter into exclusive giveaways, and so much more! So what are you waiting for? Find us here!

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