I can’t believe it. Another year has come and gone. And while I look back and reflect on the year 2015, it seems as though nothing changed, yet at the same time, everything changed. I know…it doesn’t make sense. But let me explain. While on the exterior, my life might look like the same. But if you dig deeper…if you look it from the inside out, you will see nothing but change. Because this year has brought so much growth within me. I find myself more patient and more accepting of God’s timeline and plan for my life. I no longer kick and scream when my plans get changed or my hopes and dreams still remain month after month. And I find myself more compassionate to those around me who are facing circumstances that cause their heart to ache and their soul to cave. I no longer leave it to someone else to pray for them or whisper hope into their ear. Instead I do it. Because isn’t that what they need? Someone in that moment to help ease their worries, calm their fears, bring them comfort, and speak life into their dry and weary bones? I think so.
And friends, this year has changed my thinking and I have made it a conscious habit to live in hope. To look for the possible inside every impossible. And to constantly expect and anticipate something amazing and far beyond what I could ever imagine to happen on any given day. As a result, I smile more. Laugh harder. And love deeper.
I have also learned to cherish the moment-seize the day. My foster princess taught me that one. Because I used to worry so much about tomorrow, never living in the joyful moments of today. But I had to stop. Because today, with her, is all I have. I never know what the next phone call from the case worker might entail. Or the next court hearing might determine. I never know if that mornings snuggle will be our last or if the birthday party we spoiled her rotten with will be the only one. I just don’t. And so I can’t spend my time worrying about the future. Instead, I have learned to live in today.
And you know what else…or shall I say who else…I am thankful for this year? It’s you. Without every single one of you supporting me, encouraging me, and praying for me, this year could have made me bitter, not better. It could have made me pitiful, not powerful. And it could have caused me to give up, not press in. So, thank you.
Friends, my number one hopeful change for the year 2015 was to grow my family by two feet and while that didn’t happen, I can’t help but still smile and be thankful for all that did. I can’t help but reflect and acknowledge that no matter what I am facing; God truly is working and weaving to cause all things to come together for my good and His glory. I can’t wait to see what He has in store for me and you in the New Year. I believe it will be nothing short of amazing.
Top 10 Most Viewed Blog Posts of 2015
You Are Not Alone: Flying Together with Broken Wings
An Open Letter to My Fertile Family
It’s Okay to Not Be Okay This Thanksgiving
My Daughter is Infertile: A Father’s Perspective
To The Childless Woman at Walmart
Infertility is More than Just the Inability to Conceive…
I Know You Hurt This Mother’s Day: A Message to the One Desiring to be Called Mommy
And a bonus #11 because I’m feeling sassy and sarcastic…
25 of the Worst Expressions to Say to Your Infertile Friend (and the responses I would like to give)
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