It’s so easy to read a story of someone else who was healed, restored, or redeemed and think…“That’s great for them. But that won’t happen for me.” And I get it. It’s sometimes our knee-jerk reaction to dismiss them as nothing more than just it being “that person’s story.” But do you know what the word testimony means? In Hebrew, it comes from a root word that means ‘do it again.’ Therefore, every time a testimony is spoken, it comes with God’s covenant to repeat the miracle. This is the reason why I have begun sharing the many testimonies sent to me through email. I want to create an atmosphere for the miracle to be duplicated. I want you to have a place to be able to come and immerse yourself in the power that testimonies can hold. Because if God did it for them, He would do it again. And why not do it again for you? After all, He does not show favoritism (Romans 2:11). Therefore, as you read, open yourself up to the possibility that what He did for them, He is not only able but also willing to do for you. May their story help bring hope and healing to yours.
I have been there. The heartache. The pain during baby showers. The tears that seem never to run dry. Every year it becomes harder and harder to cope with the reality of infertility and the struggle to do what seemed so easy for others. I remember walking through Costco last Christmas holiday and seeing a woman very pregnant. My heart hurt that the woman, whoever she was, had all I ever wanted. She was going to ring in the New Year with a child. I quickly checked out and could barely make it to my car without falling apart. I sobbed the whole way home, feeling completely heartbroken and shattered. Once I pulled into my driveway, I sat there…alone. Crying. It took some time to pull it together and go into the house where my husband was waiting. I walked into our home with tears dried as if shopping had gone without a hitch, as I had done many times over when my reality would hit me like a mac truck. Until…I got my wish. My miracle came after five years of unexplained infertility. I still can’t believe it sometimes. So, to you, the one reading this who might also know the pain and heartbreak of seeing other pregnant women and so badly wanting to experience it too, I see you. But not only do I see you, but God sees you as well. He sees your tears, and He knows the desires of your heart. After all, He is the one who put this desire for motherhood there. And He won’t leave you or abandon you with it. I, among many others, are proof that miracles still happen. Therefore, I plead with you, don’t give up hope…in Him.
My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for 3.5 years. We have both undergone fertility treatments for three of those years. I have had two surgeries to remove several uterine polyps, as well as stage two endometriosis. Recently, I was diagnosed with PCOS, which explains why I do not ovulate on my own. Oh, and did I mention we also battle malefactor? You could say the odds are stacked up against us. However, two years ago, I was praying to God, asking, “are we going to have our own biological children?” I wanted Him just to let me know if not. It was in prayer that I felt like He said, “Yes.” So, naturally, I asked, “When?” I strongly heard…”NOVEMBER.” At that time, I wasn’t sure if November was just on my mind because my sister was getting married the following November or if it was real. Fast forward to now, years later, and after 10 IUIs, we found out we are expecting! I’m still in a state of disbelief and feeling anxious! Infertility has me expecting a “catch,” BUT guess what?! Our due date is November 21st! God is faithful, and His Word will not return void.
I always knew I had an imbalance somewhere during my teen years. I just knew something wasn’t right. I self-diagnosed with having PCOS when I was 24. Something I had never heard of or knew anyone that had it. I researched and researched and concluded that “yep, this is what I have.” However, I was too scared to go to the doctor. I was scared to hear the “you’ll never have children speech.” So, over the course of four years, I struggled with the daily battles that PCOS causes along with infertility. I hid my pain as best as possible, but my husband knew something needed to be done. Therefore, in December of 2017, we decided that we would make the dreaded doctor appointments the next year and consequently deal with whatever life was about to throw at us. In January of 2018, I received my monthly Ipsy bag, and in it was a card saying, “I will conquer (insert blank).” Of course, I filled in the blank with infertility! To me, that was the sign I needed, and I made my first appointment that same month. It was confirmed PCOS was indeed the cause of our issues during that appointment, but my doctor informed me, “you’re still young; let’s wait it out.” I was 28 and wasn’t too sure about this. After all, I thought to myself, “I’ve waited long enough!!” But, despite the feelings in my gut, I followed his plan to “wait it out.” However, in May, I decided I had waited too long. At this point, I was 29, and I didn’t want to wait forever! So, I went in for a consultation with another doctor, and she insisted upon prescribing me birth control and metformin to help regulate my blood sugar and get my hormones on the right track. I walked out of the office that day with such hope that I hadn’t felt in quite a long time! The next few months consisted of ultrasound after ultrasound and blood work after blood work. Over the course of several months, my body started to function properly, and for the first time, I felt great. In fact, I was producing and doing everything I should be for the first time in a very long time. In August, we stopped birth control. September comes yet another negative pregnancy test. And same with October. We completed yet another ultrasound at the end of October to check my follicles. I had great follicles, and the ultrasound technician was astounded by how great they looked in such a short time. On November 20th, I got up for work at 5 am and took yet again another test. Because I had been through this routine so many times before, I laid it on the bathtub and went about getting ready for work thinking, “it’ll just be negative, so I’m not even going to look until I go to put it in the trash!” My husband went to leave, and I thought I might as well check before he leaves, and it was POSITIVE! I ran it out to him, and we could not believe it! Luckily, I already had an appointment scheduled for the 21st as a follow-up, and it was confirmed during that appointment that it was very much positive. My first ultrasound was scheduled for December 20th; however, on December 18th, I had some spotting. I called the doctor and immediately went in for an ultrasound to see our baby on the screen for the first time. I watched the heartbeat dance across the screen, and it was amazing; a dream come true. But the story doesn’t end there because we saw something extra on that screen. There wasn’t just one baby, but TWO! Maverick Lane and Jaxon Kole were born on June 25th at 5 weeks early. Maverick weighing 4lbs and 14 ounces, and Jaxon weighing 4lbs 3 ounces. The boys had a short NICU stay, but we are all home and doing wonderfully. Every day, I wake up thinking it’s been a dream, and then I get to see the two most beautiful boys. It’s so surreal to have the dream you never thought you’d have come true…and to have it come true times two! We are truly blessed with these two boys, and I must pinch myself every morning to make sure this is still real life. To the one reading this, please never give up. Never lose faith. Even when everything fails, even with another negative test result, and even when you feel like the world is falling apart all around you…DONT LOSE HOPE! Trust God. He has a plan for each one of us. I conquered infertility in 2018, and I pray that somehow and in some way, you will one day conquer it too.
I just wanted to share something with you and possibly the other ladies as well… My husband and I have been praying for a baby for about 4 years. In May, I finally went to a RE for fertility testing for the first time after 4 years of not one positive pregnancy test. They did a lot of blood work, called me back a week later, and told me my AMH was zero. Reran the test, and it was zero again. We were told our options were IVF or adoption; we were so upset. June 30th, our preacher preached a message on Hezekiah and Isaiah and how Hezekiah brought his burden (the letter) to the Lord. At the end of the message, our preacher encouraged us to write our burden down and bring it to the Lord. I wrote down my burden, and we prayed over it. At the end of the service, our preacher said, “I believe some miracles are going to happen.” Of course, I was praying that the miracle would be our baby! Two days later, at work, I took a pregnancy test because I was a couple of days late and having some odd symptoms. And it was positive! I know that was God’s miracle! After 4 years of trying, we had just been told it would never happen, but God had a miracle in store for us! Don’t give up, no matter what those lab levels say! God is the ultimate physician!
After 10 years of trying, countless medications, surgeries, needles, tests…more tests…and more medications, nothing worked. However, last Christmas Eve, we conceived on our own despite having only one fallopian tube; sadly, in the middle of January, we found out it wasn’t going to be a viable pregnancy. I was heartbroken! But low and behold, at the end of February, we got pregnant again with our miracle rainbow baby. She will be eight weeks next week, and each time I look at her, I have to pinch myself! Miracles happen every day! So, don’t lose hope!
He Settles the Barren: Stories to Inspire Hope (Part 2)
He Settles the Barren: Stories to Inspire Hope (Part 3)
If you have a testimony that you would like to share, please email me at waitingforbabybird@gmail.com.
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