Has infertility slowly eaten away at your marriage? Have you gone from the once passionate “spark” to just a mere flicker? It’s hard to admit, but I know that I have let infertility, which is like a moth, slowly eat away at my marriage over the last three years. It hasn’t taken big bites or caused us to even remotely contemplate divorce, but rather it has slowly taken little nibbles here and there. Nibbles that have often times caused tension, a lack of communication, sometimes arguments, but most of all, a lack of intimacy. These little nibbles have undoubtedly reduced the “spark” in our marriage and I so desperately want it back. Therefore, I have decided it is time to start “dating” my husband again.
If you remember, I wrote a post at the end of August called Reigniting the Spark, and in this post, I gave a chapter review for the book Ever Upward which was written by the lovely and talented author and blogger Justine Brooks Froelker. Within this post, I discussed how she and her husband had lost the “spark” that once burned within their marriage and how important it became for her to make their relationship and connection with one another a top priority. One idea she had in order to reignite the flame was plan and even pre-purchase a “special” date for each month within the year. What a fabulous idea!
I thought this was such a fun and creative way to reconnect so I took her advice and planned 12 special “dates” that I would surprise my dearest and sweetest hunk-a-burnin-love with each month for the next 12 months. I decided that on the first day of every month (starting in September), he would open the mysterious envelope and together we would pick (and commit) to a special day in which we would fulfill the promised date night (or weekend) activity. I can’t even begin to tell you how exciting it was to watch him open the first envelope on September 1st…he was like a little child opening up a long anticipated Christmas gift. Which was absolutely adorable and I could barely contain the excitement myself because I just knew he would be stoked!
When planning our first “special” date, I thought of a place that for the past four years he had always wanted to visit but due to busy schedules or me just not acting enthused when he would mention it, we have never been. That special place is called the Garden of the Gods. It is approximately one hour away from our home and has the most breathtaking views, gorgeous scenery and beautiful extremely tiring hiking trials. I am terrified of heights and not much of an outdoorsy kind of gal so my idea of fun is not rock climbing nor sweating up and down trials, but the handsome hubby loves all things outdoors and I knew he would think this was the most amazing date ever. Which he did and I must admit that I had a great time as well.
While on our venture, we joked around for hours over the fact that when we first arrived I had put on my big girl panties in order to climb four feet up a rock so that I could take a gorgeous picture of the scenery. However, once the picture was snapped and it was time to move onward I became too scared to come back down. In fact, I was so set on not coming down that I even told Daniel to just go ahead without me. And I was serious! I was perfectly content with staying there all night if I had too. He on the other hand was not okay with this and nicely but firmly told me to get down. I obeyed.
We also later laughed when we realized I had forgotten to pack water to go with our picnic lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I know! Seriously?! Who goes on a several hour hike, packs peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but forgets water? Apparently this girl! However this girl, who was also on cycle day three, did remember to pack her Swiss Cake Roll for dessert. Choclolate! Yummo! Here is my husband’s thirsty face in response to the realization he didn’t have water to wash down the sticky peanut buttered bread that was stuck to the roof of his mouth…
We also connected together on a whole new level as he helped me overcome my fear of heights and encouraged me to fulfill one of my dreams of sitting on the edge of a cliff. Many of you might be asking why on earth would I even want to risk my life doing this. Well, it’s because it looks totally awesome in pictures! (Yes, I will apparently risk my life for a good picture.) I must admit that I have never been so scared in my life and I can’t even begin to tell you the amount of panic attacks, prayers, and tears that occurred before the amazing picture of the day could be captured. I discovered the best way to sit on the edge of a cliff is to hunker down close to the rock, slowly crawl before then crab walking to the edge. It took many tries and several times of me screaming, “I can’t do this” before finally getting the most breathtaking picture ever! I can’t thank my dear hubby enough for all of his encouragement and patience! I wouldn’t have been able to keep getting back on that rock in order to overcome my fear if it weren’t for him and his amazing pep talks. Not to mention the look on his face that at one point kinda said, “you are being a baby” that sparked a fire inside of me to just do it and get it over with.
After my death-defying photo shoot, we journeyed out on to a trail for a one hour forever long hike. It started out as fun, adventurous and exciting until I realized there were no other humans within sight (nor could I hear any) and my husband kept secretly pulling out his map to examine our location. Often times our limited conversation would go as follows:
Daniel: (Closely examining the map…again.)
Me: (While looking around) So where are we at champ?
Daniel: (Looks up from the map) Oh just moving along…
Me: (Voice a little shaky) So we are lost…?
Daniel: Do you trust me?
Me: (Silence)
Dan: Do you know the key to navigating?
(Pauses)
Dan: Getting lost a couple of times.
Me: So we ARE lost!
Dan: (very calmly) No.
Me: I haven’t seen another human for almost an hour
Dan: Oh…they are around…
Me: You know what is worse than going hiking and getting lost?
Dan: What?
Me: Going hiking, getting lost and being on your menstrual cycle.
Dan: Don’t share this conversation on Facebook.
As you can see there were not many “in-depth” conversations occurring while on our hike. This was primarily due to me being out of shape and unable to talk, walk and breath all at the same time. I am sure my husband enjoyed the quietness since I am normally the world’s fastest chatter box. Not to mention I was in complete survival mode and didn’t want to waste any of my energy talking. I needed to conserve as much as possible so that I could keep moving in order to safely make it back to civilization. hehe!
All in all we had a great time! My hope for this trip was to have fun, connect together and reignite the spark and I think we did just that. So the question now is what’s next? Well, today is October 1st and as soon as my husband comes home from his business trip later this evening, I will have waiting for him the next “date card” and even a little surprise gift to get him all “geared” up for our next adventure. I must say this next date will be more adventurous than the first, especially for this city girl.
To be continued…
