Curb or eliminate caffeine.
Eat all organic meat.
Limit carbohydrates.
Eat dark, leafy greens such as kale, spinach, and broccoli.
Drink Raspberry Leaf Tea
Increase your consumption of dairy products.
But decrease if you have been diagnosed with PCOS.
Avoid diet drinks, alcohol, and artificial sweeteners.
Take folic acid and prenatal vitamins daily.
Not so bad, right? Especially when all of your sources have guaranteed “The Fertility Diet” will cause a supercharged, go-go gadget boost to your fertility. This is why, for the last several months, you have changed your diet by adopting the suggestions. For example, you said sayonara to your favorite carbohydrates of cheeseburgers, fried chicken, pizza, french fries, and bread. You painfully wrote an open letter to your caffeinated morning coffee and afternoon sodas, informing the two of them you would need to take a break. (This was only after you felt guilty for cheating on them with their less tasty decaffeinated half cousins.) And your artificial sweeteners and afternoon snack of Twinkies also got a “Dear John” letter…sniff, sniff.
And your usual breakfast of Cinnamon Toast Crunch? It has been replaced with a spinach smoothie, followed by a large glass of milk (mainly to wash it down, but you tell yourself it’s for the calcium boost). And your lunch consists of a healthy kale salad, chased down with a tall glass of raspberry tea you previously steeped for 24 hours (GROSS!) and every night while you have been choking down the broccoli that is covering over half your plate, while your husband has been making “Mmmm!” sounds because he is enjoying the macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, and rolls (smothered in butter) that is overflowing from his. You have even turned your backyard into a livestock show as you now raise your own chickens, cows, and pigs to adhere to the “all organic” meat rule.
It has been months since you started this new diet, and how has it worked for you? Not so well? Let’s face it; it’s just not fair! It seems that other women can have a completely unhealthy diet of loaded processed foods and get pregnant easily, or worse, “by accident.” You are starting to wonder what the point is to all the diet changes since it doesn’t seem to be changing the number of people in your next family photo? Therefore today (and probably today only), your “fertility-friendly” diet has turned into the “who cares because I haven’t gotten pregnant” diet. So what does your revised “fertility diet” look like?
Well, give a hallelujah and shout good morning again to your caffeinated coffee; it tastes better anyway! Say adios to raspberry leaf tea because it has now been replaced with raspberry chocolate layered cake. You understand it’s not a better alternative, and it won’t increase your fertility, but it sure tastes better with the glass of milk after the nasty green smoothie. And eating dark leafy greens at every meal? BORING! You have decided a tastier alternative will be green M&M’s followed by a handful of green skittles. What about that glass of milk you have been drinking after your morning smoothie to increase your calcium intake? You have now replaced it with a bowl of ice cream (adorned with green sprinkles) after dinner and the extra vitamins you took before bed? Whoops! You already forgot them today…and yesterday…(I won’t ask you about the day before…it can be your secret…)
You know what? You are trying the best you can. The teenage girl didn’t get pregnant eating dark leafy greens every day, nor did she ensure that she consumed a complete serving of fruits of vegetables, so don’t beat yourself up if you don’t either. Don’t get me wrong. I believe we should all be good stewards of our bodies, which is why my fertility diet tip consists of you eating as healthy as you can, taking your vitamins when you remember, having the occasional yummy treat (more so if you see a negative pregnancy test), and enjoying your life by not obsessing or stressing, but rather laughing your way through infertility as well as other life troubles.
Thank you for reading this week’s edition of “Laughing Your Way through Infertility.” And as always, I hope you have a great week, and don’t forget to find time to laugh and enjoy the journey while you are on the path to reaching your destination.
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