Diary of an Infertile: When You Need Your Father

It was 6 am and warm tears slowly fell from my cheeks that still had the imprints from my comforter still on them. I had scribbled in my journal my thoughts, the ones I would be embarrassed if anyone stumbled upon and read. I wasn’t complaining, but just explaining to God that I can’t seem…

36 Years Old and Still Barren

I turn the big 3-6 today (a baby to some…old to others) And I can’t believe it. Never in my plans as a high school student, college student, or career woman in my middle 20’s did I imagine life would look like it does now. Is my life bad? No. But does it look anything…

Your Anxiety Is Showing—Better Tuck That Back In

  “Your anxiety is showing—better tuck that back in,” whispered the little voice inside my head. “After all, you don’t want anyone to know about the sadness you sometimes feel without cause, or the depression you must fight away.” Anxiety has a way of sneaking into your day, into your thoughts and into your routine.…

Will Josiah Have a Twin?

Sometimes I write to encourage, other times I write to record. And this one? Well, it’s simply to record; because I don’t know about you, but as the years go by, I often forget the details held within a story. This is why I wrote about my friend’s sweet dream and the time a man…

She is Pregnant and I am Not

My morning alarm goes off and I stumble out of bed and into the kitchen. I make myself a cup of coffee and retreat to my office to check my email. The first message I see, and open, is from another infertility sister. I do not know her personally, but as she begins telling me…