Today, on Josiah Day, I sat outside his room. Am I pregnant? No. Am I pregnant with hope? Some days I am. Some days it’s a struggle. Today, it's a struggle. (Whew. Deep breath.) It’s been over 8 years since I heard in my spirit that I would have a son and to name him… Continue reading God Made Me a Promise. But Perhaps I Got It Wrong.
You would think after five years of nightly dinner time prayers and bedtime pleadings for a sibling that she would stop making her requests. I know there are days I can’t even mutter the words—at least not with the same fiery faith that her prayers contain. However, despite the years that have gone by with… Continue reading She Wants to Be a Big Sister–So She Prays
February 17th. It’s a special kind of day; my Dad’s birthday. It’s also the day I receive a rose from him in honor of Josiah Day. It all started five years ago when he had a red rose delivered to my home; it represented the love God has for me and my dreams. The next… Continue reading Shamed, But Unashamed
I wasn't sure why I had walked in there, but "in there" I was. And it was there, in the middle of the floor of this nursery, while sitting criss-cross applesauce, I cried. Never in a million years did I imagine infertility and loss would be written in my life story. But more so, I… Continue reading Moving Beyond the Shadows of Doubt
"What is this?" I said as I pulled out a baby bottle nearly filled with poppy seeds. My husband and I had just moved into our new home a couple of months ago, and last week I decided to tackle the only room left that needed to be unpacked and organized. What room was it… Continue reading The Day I Realized I Had Stopped Dreaming