Waiting for Baby Bird

The Only One with Infertility

Elisha

Sometimes you feel like you are the only one.

The only one who has this longing. This heartache. This void. This struggle.

You walk through the aisles of the grocery store, look around in church, or sit down in a restaurant, and it seems obvious, right? Everyone else has a cart full, a pew filled, and a booth overflowing with tiny little humans they call their own. And you can’t help but take notice of them and immediately feel as though you are the only one.

The only one with empty arms.

And a bedroom that should be a nursery.

The only one who can’t join in on the conversations of motherhood.

Or have an argument with your husband on who changes the diaper.

You are the only one who can’t just look at her husband and “BAM” she gets pregnant…

Or who has bags underneath her eyes from tear-soaked pillows instead of 3 am feedings.

But one day, my heart was opened to see something more. Something different.

I was sitting on the beach for a much-needed vacation, surrounded by picture-perfect family’s. I couldn’t help but feel like everyone else around me could have babies so easily except me. But as I sat there pondering the unfairness of it all while allowing myself to grieve, I realized the truth was this: 1 in 8 suffer from infertility.

And so the momma next to me who was chasing her two-year-old? She could have been conceived after her fourth and last desperate attempt via IVF. And the family of five building sandcastles and laughing until their bellies hurt could have built their family through adoption. Or the couple to my right could have been given their miracle through the gift of surrogacy. I didn’t know. My perception might not always be their reality. Just ask the lady sitting next to me, whom I discovered was also barren yet hopeful. She didn’t know the cutie patootie that kept running up to me yelling, “Mommy! Did you see that?” was my foster princess who may or may not be with me next year. And so the perception she had of me? I was still desperately wishing and hoping would one day also become my reality.

The one lesson I continue to learn while on this journey is that we don’t know another person’s story or the struggles they are currently facing. I don’t know the barriers they had to bust through or the mountains they had to climb. And so I can’t be so quick to compare and judge or so swift to believe the lie that I am the only one hurting. Left out. Because the fact is I am 1 in 8. The lady sitting beside is 1 in 8. And many of the families surrounding me? They could also be 1 in 8.

Together we are 1 in 8. And together, we will overcome.

I would love to connect with you personally, so if you liked this post, pass it on; then come find Waiting for Baby Bird on the public Facebook page or join me on Instagram @waitingforbabybird. I can’t wait to “meet” you!

If you are looking for a faith-based infertility community of other women who “get it,” then head over to the *PRIVATE* Waiting for Baby Bird Support group for hope + encouragement. There you will find opportunities to ask for prayer, watch *LIVE* encouragement videos from me, author of “Waiting for Baby Bird,” as well as be able to share your heart with others on the same path, enter into exclusive giveaways, and so much more! So what are you waiting for? Find us here! 

30 thoughts on “The Only One with Infertility”

  1. Your words… I love you so much. You aren’t alone… I see you, I hear you.

    Xoxo Katharine

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  3. I wish their was a love button for this post. Every time I read your blog posts I’m reminded that I’m not alone in this and I love everything you write. Never stop writing such beautiful things ❤

    1. Awe! Thank you so much! That is seriously so sweet of you to say! And yes girl, you are not alone! xo

  4. You are so right! Recently one of the woman in my Bible study group told me how lucky I was to have had my baby boy. She has a daughter and was pregnant with a second baby. I could see that she wanted to make sure that I know that not everyone fall pregnant so easily. I had previously heard that both her pregnancies was the result of IVF. What she did not know was that I have Pcos and was also only able to fall pregnant after my second IVF. Then during another one of our Bible study gatherings one of the other woman who also had a son tearfully shared that she had fallen pregnant with her boy also through IVF and had now fallen pregnant naturally. So out of our group of about 15 woman atleast 3 of us had fertility problems.

    We are not alone and you dear Elisha am not alone in this!

    I am extreamly greatful that my IVF was successful and that I have been blessed with a beautiful baby boy. But I still understand the heart ache and pain of infertility and my heart still bleeds for every woman stuggling with infertility and all the qeustions and doubts that goes with it.

    I am praying for you!

    1. Isn’t it so crazy, yet so comforting at the same time to hear of these other women who also struggled? It’s so important for us to share our stories. Thank you so much for sharing yours and also sharing such amazing encouragement to those still in the trenches. You are awesome!

  5. I understand the feeling but just know you are definitely not alone. If you ever go through it, you never forget the struggle. So many times I felt like this! For so many years. ❤

  6. I needed this so much! I am having such a bad day I just want to curl up and cry.
    Maybe one day we will succeed and we will have our little miracles in our arms and maybe one day a different woman will look at us and think the same thing we are now.
    Thank you for cheering up my day 🙂
    Sending much love!

  7. This is so true. Took me four years struggle now I’m blessed with my third on the way, we never know everyone’s stories xx xx

  8. wow! Such a powerful post, you are not alone and it is wonderful that more people like you are sharing their experiences. It connects everyone that much more. Much love to you!

  9. I lost it at: “And a bedroom that should be a nursery…” because I am reading this standing in that bedroom. I am also 1 in 8.

  10. Just an update, the ratio was 1 in 8, but in a few short years it’s now 1 in 4… that’s over double. I thought your article must have been older but it looks like it was written recently so you may want to update that part. I’m one of those 1 in 4 ❤

  11. At my fertility clinic, the top clinic in Canada, all the brochures and education material say 1 in 4. That number seems pretty legitimate, in this side of the world anyway :).

  12. I was blessed with a sweet little boy after years of struggles and have yet again been struggling for years now to fall pregnant again. I struggle everyday with the thought of being able to have another child and at the same time I feel so guilty because I think I should be satisfied with the blessing I have been given. We really don’t ever know what someone else is going through. Your posts always help through the hard days though. Thank you.

  13. I hope one day your dream will come true, there are no magic words that will make everything OK but everyone in your life is rooting for you for it to happen, whether that has been vocalised or not it’s like an unspoken truth.

  18. Thank you for sharing. I know that it’s challenging, but don’t lose hope. I know what you mean about how easy it just seemed for everyone else to get pregnant. I wish I had your perspective when I was struggling because I was so jealous of others, I didn’t think about what they may have gone through to have their child. My husband and I tried for six years before we could conceive. We had gone through infertility treatments, cut out coffee, bought cookbooks for infertility…you name it. In the end, we ended up getting pregnant naturally. I recently started a blog to give back to others and to offer hope now that I can. I hope you get a chance to read it and that it will offer you some encouragement. God bless.

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