Eight months ago she sat in my living room and with tears filling her eyes and falling down her cheeks, she said, “I just want it to be me…I just don’t know why God has asked me to wait. I don’t know why He has called me to not pursue further treatments.” And with those tears and those words, I instantly felt the pain in her heart because I understand her struggle. I felt the unfairness. And I too questioned God and His plans for my life.
Because like my friend, I look around at others who have given birth to miracle babies through the process of advanced medical treatments such as In vitro fertilization (IVF) and I silently whisper, “I just want it to be me…” And why can’t it be me? Why has God called me to not pursue them? Why has he drafted me a battle plan that looks drastically different from the world’s plan, my doctor’s plan, and the plan of others facing similar odds and circumstances?
It just doesn’t make sense.
Yet I have come to realize that there are times in life when the battle plan we have been given to obtain the victory we want, won’t make sense. It will look foolish. This was true for the Israelites and the battle they fought for Jericho.
A six-foot wide wall that stood 50 feet high and six-feet thick encircled the ancient city. Humanly speaking, the mud brick wall appeared to be a fortress unable to overcome. A city impossible to conquer. Yet God had promised them victory. But friends? His battle plan seemed a bit silly. A bit senseless. And down right confusing.
Your entire army is to march around the city once a day for six days. On the seventh day you are to march around the city seven times, with the priests blowing the trumpets… (Joshua 6:3-4)
As I sit here reading this story today, I wonder what Joshua and his men thought about in regards to these odd instructions. Every soldier in camp must have wondered why. Why not shoot large flaming arrows over the walls? Or better yet, scale the walls at night and attack them with their weaponry when the enemy would least expect it? Because doesn’t that more sense? I think it does. But obviously God and I do not have the same thoughts. Because instead He told the mighty warriors who were ready for battle to put away their swords and silently circle the city.
Can you imagine? It sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? And sweet friend, that is what you might be thinking in regards to the battle plan you have been given. Because maybe God has been asking you to do some strange things in your fight against infertility. Perhaps like me, you have prayed for a child but He has asked you to take a break or stop pursuing medical treatments. Or could it be that He has led you down the path of medical assistance, yet as the months roll by, nothing seems to be working. Nothing seems to be changing. Nothing seems to make any sense. And it can be frustrating because you want a new plan. A plan that doesn’t involve marching around the same impossible wall. A plan that doesn’t leave you confused. Frustrated. Or feeling ridiculous as you chase after a dream month after month.
But sweet friend, no matter how confused, frustrated, or ridiculous you might feel, don’t give up now. Keep pressing on! Continue to stay obedient to the plan He has given you. Continue to circle the promise He has spoken. Continue to pursue the desire He has birthed in your heart. God has never lost a battle and I guarantee He won’t start now.
In fact, my friend that I mentioned at the beginning of this post? The one who was upset because she felt God calling her to not seek treatments and wait? She got the shock of her life just four months later when she discovered that she was pregnant naturally. It wasn’t always easy for her to follow God’s plan. But as it turned out, it had the greatest reward.
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