Josiah Day, Waiting for Baby Bird

Did God Really Say…?

Elisha

But Did God Really Say

Happy Cabbage Day! (No, really it is) And Happy Josiah Day! GAG! Yep. That’s right. Gag. This has been my shamefully awful attitude today, and so I am going to be ugly and honest with you for a second. Is that okay? I am more than two weeks late, so against all hope, I decided to take a home pregnancy test this morning. After all, who likes wasting money and peeing on expensive things?

Apparently, this girl!

So I did. I will spare you the details of how I scurried to the bathroom this morning in anticipation. I will leave out the details of when I held the test up in different angles and instead jump to the part in which I tell you that no matter what angle or which light or how much I squinted or hopped on one foot, I saw the same one-liner that continues to stare up at me cycle after cycle and year after year.

But that’s not the ugly, honest part. The ugly honest part is that I wasn’t bummed. No mam! Instead, I was a HOT MESS.  Because, friends, I let out a cry. And it wasn’t the kind of cry you do while trying not to be noticed as you quietly sniffle or hold back the tears. This was the kind of cry that is U.G.L.Y. and would have put most girls on The Bachelor who didn’t receive a rose to absolute shame.

And sister-roo, as if that wasn’t enough, I grumbled, screamed, and shook my fist to the heavens. Why did she (I won’t mention names) and she (once again, I better not even put initials) get babies, and I don’t? They aren’t any better than me. I keep my nose clean. So what’s the deal? Oh, I know! It’s because God didn’t tell me I was going to have children, and I “made it all up in my head.” That’s what it is. Because I mean seriously…Did God really say…?

These coincidentally are the same words that Satan whispered to Eve in the Garden of Eden to get her to doubt God’s word and cause her to think He might even be strict and stingy. Which (clears throat) were also my thoughts in the bathroom this morning. So, while most days, when I think about that part of the story, and I sit back in my chair and judge her or shake my finger and say, “Oh, Eve, Eve, Eve! Stand firm! What were you thinking?” I can’t do it today. Because I almost became her.

The serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’? Gen. 3:1

Although I wasn’t tempted with an apple, I did have a white flag dangling in my face. And I almost picked it up and waved it vigorously in the air. But thankfully, right before I did, I considered the source because the words I heard and the voice it came from weren’t from my Poppa God. They didn’t bring me peace. They didn’t bring me comfort. Or joy. Or hope. Instead, they brought me to despair. Sadness. Anger. Jealousy. And doubt, which all come from Satan, the father of lies.

And friend, maybe you are reading this and thinking about waving the white flag. If so, can I urge you to stop and consider the source first? Can I ask that you listen to the voice whispering in your ear? What emotions do you have when you hear the words? What thoughts come to your mind when you hear the voice? If it doesn’t bring you peace and hope and comfort and joy, then don’t listen. And if it is causing you despair and to doubt what God has already spoken to you, then don’t give in.

“God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” Numbers 23:19

With Love

And if you are confused as to what Josiah Day is, then go here. It’s worth the read.

“For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him, the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God.” 2 Corinthians 1:20

“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

“The Lord will grant you abundant prosperity–in the fruit of your womb…” Deuteronomy 28:11

“The fruit of your womb will be blessed…” Deuteronomy 28:4

“I will look on you with favor and make you fruitful and increase your numbers, and I will keep my covenant with you.” Leviticus 26:9

“You will be blessed more than any other people; none of your men or women will be childless…” Deuteronomy 7:14

“He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord!” Psalm 113:9

I would love to connect with you personally, so if you liked this post, pass it on. Then come find Waiting for Baby Bird on the public Facebook page or join me on Instagram @waitingforbabybird. I can’t wait to “meet” you!

If you are looking for a faith-based infertility community of other women who “get it,” then head over to the *PRIVATE* Waiting for Baby Bird Support group for hope + encouragement. There, you will find opportunities to ask for prayer, watch *LIVE* encouragement videos from me, author of “Waiting for Baby Bird,” enter into exclusive giveaways, as well as be able to share your heart with others on the same path, and so much more! So what are you waiting for? Find us here!

78 thoughts on “Did God Really Say…?”

  1. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I really needed to read this.
    My husband and I are still working on our miracle, and I have been struggling with that question, ‘did God really say this?’
    Thank you for reminding me to consider the source.
    I love and appreciate your FB posts and brutal honesty. 🙂

    1. Ahhh I am so stinkin glad I decided to stay up late and post this! I went back and forth with it because it’s hard being open and transparent sometimes, right? But I just knew that if I was wavering, then there are lots of other women who are wavering. And they need to hear this message of hope and truth too. Love ya girl! Hang in there! xo

  2. This was my day today! I took another pregnancy test, probably too early and in the middle of the day just because I was compelled to. And it was another negative…and I tried so hard to cling to God’s goodness, but it was difficult.

    Thank you for posting this today. God is using it to help me and encourage me through this journey of faith. Praying with you and standing in faith with you!
    ~CaseyMay

    1. Hey girl! I am so sorry it was a negative. I am hoping that it was just too early anyway. But even if not, I am believing that God has great plans for you and they include give you the desires of your heart. So don’t give up and keep your eyes on Him. He can’t and won’t let you down. xo

  4. Awesome post…I am reminded of one of my favorite songs by Casting Crowns – Voice of Truth! Which one will WE choose to listen to…Thank you for the reminder to choose wisely each and everyday if not every moment! LOL

  5. boy oh boy your words Elisha are just so special! You really got me this time because there were words that crept in earlier this week saying that perhaps God doesn’t want me to have a baby, and they brought me sadness and despair and feelings I didn’t like. I love it when u just recognize WAIT! And u can say no that is NOT but my God wants for me – for us! Cast it out and praise God for all the miracles he brings and this life which is so richly blessed because I know the king! Now that made those thoughts of anguish pass pretty quickly so thank you!!! It helped to read this and be sure of His way! Having ugly moments helps, it’s all part of the process that brings us closer to Him xx

    1. You are so right about the ugly moments because they do bring us closer to Him and they help refine us into who He wants us to be. Love ya sugars! Hang in there! xo

  6. Thank for this post! I needed to hear it so badly. Today is CD39. I have not taken a test, because I can’t bear the single line. I am struggling so badly with it. I want to take one, but so many times before I have and sure enough – the line is the only thing staring back at me. Not the plus, not the two lines…. the white with one little line. 🙁 They should be made with sad faces instead. You’re giving me the strength I need to take a test, and accept the results whatever they may be. Thank you, thank you!

    1. Take it when you are ready sugars. I would have never taken one if it hadn’t been for Josiah Day and I thought…”why not.” Because for me, my period starting is less of a let down than seeing the negative. Praying for you to have strength, peace and hope as you continue to trust in Him. He won’t fail you sugars! He is so loving and would never withhold any good gift from His precious children. So hang in there. xo

  7. I remember a time when so many other people told me that maybe being a stepmother was God’s plan for me and I should give up my own plan of having a child. Hearing those words so often got me so discouraged that I started to believe THEIR plan, not God’s plan, and I almost waved that white flag of defeat. It was YOU that told me not to feel guilty for wanting something more and trusting God’s voice. It was you that told me that God can have plans for me to be a stepmom AND a mom. Don’t be discouraged my friend. God has so many plans for you. Yesterday is only a bump in the road to the destination.

    1. Thanks so much girl! Galatians 6:2 tells us to carry each other burdens…and when you fall down, I pick you up…and when I fall down, well, you are always there to pick me back up. Thank you, thank you, thank you for reminding me of God’s promises! Love ya sugars! xo

  8. In tears. I have been struggling for 8 years and at 28 now, I feel a little defeated. Then I start questioning, what if I am too old? What if it never happens? I start doubting and wanting to pick up that white flag. Thank you. Thank you for reminding me every time you post not to give up or give in. Your post are my motivators.

    1. Girlie…you are not too old. That is just a lie and tactic the enemy is trying to whisper in your ear. Shut him out 🙂 God doesn’t see age. So hang in there! I’m praying for you right now 🙂 xo

  9. So I have been following your blog for a few months now and am overwhelmed by the goodness that God speaks through you. More than once, on a particularly hard day or day when my emotions don’t have a voice, I will stumble upon one of your posts or facebook messages and feel found. My whole self screams, “she gets it”. It is nice to be got. : ) Thank you for the vulnerability to post and share and encourage. Thank you so much for your prayers. And thank you for this post which led to a nice ugly cry of my own– the good kind where you end up just a little be closer to Jesus, tucked in his arms at the end. Be blessed today.

    1. whew girl! You just made me take a sigh of relief. Sometimes when I post these kinds of post, I feel like I just stripped down naked and ran in front of the yard. And then when I do, I wonder if it was worth it. And your message just confirmed it’s worth it. It’s always worth it to share our stories and let it out. Because when we tell our stories, it brings healing to not only ourselves but others. Hang in there sugars! love ya!

  10. ((HUGE HUGS)) Never give up. Know that it’s okay to ugly cry from time to time – we’re emotional creatures and it has to release somehow. Never feel guilty for that – feeling those emotions doesn’t mean you trust the Lord less. Love you, lady!

  11. I feel like I need to talk about this topic more. I am so beyond frustrated with trying to understand what God really promised and what He did not. And I feel like I have no one to hash it out with, whenever I bring it up – I get bombarded with platitudes and not real answers. I am an analytical person (overly, probably) and I think that really frustrates the people iny life.

  12. Thank you! I have been waving that white flag and listening to Satan in my mind alot lately. I really needed this today!

    1. Drop the flag girlie! Lol! No really in all seriousness, thankfully you can change your mind and tell the enemy to shut up 🙂 xo

  13. Sweet Josiah Day – Can’t wait until the day where it says PREGNANT! Seriously. I hate that satan comes in and speaks so many lies too! Thanks for being so vulnerable – waiting with you friend!! We will reap the harvest when we don’t give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. amen girl!!! Thank you for always being such a wonderful source of support and encouragement to me! You rock! And I just can’t wait to one day squeeze you around the neck. xo

  14. Big ol hugs to you girl!!! Your words are always the encouraging words in my head on these type of days. Sometimes a good ugly cry will actually make ya feel better, I hope it does for you 🙂 praying for you Elisha! Oxox

    1. The ugly cry didn’t make me feel better…it was when the Lord wrapped His arms around me afterwards that did. Thank.Goodness. Cause girl, I was a HOT MESS! LOL

  15. I have been reminded so much this last week that our experiences SHOULD NOT change God’s Word!!! You experienced a “single line”, that experience does not change the promise that God said the fruit of your womb would be blessed!!!! Keep pressing on for what you KNOW is possible…a fruitful womb 🙂 God bless!

    1. Thanks so much for your encouragement sugars! It’s so easy at times to take our eyes of the word and put them on our circumstances, but thank you for being such a great source of encouragement! xo

  16. Oh I so hate that you have had this moment! Like others have said it is ok to cry and to let it out and I am fully speaking to myself as well when I say ‘don’t give up and to hang in there’. Thank you so much for running naked in your front yard for me (us) as you don’t know how much it actually encourages us all to know that we all have ‘those’ moments from time to time. Praying along side you xx hugs 🙂

    1. ahhh thank you so much girl for your encouragement today! It is so needed? I firmly believe in Galatians 6:2 where it says to help each other carry our burdens…and I thank you for helping me carry mine from time to time. xo

      1. I just had this song pop into my mind and think the lyrics are perfect for claiming back from the enemy what he is trying to steal from us. And also to reaffirm that God is on our side and fighting for us…have a listen and I hope it gives you the same encouragement and fight it gives me xx
        In Jesus’ Name (Revealing Jesus Project) – Darlen…: http://youtu.be/0nytGdYuRgg

  17. I’m sorry you had such a rough morning. I was just there, just got done with a 55 day cycle, that only ended with a Progesterone intervention. It sucks sometimes…well all the time…that things aren’t easy for us like they are for so many others. I hope today finds you in a better frame of mind and more at peace. Hang in there!

    1. Yes girl, today is soo much better! I just keep reminding myself that He is good and He is faithful to fulfill the desires of our hearts. They may not be on my terms but who I am to know what is best for me? I once thought this guy I was dating was “the one” but thankfully God intervened. lol! So I just keep reminding myself that I don’t always see the bigger picture, but He does. Praying for you today as well. I am hoping this cycle ends SOON. xo

  18. I waited 15 years for my miracle (he is 4 months old now) and it took a whole year of eating gluten-free, dairy-free to get me there. We had been told there would be no kids for us, but God had different plans.

    1. I have tried gluten free and dairy free but it is so hard with our four year old foster child and I missed all my favorite meals. Annnnd I crave cottage cheese like it’s no ones business. But maybe I should give it another go

  19. Oh friend…I wish I was close and could treat you to a brownie and coffee right now. And a hug (of course). I SO know those days. In fact, just today I could feel those lies creeping in TWO DAYS after a prophetic word at church that we would have a baby. Gah! Being human is tough. Keep those eyes on Jesus, friend, because He is GOOD. I love all of those verses and will keep praying for you. xoxo

    1. oh yes girl! Be on guard for those attacks ESPECIALLY after a prophetic word was spoken over you. The devil will try to knock you down. But I know you have His strength inside of you! Praying for you always! xo

  21. You are so right. He is the giver of peace and hope and love… not confusion or anger or bitterness. Ugh. It’s so simple looking back, but not so much in the moment. Thanks for your honesty, sweetie! *hugs

  22. It makes my heart feel good to know I’m not alone in my foot stomping or my ugly crying. But it also makes my heart feel good to be reminded of His promises. Thank you for this sister!

    1. You are totally NOT alone. I have two other posts I have written in the last couple of days that included some ugly crying. I think my hormones are ALL OVER the place. lol. I seem to go in these spurts. Do you?

      1. Oh totally! It comes and goes week to week, day to day or even hour to hour. And the real big meltdowns usually come when I least expect them.

      2. Mine do too! Just when I think I got it all together…WHAM! And I know it’s because I have let my guard down and the enemy will do a sneak attack. He can’t get me when I have my “dukes” up so to speak 😉

  23. Seeing that negative test can be SO hard. I’m empathizing with your hot mess cry. Hang in there! I ran across a good read about this the other day I’ll try to send out. It was a good reminder. Love you friend, xo

  24. I deleted my ovulation app about 5 minutes before I came across this post. Today my doctor gave me a lab order for blood work and pregnancy test. Just as I left the doctor’s office with a smile on my face and hope in my heart, I felt Mother Nature bring on the monthly curse. I’ve felt so let down and heartbroken all day. I’m really struggling with my faith with all of these heartbreaks.

    1. oh girl! I am so sorry. I doubt seriously that I have any words that bring comfort to you but I know the One who does. He sees you. He hears you. And He is the one that planted that sweet desire for you to be a Momma in your heart. So keep trusting in Him to bring it to pass. I know everything that is happening is hard to understand, but just keep believing and hoping. Because hope in Him and His ability and plans, will not disappoint. xoxo And never forget, I am always here for you.

  27. Elisha, I love your gut wrenching honesty! You speak for most of us even though we may be in different stages of our lives. Happy days are coming your way, God has promised us that. Praise Him for that good news!

    1. Thanks so much Doris! And thank you for your constant support and encouragement. I couldn’t continue if it wasn’t for sweet and awesome people such as yourself. xo

  28. You’re a foot-stamper, huh? I’m more of a throw-an-invisible-object-on-the-floor-really-hard girl 😉 It’s okay to cry, but so glad you got up and remembered that our hope is in the Lord. Hugs.

    1. I should switch to the “throw an invisible object on the floor really hard” instead. I think I would actually get more satisfaction out of that. hehe! And thanks girl for the support and encouragement! Love ya! xo

  29. I got a negative test this morning too.. This post took the words right out of my mouth. I wish I had used the test with the lines instead of the one with words because I feel like it’s was mocking me.. “not pregnant”. Stupid pee stick! I’m feeling ugly this morning too.. As I was making my pot of fully caffeinated coffee I think I was mumbling things like “I’m never going to be a mom” and “I feel like I can’t do this again and wait another month”. I better stay off Facebook today or I will probably break something. I don’t think I can handle another cute baby picture.. (sorry to all the new moms out there. I’m very happy for you.) Thank you so much for reminding me of truth this morning though. I know God’s grace is sufficient for me today as it has been in the past year and a half of devastation and disappointment. I guess we all can just keep trying! That’s my attempt at being positive today.. (sigh). We are in this together girl!

    1. Oh girl! I am so sorry you got a negative test today as well! But thankful that you stumbled upon this post so that it can help you get through the day. I know this journey isn’t easy but I have faith to believe that one day, we will both be celebrating that our barrenness is no more. And you are so right, we are in this together!

      He settles the barren woman as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord. Psalm 113:9

  30. Thank you for sharing your heart, and thank you for the reminder that the ONLY way to guard against Satan’s lies is by equipping ourselves with the truths of Scripture. I am constantly amazed at the depth of your faith.

    1. Awe thanks girl! It’s a struggle sometimes to remind myself of the truth of God’s word rather the the facts of my circumstances. Because I have to tell myself that facts change, but God’s truth will always remain. Love ya sugars! xo

  31. You write about the reality of what this is like so beautifully. Thank you. Every aspect of it. The range of emotions. The thought processes. The hourly, daily, monthly, yearly journey from despair to resolve to keeping on believing in God’s promises. Thank you for not giving up your personal hope in His word. It reminds me to do the same in our own journey of waiting xx

  32. And Boom! The scripture just slapped me in the face! I’ve never identified with Eve like this before! Powerful lesson! Thanks for sharing this conviction with us!

  34. Elisha, I love your honestly and openness about this event. It’s a heartbreaking moment and for you to share it, is amazing because your words help others. I actually went through this exact moment a few days ago. About 45 days after my missed cycle I was hopeful I would get a positive test, and nope. I just walked away very quiet and actually didn’t know how to feel. I had a mix of being upset and and then okay with it. Eventually I was able to set my mind back on God, knowing He has the perfect timing. Thank you so much for sharing this. Unfortunately, It helps me know I’m not the only one going through these heartbreaks. I say unfortunately because I wish you didn’t have to go through this. I just know God will use our struggle to help many and he is increasing our patience and faith as time passes. Best of wishes to you and may all your desires be met this year!

  36. That post is exactly what I’ve been like today! I follow you on Insta as sweetbabyhopes and I love your scriptures/quotes that pop up to encourage me! Thanks for your honesty x

  37. Seriously, this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear today. I started my day off well…really well. Then, I was going through my list of pregnant friends to make sure I had all of my gifts purchased and ready to go, and it hit me. I was so sad. I actually went to lunch in tears because I was so down. I started thinking that maybe this just wasn’t worth it anymore. Lots of people live their lives without children. I know we all have one of those days. I just needed to hear a voice of reason…the Word of God. Thank you for being that voice of reason for me today. You have seriously changed my life with your friendship. *Hugs*

    1. Ahh this makes me smile so big that you were able to read this at the EXACT moment that you needed to hear these words of truth. Because if you had read it last week when I had posted it, it might not have meant as much…God is so faithful to speak to us and bring us back to Him. Love you my friend! xo

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