Have you ever wondered what your exact odds of conceiving are in any given month? Yes? No? Don’t care? Well, for those of you who like numbers and statistics, researchers in the UK have devised a mathematical formula that predicts a woman’s odds of conception based upon her age and the length of time she’s been trying to get pregnant. I’m not too ashamed to admit that when I first read the article, saw the equation and looked over the chart, my face looked a lot like this lil guy below. It didn’t get any better as I looked it over again and then for a third, before making one final attempt to try to comprehend just one single sentence. I. Just. Don’t. Understand. Math.
I am horrible with numbers and the only time I am good at adding or subtracting, is when I am trying to figure out how many times I can hit the snooze button before needing to rise and shine. My dislike for math isn’t new. In fact, it dates all the way back to the first grade when my teacher introduced me to fractions while using food, mostly pictures of pizza. What a mistake she made because I literally couldn’t concentrate on anything once she held up the yummy looking cardboard cut out pizza in order to demonstrate the fraction of slices that were left once lil’ Johnny ate two and Peggy Sue only had one.
Fourth grade math was a nightmare! Mrs. Johnson was sweet, but those word problems were of the devil! On a typical day, this is how I would read a word problem: If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof? Answer: Purple because aliens don’t wear hats.
By the time I reached Middle School, I was as lost as an Easter egg on Christmas morning when the instructor started placing random letters of the alphabet next to the numbers.
Once I made it to high school, the words “trade and grade” were music to my ears. If you are unaware of this system, it is the process of when you trade your homework paper with your neighbor (who was usually your best friend) and miraculously, no matter what, every answer you wrote down was “correct.” I would like to personally give a huge shout out to my friends (you know who you are) because without each and every single one of you, I would not have a high school diploma–so thank you! However, unfortunately my heart goes out to the following students who submitted these homework/test answers and either did not have a
lazy gracious teacher using the “trade and grade” system or a caring friend to help give them A+ they needed…
My husband on the other hand, is an engineer and loves Math. He finds it ridiculously funny when I spend five minutes looking for a calculator just to add 4 and 7. (Okay, I’m not that bad (usually), but you get the point.) I thought just for the heck of it, I would include his fifth grade school picture. Can you say, “hubba, hubba?” (Just kidding, this is not him)
I am sure you have had enough about me and my inability to do Math, as well as my husband’s extreme sexiness, so let’s get back to the new formula and fertility chart that can calculate your odds of conceiving each month shall we? According to the chart, due to my age and the extended period of time in which I have already been trying to conceive without success, I have a possible five percent chance of conceiving this month.
meh. sheesh. bleck.
Like I said, I’m not the best at math, but I know that five percent is not a good number to have; however what I do have, is faith in a God who utilizes the “trade and grade system.” You see, here I am, sitting in my mess, having all the wrong numbers, but because I’m sitting next to His Son Jesus, who is also my best friend, and who has already traded in my brokenness for His righteousness, I don’t have to worry. Instead, I can have hope that my wrong numbers can be made right because it’s through Him and His “trade and grade system”, all things are possible. He can fudge the numbers for me.
And friend, if you are reading this today and the odds are stacked up against you, just take a seat next to Jesus. He will be your best friend and can fudge the numbers for you too.
I mean come on, if He can feed 5,000 men on 5 loaves and 2 fish, then I am confident He can take my measly five percent, and your measly five percent, and multiply it by His 20 in order to give the full percentage needed in order to bring home our baby birds…or does He need to multiply it by 10? I don’t know. I can’t seem to find my husband or a calculator…
Thank you for reading this edition of “Laughing Your Way through Infertility” and if you need some additional humor or missed the last post, “What’s the Magic Code?” then you can find it by clicking here. As always, I hope you have a great week and don’t forget to find time to laugh and enjoy the journey while you are on the path to reaching your destination.
I would love to get connected with you on a more personal level, so if you liked this post, pass it on and then click here to find me on Facebook.