What’s the Magic Code?

Starting the “trying to conceive” journey is a lot like traveling in a foreign land.  And why?  Because it is complete with a whole new language.   Seriously!  It is!  Because it’s a place where DH doesn’t mean designated hitter and MC is no longer referring to the famous rapper commonly known as MC Hammer from the 1990s.  Nope! Not even close!

I will never forget how lost and overwhelmed I felt three years ago when I began reading fertility books, blogs and trying to conceive forums.  The information was awesome, but the use of acronyms made me want to burst into flames!  Usually the time a person saved by using BBT instead of Basal Body Temperature or BCP instead of birth control pills, costs me a good five minutes feeling frustrated and searching Google.  It was even worse when they started using multiple acronyms in the same sentence.  I would think, “UGH!  Why must they speak in code?!” 

What did she mean when she BD on CD 15 after she checked her CF and it was EWCM?  And who is DH?  Don Harry?  Dumb Husband?  What about when they wrote US?  Was that another acronym or were they just capitalizing and thus emphasizing the word US?  Oh you got a BFP?  Congratulations, but can you explain what I am congratulating you for…?  And your Aunt Flo arrived yesterday and you are mad?  What do you have against your Aunt?  I see that you said your “beta” didn’t double…ummm…the only “beta” I know is the once popular beta fish. I see you keep mentioning your LH and FSH levels.  Does that have anything to do with when you mentioned your DH?  No?  Oh so confusing?!  Oh wait!  Did I just see PMS?!  Yay!  I know that one!  And TMI?  I know that one too!

However, now that I am going on several years of trying to conceive, I can immediately decode any and all fertility acronyms, as well as fluently speak in this secret language without even batting an eye.  How about you?  Can you decode the ever so confusing world of fertility acronyms in a split second or are you like I once was and “acronym special?”  Let’s give it a shot to see how “fluent” you are shall we?

* I’m on CD 13, my CF is mostly EWCM and my CP is high.

* My DH and I suffer from PI and he has LSP and I have PCO, but my RE isn’t concerned we won’t get PG despite also having a shorter LP and possible ENDO.

* I used FMU on an EPT and got a BFN.

* My FM, BBT, and OPK all suggest I might have had O’d on CD 17, but my RE confirmed via US and BW that I did not.

* Yesterday I had an IUI, but in order to increase my chances of a BFP on a HPT, me and my DH went ahead and BD.  Cheer’s to the TWW and P4 supplements.

How did ya do?  Are you a well-seasoned trying to conceive veteran or a newbie who still needs to learn the foreign language?  In order to help you newbies not burst into flames and go cross-eyed the next time you are reading fertility books, blogs, trying to conceive forums, or silly posts like this one, I want to leave you with a few of the basics (and some non basics at the bottom).

TTC:  This is not to be confused with an R&B trio from the 90s (that group is called TLC), or an abbreviation for “text the cell” but rather the acronym for trying to conceive.  It’s wise to learn this one early on in your journey because it is used A LOT!

AF:  This acronym stands for: Aunt Flo, After Flow or basically your period came so it’s time to break out the “old panties.”

O:  When I was a trying to conceive newbie, I thought for months the “O” stood for…ummm…cough, cough…orgasm.  It does not.  This acronym represents ovulating or ovulation.

CD:  This one is important to know!  It represents cycle day. Therefore when CD1 is used in a sentence, it is vital to know that it is not the first day one ventures off on a fun filled motorcycle trip.  But rather the much less fun day in which one starts their period.  BIG DIFFERENCE!

BFN/BFP:  Results of a pregnancy test: Big Fat Positive or Big Fat Negative. I will admit that when I started researching fertility websites and trying to conceive forums, I gasped each time because I assumed the “F” meant something a little more vulgar…

BD:  Baby Daddy?  Nope!  Baby Duty?  Nope!  Baby dance?  Yep! I still don’t understand this one.  Why can’t we just type “sex?”  Are we afraid to?  Is it too much work to type it all out?  After all, it requires just one more additional letter.

SA:  I have a bachelor’s degree in Social Work therefore my mind naturally assumed it meant “Substance Abuse” but it does not.  It stands for semen analysis and this is when your significant other has a hot date with a sterile cup in a lonely bathroom.

PUPO:  I never understood this one in the beginning. Was it a cutesie word for going number two in the bathroom?  Nope! This fun acronym means:  Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise.  Which to me?  I love.  It sounds so hopeful. 

POAS:  This is my most favored hobby – Pee On A Stick. I will admit that I am unable to casually pass by a pregnancy or ovulation test kit at my local pharmacy without losing my self-control to purchase one and then pee on it after immediately leaving the store.  I do this regardless of it is time to test…sigh

PG:  In this foreign land, PG no longer represents the ratings of a television show or movie.  Instead it simply means pregnant. 

RE:  This stands for your Reproductive Endocrinologist–Or better known as the person who sees your lower half region more than your husband.

 OC:  The OC is not referring to the once popular MTV television show called OC:  The Real Orange County.  Instead it refers to oral contraceptives.  I know, I know…I was just as confused as you are when it comes to seeing this acronym all over TTC blogs and forums.  It still seems a bit ironic and counterproductive for doctors to use this as part of their protocol to “knock you up.”  But they do.  And you don’t usually question it.  At least not to your doctor.

DH:  This stands for dear husband or darling husband–not dumb husband as I once thought because well, that wouldn’t be nice. 

Non Basics:

ICEGPWTPTSRIME:  I can’t even get pregnant when they put the sperm right into my egg.

WRAIDHLTSTMIW:  We relaxed and it didn’t happen like the stranger told me it would.

PTATD:  Pregnancy tests are the devil.

MHHASBTDMOC:  My husband has a stupid business trip during my ovulation cycle!

ISMBMTMDH:  I squeeze my breasts more than my dear husband.

WSHH:  We still have hope.  (My favorite)

Well there you have it!  A teeny tiny short list of all the acronyms used by those trying to conceive.  For a full list, please consult Dr. Google as I do not have the time or patience to list all 389,678 of them.

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Thank you for reading this edition of “Laughing Your Way through Infertility” and if you missed last week’s post, “There Must Be Something in the Water” then you can find it by clicking here.

Also, for a complete list containing the links to all of the previous “Laughing Your Way through Infertility” posts, you can go to “The Comic Section” by clicking here.

As always, I hope you have a great week and don’t forget to find time to laugh and enjoy the journey while you are on the path to reaching your destination.  Also, I would love to get connected with you on a more personal level, so if you liked this post, pass it on and then click here to find me on Facebook.