Camping. In my book, there is only one way to go and that is with a camper. Some might call this “glamping” but I like to think of it as maintaining a females healthy, happy and balanced hormotional (hormones + emotions = Hormotional) level while she endures the great outdoors of spiders, snakes, and weird spooky noises.
So what on earth was I thinking when I surprised my hubby with one night of “tent camping”, the kind he would prefer, for our monthly “Reigniting the Spark” date? I don’t tent camp! I like my bed. I like my shower. I like not swatting at flies, running into spider webs, freaking out over falling leaves because I thought they were falling spiders, and carrying a flashlight to the nearest bush in order to release thy liquids. But I knew it was something he has always wanted to do with me and I thought, “Why not?” In my fairytale mind, I imagined our trip would look a little something like this…
Needless to say, it looked nothing like that. And I mean nothing. The campground we agreed to call our humble abode was only twenty minutes away from our home and together we chose this location due to Goldilocks (our foster child) staying with my parents for the first time. I didn’t think it was necessary to “research” the campground beforehand, but once we arrived, we both looked at each other and quickly realized that a little “homework” would have been nice.
You see, in order to reach the camping site, one has to hike uphill approximately 250 yards. This wouldn’t have been a big deal, however the high maintenance one (me) decided we not only needed a tent, but also a queen sized air mattress; and not just some toilet paper, but also a bucket to utilize as a toilet. I also decided that “hot dogs” wouldn’t be enough and therefore we needed to pack chips. However not just one bag of chips would suffice, but rather a variety.
My thought process was there is nothing worse than being miserable, bored and hungry. Therefore, by purchasing a variety of food items, I was going to eliminate the prospect of being hungry. Not to mention I figured if I was eating, then I would also eliminate the issue of being bored. Winning.
We (he) also had two large coolers to carry. One for drinks which was fully stocked with Diet Coke, Mountain Dew, water and Orange Juice (I like my OJ in the morning). In the second cooler were not only the hotdogs, but also the necessary condiments, as well as one can of cinnamon rolls (an excuse to try out the new camping dutch oven I purchased), eggs, one can of biscuits, jelly and bacon for breakfast. I would like to add that while it sounds as though I emptied the contents of my refrigerator and put it inside the coolers, I did not. Daniel seemed to have forgotten to pack the ketchup for my hotdog. This might not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but it is a must have condiment item if I want to choke down a hotdog. I can only eat and enjoy a hotdog if it has the right mixture of mustard and ketchup. Needless to say, he was reminded about 30 times while we ate our dinner that I couldn’t believe he forgot the ketchup. A part of me is still wondering if he is paying me back from last month when I failed to pack water to go with our peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for our 1 hour hike through the Garden of Gods.
But it doesn’t stop at the two coolers that needed to be carried uphill the 250 yards, so lets move on to the next item which is the all-important firewood. I can’t even begin to describe how heavy these logs were or how many trips it took to bring it all to the campsite. I can’t describe it to you because I have no idea. I sat that one out. After his first trip, I noticed he was sweating and all I could think about was how I did not want to go to bed that evening still sticky from the sweat earlier in the day. Nope! So I set up the two lawn chairs and cracked open a diet coke. I will say that he looked like a mighty stud carrying in all that wood. Wink, Wink!
Once we, I mean he, carried the two coolers, firewood, ax, bucket, two lanterns, lawn chairs, five gallon container of water, and two large storage tubs filled to the max with a tent, pots, pans, blankets, sleeping bags, and other non-essential camping items, we were ready to set up camp. I once again, sat this one out. I do not know how to “pitch a tent”, chop wood, or light a fire and I wasn’t going to learn now. To me, it was like learning formulas in Math. I know I am never going to need this skill again so what’s the point? Not to mention it would have been like actress/singer Jessica Simpson trying to help out survivor enthusiast Bear Grylls–pointless.
After Bear Grylls, cough, cough, the hubs was finished setting up our cozy home, chopping up his wood and lighting my fire, I looked around and realized the campsite looked nothing like what I had previously envisioned; but I was still happy with the results…even if my bathroom was a bucket…and out in the open for whomever to see…
Everything was all fun and games until I noticed the sun going down and that is when my heart began to race and my blood pressure went into the warning zone. I also became very serious about trying to remain as quiet as possible in order to intently listen for animals, slithering snakes or other unsuspecting killers guests lurking around our camp. The only conversations I can remember having after I saw the sun slowly go behind the horizon were these:
Me: (After the campsite is set up) Sooo…what do we do now?
Dan: We just sit here and poke at the fire every once in a while.
Me: (nods head and looks around) Oh.
Dan: (Gets up and pokes around at the fire)
Me: This is thrilling.
Dan: Isn’t the great outdoors GREAT!
Me: (Silence)
Me: Hey! I gotta go pee.
Dan: Okay.
Me: I am a girl. A girl needs toilet paper.
Dan: Oh! Here it is.
(Tosses me a package of outdoor toilet paper)
Me: It say’s “rapid dissolve on the front of the package.” How rapid dissolving is this?
Dan: Better make it quick so you don’t find out.
Dan: You ready for some hotdogs?
Me: Sure. Did you bring any baked beans?
Dan: No.
Me: Pasta Salad?
Dan: No.
Me: Potato Salad?
Dan: I told you earlier we were camping, not going out to eat.
Me: I wish my Aunt Marcia was with us. She would have made sure we had those things and cookies.
(After many long moments of silence)
Dan: What’s your favorite childhood memory?
Me: (I just stare at him with a confused look)
Dan: What? These are the types of questions your Dad asks when we go camping together.
Me: Okay…
Dan: Sooo…
Me: Eating frozen pizza and watching TGIF. I know, lame.
Dan: Didn’t you guys go camping?
Me: Bahaha! Yeah! But after the last couple of hours what makes you think that would be the answer to my favorite childhood memory?
Dan: (Lights the lantern)
Me: Ummm…I don’t think the lantern itself should be on fire. Should it?
Dan: This isn’t good!
Me: (Laughing hysterically and looking for my camera)
Dan: This is not funny!
Me: What was that?
Dan: A leaf.
Me: Good.
(Five minutes later)
Me: What was that?!
Dan: Geese.
Me: Okay.
(Five minutes later)
Me: What was that?!
(And this went on until he finally fell asleep and quit answering me)
Me: Wouldn’t it be easier to go to McDonald’s for breakfast?
Dan: This is all part of the camping experience my dear.
Me: Haha! I have experienced enough.
All in all we had a great time unwinding, unplugging, and just enjoying the stillness of the night in each other’s company. Infertility has had a way of reducing our once burning flame to a mere flicker and so my hope for this month’s trip was to have fun, reconnect together and reignite the spark and I think despite the clash in our camping styles, we did just that.
So the question today is, what’s next? Well, tomorrow is the beginning of November and first thing in the morning, I will have sitting beside his Saturday morning Belgian waffle and coffee, the next “date card.” I will go ahead and let you know that I am done with the “wild” adventures and this next date will officially kick off the holiday season as we travel several hours to tour a home. Does anyone have any guesses? Need a few more hints? Here ya go!
You crack me up!! We actually enjoy camping, though we usually go somewhere near a beach, and that has some sort of bath house facility. (Though when I was little, we went up in the mountains with a stream as our water source, and we would go for a week, multiple times over summer!) I’m glad you survived, and even if you didn’t have fun, it sounds like you kept yourself amused!! And for November…can you really go tour the house, the actual one from the movie!?!?
I did have fun despite my pokes of fun 🙂 But I would have never stayed two nights! LOL! And yes! You can tour the home! It is open all year round and we have been talking about going for three years! I think it’s time to just go and do it 🙂 I’m excited!!
Let me know where it is! I have no idea where you are, could be way across the country from me lol! I’d love to go though!
It’s in Cleveland Ohio 🙂 It’s a few hours away for us…I think. I should have checked that out before I planned this. haha!
That’s a ways for us! Though I could visit one of my best friends from high school who lives up there lol!
Oh how I loved this one! I’m glad nothing ate you or stung you! So glad you survived without ketchup and potatoes salad! And I particularly love that Dan got to carry everything up to the camp site. Now if only I could get away with that! 🙂
hehe! Yes I managed to survive and it really wasn’t too bad of a trip but I am glad I only planned for one night. This girl was ready for a shower :/
Lol. I am NOT a camping kind of girl. I HAVE to have access to a morning shower and I HATE bugs. And I would feel the same way about food. Trust me, I would have packed even more than that! But it’s great that you stepped out of your comfort zone for the sake of you hubs. 🙂 It sounds like he did have a good time.
Oh trust me, I wanted to pack more but he kept telling me we didn’t need it…sigh. If it were up to him he would have only had a can of tuna and a water.
EWWWW! lol.
I love this! But I guess you’ll never be convinced to have a TTC girls camping weekend? 😉
bahahaha! As long as we have ketchup and some macaroni salad 🙂 tehehe
And you don’t have to do any of the heavy lifting, right? lol 😀
hehehe! Someone needs to hold the fort down while the others go back to the car 🙂
LOL, and you did a superb job at decorating, which is totally essential to the vibe of the camp!!
This was hilarious! But I’ve got to hand Daniel one thing. Him forgetting the ketchup for the hot dogs was not nearly as bad as you forgetting water for peanut butter sandwiches! Down South, hot dogs “all the way” don’t even come with ketchup (crazy I know- I have to add it). But I cannot fathom trying to eat a PB&J without something to drink! That whole article and I’m hung up on ketchup and water, lol. The whole “What was that? And that?” was pretty funny too!
hahaha! I forgot to mention that the bread he bought was old and crumbly. SO basically I ate a hotdog with mustard. I don’t even like mustard unless it is mixed in with ketchup or mayo. LOL!
Lololololol 🙂 XOXO
tehehe
Oh gosh! LOL – this is hilarious! I agree…hotdogs need ketchup and OJ is a must for breakfast.
…For a few summers I lived in a tent in the bush (worked in forestry) so last summer Hubs and I decided to do the Oregon trail and just tent it along the way because that’s what we used to do! Needless to say we need a bigger tent at the very least…
You tent camped for days?!?! Oh heck to the nah! I could only do that night…maybe one more night but I am not sure. I also agree about a bigger tent. I am claustrophobic and even though our tent was a four man tent, I think I want my own next time.
Months technically 😉 That’s funny, you guys get separate tents…call it 50’s style renewing the romance LOL…When we did the Oregon trail, we actually did it in a 3 man tent. It was not awesome.
You guys are hysterical! I love the back and forth banter between you too. XO
So do my friends 🙂 They always say we have the best and funniest conversations. haha
This post just made my Friday afternoon! I had so much fun reading it!! I can just see you at the camping spot! I hardly did any camping before meeting my husband and we’ve been doing quite a lot since. At first I was exactly like you, I do really like it now. Except when it rains.. I can’t do camping in the rain.. xx
I thought about that this week…”what if it would have rained?!” I don’t think I could have handled that at all.
We ended up camping in the rain last summer. We had a night of really heavy rain which I spent in fear that the tent would fall on us.. very relaxing holidays…
You’re hilarious! Good on you for stretching out your comfort zone for a good cause!
Thanks! But I think I am not going on anymore “wild” ones for a bit :/
You’re brave. We went camping a few months ago but I made sure there was a flushing toilet in walking distance. That’s as far as I’ll take it! No peeing in the woods for this girl
There was a flushing toilet up the way but it was dark…really dark…and no one was camping but us which made it VERY scary for me. I wanted to stick close to the hubby and the ax he brought 🙂
I share your sentiments on camping. I find it mind-numbingly boring and scary with all the creepy crawlies out there. What is it with men and wanting to be cavemen?
I have no idea?! He wanted to just bring a bottle of water and cans of tuna for dinner. Who does that?!
No. Just…no.
HAHA! This looks like it was a straight up adventure! I am SO not a camping kind of girl, you are much braver than I am. I would have slept in the car before a tent! EEK! OK, but seriously, you are doing a great job and reigniting the flame, looks like you two had fun! XO
We did have fun but now I am thinking we need to couple date camp 🙂 Could you imagine the laughter me and you would have if we went?! LOL!
Girl, you made it all night long…..we set up camp and left once it got dark because I was too chicken to stay all night!! Glad the tp didn’t dissolve too quickly
haha! There was no way I could have convinced him to leave early after he spent an hour carrying it up the hill and then spending another hour chopping the wood. lol! He would have hurt me. bahaha
This cracked me up! I LOVE camping and especially love converting non-campers (girls, mostly) into lovers of camping. The lantern catching on fire is seriously hilarious. Apparently it sprung a leak?!
No it wasn’t a leak…my pyro-maniac of a husband got a little carried away with the kerosene. He likes making fires but this one was a bit extreme…
Elisha, I absolutely *love* your stories of the great outdoors! You are too funny in the telling. I wonder how many people thought I was a lunatic as I actually lol’d while sitting in the car alone at a seedy hotel (said hotel contains the restaurant hubby works at–I’m riding with him tonight).
Did the lantern make it? I would guess not. 🙂
bahaha! Thanks April! The lantern did make it 🙂 As well as the other one he also caught on fire 😉 He apparently got too much kerosene on the outside…? Not sure! But it did make for a good laugh 🙂
TWO lantern fires? Sounds like a blast! 🙂
Remember Smoky the Bear? He was frowning upon us that evening…
Bless you for going!!!!!!!!! haha, this cracked me up!!!! You are getting awfully creative with reigniting the spark haha
Thanks sugars but the next trip will be in a hotel room 🙂
This is such great entertainment for me. You totally cracked me up all the way through the post. You poor thing. I could totally empathize. I know your feelings as I’m not an outdoor kind of girl either. Kudos to you for trying!!! What a great wife!! And what a great husband for doing all the work. 🙂
So glad you enjoyed it girlie! There were so many moments that I just had to laugh at myself! And you are right…my hubby was such a trooper but he knew he needed to be if I was ever going to go again 🙂
OMG! You’re going to tour the A Christmas Story house?! Yay! How fun! Your recap of your camping weekend made me laugh. With my hubby and I it’s the reverse. I was a Girl Guide (Canadian version of Girl Scout) and love to camp and my hubby hates it 🙂
I was never the outdoors type until my husband. We started out with tent camping. It was great because my husband got an 8 person tent for those days it did rain and we slept on air matresses. The only thing I would not allow was to use the woods as our bathrooms. I wanted at least an outhouse. Also the parks had to have showers. Some of the best sites, sounds and views I have seen. It really helped us reconnect.
Now we own a camper and enjoy that to but many time we got back to that tent camping ! Glad you had a great time.
I want to purchase a camper soooo bad!!!
LOL! Love the dialogue 🙂 I would say, enjoy camping now. Once the Lord blesses you with your baby bird camping becomes a much different experience. 🙂
I agree, but I am thinking baby bird can stay with Grams and Papa. LOL! Or at least that’s where Goldilocks stayed during this *awesome* adventure. bahaha
I had a comment and then WP ate it. 😛 I was trying to say that I LOVE camping, unless it’s hot or raining, haha. I can’t sleep when I’m hot, I’m a weenie. But man, I love camping. I love fires… just sitting around talking. You did the right thing by bringing an air mattress though… I made the mistake of not doing that last time we went and I won’t do that again. We had roll-out rubber mats to lay on to keep us from getting wet, but they weren’t soft!
You get to see the house from A Christmas Story?!?! Yay fun!! I can’t wait to hear about it.
I love your dates and their recaps. I seriously need to do this with Todd! Maybe I can make all 12 dates for next year a Christmas gift for him. 🙂
This post was hysterical! I loved it!! The lantern…HAHHAHA!! 😀 😀 Thanks for brightening my day!
haha! No problem and actually, the Hubs somehow caused both of our lanterns to catch fire. It eventually stopped “flaming” and were useable but until that point, I was laughing so hard I almost had to go use the “bucket” haha
Ya’ll made some lasting memories! 😀
That we did!