Today, I want to introduce you to sniglets. What are sniglets you ask? Sniglets are words that should appear in dictionaries, but don’t. Basically, they are made up words for those things in life that just don’t seem to have an “official” terminology. For instance…
- Musquirt: The runny stuff that comes out of the mustard bottle and get’s your bread all soggy before the actual mustard squirts out.
- Genderplex: The predicament of a person in a restaurant who is unable to determine his or her designated restroom (i.e. Turtles or Tortoises).
- Ingnisecond: The overlapping moment of time when your hand is locking the car door while your brain is screaming, “My keys are in there!”
- Banectomy: The removal of bruises from a banana.
- Aquadextrous: The ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
- Carpetuation: The act, while vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
- Crumbdundancy: the act of re-vacuuming parts of your car for no reason other than to use up the remaining time on the coin operated vacuum machine at the car wash.
Now that you know what sniglets are, don’t you think they are so much fun? And useful? Well in the world of ‘trying to conceive’, I have discovered there are a lot of hilarious inspirations for sniglets. And so today I am going to expand your vocabulary and help you keep the next conversation that you have with your mom, best friend, husband, neighbor or cubical mate regarding your attempt to conceive as entertaining as possible…or at least as entertaining as possible for you.
- Psycho-Symptomatic Syndrome: a condition women have during the two-week waiting period. Symptoms are as follows: incorrectly attributing every bodily twinge or sudden change in one’s normal behavior to the early stages of pregnancy. (For examples of such pregnancy symptoms, please read “I Must Be Pregnant Because…” by clicking here.)
- Pregnitude: the joyful and confident attitude one has during their monthly cycle when they believe it will be THE ONE in which they become pregnant.
- Basal Body Workout: an urge to shake down your basal thermometer BEFORE recording your temperature in a futile attempt to work up a sweat in order to boost up your temperature.
- Briefectomy: removal of all tight-fitting briefs from your husbands underwear drawer in order to increase his sperm count.
- Male Sex Drive: something constantly in motion, but mysteriously shuts down completely during ovulation…the time when it is needed the most.
- Clearpit Easy: bottomless pit into which women hurl buckets of money while repeatedly testing for pregnancy way to early in the two-week wait.
- Hindsight: looking back to see what is happening as you get your fertility medicine delivered to you through a needle and in your tush.
- Mythconceptions: any urban folklore about people who get pregnant while on vacation, after they have adopted, quit trying, etc.
- Preconceived Notion: the idea (before trying to get pregnant) that one will get pregnant within a month or two, three at the most, six at the latest.
- Preggozone: the magnetic area around all infertile women that draws expectant mothers into close viewing range; NOTE: the first day of any cycle has the greatest magnetic force, closely followed by any day on which a woman trying to conceive fails a pregnancy test.
- Preganatory: the two-week wait; in between waiting times
- Cruisin’ for a Bruisin’: driving one hour each way in rush hour traffic to have blood drawn by a technician who is blind in one eye and has arthritis in both hands.
- Clomidbuddy: the invisible but very useful “nobody” who is truly responsible for all the awful things mistakenly said or done while on Clomid. (Example: “It wasn’t ME who smashed the dishes on to the floor in a Clomid-induced anger…It was the Clomidbuddy.)
- Graphic Imagination: tweaking or redrawing your basal body temperature graph in an attempt to see either a temperature rise or the magic triphasic pregnancy pattern.
- Hormotional: easily rattled emotional state brought on by hormonal surges; especially symptomatic of women on fertility drugs.
- Stall Talking: using phrases such as “please, please, please, let’s see a plus sign this time” or “aw come on, hurry up!” while waiting on the test results after peeing in a public restroom.
- Yearnation: the overwhelming urge to urinate while recording your morning basal body temperature reading; the overwhelming urge to urinate while unable to open the foil wrapper of your ovulation prediction test.
- Pregsplotion: the sudden abundance of women announcing their pregnancy within hours of your negative pregnancy test.
- Pitspermitis: the crick in your armpit which arises from carrying the plastic bottle of semen from home to the clinic.
- Inferguilty: how you feel when you are having a bad day and read someone’s post announcing their pregnancy and you are overcome with jealousy and envy.
Thank you for reading this week’s edition of “Laughing Your Way through Infertility.” And if you need some additional humor or missed last week’s post, “12 Ways to Survive the Two Week Wait”, then you can find it by clicking here. As always, I hope you have a great week and don’t forget to find time to laugh and enjoy the journey while you are on the path to reaching your destination.
Source:Copyright 1996, 1997, 1998 by Rebecca Smith Waddell and Lisa A. Kramer http://www.fertilityplus.com/faq/humor/sniglets.html
I would love to get connected with you on a more personal level. So if you liked this post, pass it on. And then click here to find Waiting for Baby Bird on Facebook. Or come follow me on Instagram at @waitingforbabybird. I seriously can’t wait to “meet” you!