The Comic Section, Waiting for Baby Bird

Did the Pregnancy Test Just Tell Me No?

Elisha

Bananas, milk, bread, chicken nuggets (don’t judge), and a box of First Response Early Responder Pregnancy Tests filled my Wal-Mart shopping buggy one afternoon. I decided on the box with just two for $8.98. I wasn’t “feeling” pregnant, therefore splurging on the box with three for $12.98 seemed like a waste of four dollars. Heck, spending the $8.98 seemed like a waste. But with our wedding anniversary just around the corner I kept thinking of how awesome and dreamy would it be to announce a pregnancy on such a significant day? Ahh…just the thought of it made my heart swell! And butterflies swarm in my tummy.

Excited, and with so much hope tucked inside of my never ending “what if I am” thoughts, I immediately rushed home, placed the other items quickly on the kitchen counter and ripped open the box as I darted to the bathroom. Once inside the privacy of the four small walls, I tossed aside the instructions (at this point I know the drill) and quickly dropped my drawers to take the test. While sitting there, anxiously waiting to see two gloriously pink lines, I saw the same one line I have stared at for the past five years quickly emerge. Drats! As I flung it into the trash, I went on to complete the next item on the “to do” list…dusting.

The next morning with the negative test glaring up at me from within the trash can, and the unopened one staring me down from the counter, I thought “oh heck! Why not?” Because if you know me, you would also know that I am a pee on a stick fool. If there is a test nearby and I have to pee, no matter what cycle day I am on, I am going to use it. I shamefully have been known to waste $50 each cycle on pregnancy tests.

(Dear husband, please know this is no longer happening. I am now wasting our money on other non-important items.)

So, without much emotional preparation, I nonchalantly opened the package and…Uh?! What?! It’s a digital? Since when did they start putting digital tests in with a non-digital? I had never taken a digital test before! And so, smiling from ear to ear, I realized this was a bit more exciting than the 159,386 other times I had taken a test. I was actually eager to see something else besides just the one line for a change, even if it did say, “Not Pregnant.” So, without further ado, I dropped my drawers…

But since the last test (just one day earlier) was clearly a gigantic negative, I had a sneaky suspension this one would be as well; therefore, without waiting around for the long drawn out and dreaded three minutes to read my presumed negative answer, I hopped into the shower. After washing behind the ears, and scrubbing my knees and elbows until they were squeaky clean, I jumped out and this is what I saw…

No Preg Test

Two letters–one word. No. UH?! No?! Did it just tell me NO?! How rude! As tears formed in my eyes and I stood staring blankly at the word “NO“, I stomped my foot, whined about the test result and cried as I feared I would never see the words “YES”. Each time I looked down and saw the word “NO”, my mind finished it with…

“NO children for you.”

“NO you didn’t ovulate so what did you expect?”

“NO. So get used to a family of two”

“NO! It’s just not going to happen.”

“NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!”

It’s amazing how 16 hours earlier I saw one line and said, “Drats” before picking up the Pledge can and dust rag; but seeing the word “NO” crushed me. It caused my joy and hope to be hijacked! And my faith to turn to fear. I never realized seeing this one tiny word would have such a huge impact on my mood, my thoughts, and my peace.

Throughout the entire day, I had flashbacks of my awful three-year old tantrum and I kept thinking about how rude it was for that stupid piece of plastic to tell me NO! Why couldn’t it have said something a little more hopeful or encouraging such as, “not yet, sweetie” or “I bet next time, sugars!”; which got me thinking. Why don’t they make pregnancy tests for those struggling to conceive? Seems like a money maker to me!  Haven’t companies figured out by now that seeing a negative pregnancy test can be traumatic for those who have been trying to grow their family for a lengthy period of time? Or for those who have had their hopes so far up in the sky even a space rocket couldn’t even reach them?

Therefore while whining…errr…talking to my husband and friends about the lack of compassion I feel pregnancy tests have for those struggling to conceive, I decided I wanted to make my own “pregnancy test”, but I understand that not each person nor each cycle is the same. For instance, there are some cycles after taking a pregnancy test when I need a scripture to pick me up off the floor, or a funny phrase to bring me back to a joyful attitude; maybe even a word of encouragement to spark hope for the next month. Not every person and every cycle is created equal.

Therefore, I have designed a pregnancy test with three categories; and before you go ripping off the cap and dropping your drawers, you are to choose which one you think you might need. Do you need something more spiritual, funny or encouraging? Maybe you need the combination of funny and spiritual. Or encouraging and funny. Maybe it’s been a particularly rough day and you could use all three? No biggie, because my new “pregnancy test” will be designed like the fun magic 8 ball you remember from the 90s, in which you have an opportunity to just keep switching to the most uplifting “NO” response if the first one doesn’t succeed. Sounds fabulous, right? If not a tad bit genius? I thought so too! 

Below I have compiled a list of responses I would suggest using in place of the ugly word, “NO.” 

(Because again, who likes to be told no?)

Just keep doing the deed! 

The next cycle will be the one!

Never lose hope!

 Not yet, but soon!

You’re gonna need chocolate!

It’s probably too early to test…

Not a winner, but keep playing

Time to hit the sheets again!

Go ahead and eat that pint of ice cream…

I’m sure your urine was too diluted

Don’t worry; it will happen

God has not forgotten you!

Never stop believing!

Please try again 🙁

 You might want to skip work and just go shopping

It’s not your fault!

HUGS!

God is faithful

Retake in 28 days

 This is not the end!

You are stronger than you think!

You are a fighter!

God will fulfill His Promises

You are one cycle closer!

NEVER GIVE UP!

All joking aside, I want you to know that I am on my knees pleading for you to never let the word “NO” steal (and keep) your joy, hope, strength, confidence, and faith. Don’t let this two letter word stop you from pressing through the obstacles and moving forward in achieving your goals and desires in life. Because while it might be a “NO” now, I have hope and faith to believe that one day, for you and for me, it will be a “YES!”

With Love

I would love to connect with you on a personal level, so if you liked this post, pass it on. Then come find Waiting for Baby Bird on the public Facebook page or join me on Instagram @waitingforbabybird. I can’t wait to “meet” you!If you are looking for a faith-based infertility community of other women who just “get it”, then head over to the *PRIVATE* Waiting for Baby Bird Support group for hope + encouragement. There you will find opportunities to ask for prayer, watch *LIVE* encouragement videos from me, author of “Waiting for Baby Bird,” as well as be able to share your heart with others on the same path, enter into exclusive giveaways, and so much more! So what are you waiting for? Find us here!

62 thoughts on “Did the Pregnancy Test Just Tell Me No?”

  1. Amen! I would totally buy this kind of pregnancy test. I’ve pretty much quit taking them because somehow starting my next cycle is easier than seeing not pregnant.

  3. Love!! Think of the extra money “it’s probably too early to test” and “I’m sure your urine was too diluted” would bring in with people buying extra tests 🙂

  4. Yes please. I would much prefer this test than those icky one-liners. Although every month I’m sure that my tests are just defective.

    1. MEEEEE TOOOO! At least for entertainment purposes and if I’m constantly shaking for a new answer than maybe I won’t be concentrated so hard on the fact it was a negative 🙂

  6. This idea is possibly the greatest! As I had shared earlier, being greeted with 4 days worth of crappy wondfo’s giving my false hope, spotting only, and a Mr. Stark White FRER, I could have totally used a digi giving me some extra encouragement, a little ego boost 😉 So because of this I’m gonna give myself a little pat on the back and say, ” Good effort girl, good game… we’ll win next time….. Or I imagine myself on a baseball field, and my teammate (dh) comes a gives a nice tush pat, Good game bro, good game!

    hmph… I would buy your tests, even on cycles that I knew I wasn’t prego just for the encouragement. You’re on to something here, make it happen girl…..

    1. Love this girl! When I go on Shark Tank for the idea I need you to be my side kick wearing a cheerleader outfit and doing these things you just listed 🙂

  7. Go on shark tank!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously – best idea ever! haha, I love the you will need chocolate!!! You always make me smile!

  9. “Keep trying”. Love this concept! I swear… it would be worth a lot to us infertiles to create such a test. BTW, I saw your “pickle” post. Since your update, I can’t comment within my WordPress reader. I have to go directly to your blog. I’m still following you though and your post appear in my feed.

      1. I mean I can’t see ANY comments on any post in my WordPress reader. I can read your posts but have to click through to your actual site to comment. I got the WordPress notification that you had responded, but I couldn’t read it.

      2. ugh! That sucks! This is another down side to self hosting rather than word press hosting. The websites and my hubs kept telling me I should switch but I can’t seem to find the benefits just yet :/

  10. I laughed so hard at this response, “Go ahead and eat that pint of ice cream”. Now that’s a test I can get behind! So funny, girl. But you are right, the digital tests definitely seem a bit more harsh than the line tests. I always like to stick with the lines, I think so that I can twist it every which way thinking that maybe just maybe I see the hint of a line. LOL. The things infertility will do to a woman 😉

    1. Line tests are the best because you can at least create your own imaginary line 🙂 I can’t really morph the words into a semi yes or a “almost yes”

  11. This is one of my all-time favorite blog posts EVER! In fact this post may actually be my favorite over all others. Compassionate pee sticks would be really nice for a change. XOXO

  13. By no means do I want this to come off as not encouraging your awesome idea, but I wanted to let you know that dollar tree has pregnancy test for $1 and they work. I heard the health department uses the same ones. I’m a penny saver though 🙂

    1. LOL! Ash you are killing my money makin idea! LOL! When it comes to struggling, we like to spend the most money possible on pregnancy test because we feel like the more expensive they are, the more likely it will be a positive. Silly Uh?! lol

  16. I LOVE your pregnancy tests!! Yours would have made me feel so much better so many of the times I had tested!

  17. So true! I had written to clearblue a while ago to ask for more considerate tests for the TTC crowd (I tweeted the start of the chat. Clearblue ended up answering that they’d pass on the idea internally. Some people thought it wasn’t a marketable idea. I am not ao sure about it.. ). Im completely with you on this!

    1. I don’t understand why they don’t jump on this bandwagon? I need this blog post to go viral so maybe they will listen 🙂

  18. Elisha, this is now one of my favorite posts of yours :). Loved it!!!! Maybe we could all send a petition to Clearblue in favor of these new tests you have in mind. I would buy them in a heartbeat :)!

    1. i know right?! I just have to get this blog post to go viral so that maybe they will take me seriously. This could be a huge money maker for them. 🙂

  19. What an amazing idea! I just love it! I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow and celebrating Josiah day with you. Hugs girl <3

  20. I’m sorry about your negative but you just had a breakthrough idea Elisha! I personally love “Not a winner, but keep playing”, genius!! but for now I wanna say “never lose hope” to you! To us all! xoxo aloha

  21. Great post! and GREAT idea! Although I have stopped taking pregnancy test as they just make me depressed 🙁 But this one with encouraging words I would buy! 🙂

  22. Ugh. “No” is no fun. As we are now in the adoption process, I don’t think I’ll ever get to see a “yes” or positive sign on a pregnancy stick. Sometimes, that’s still hard to accept, even though I know without a doubt God has led us to adopt. I hope and pray that you get your “yes” soon, my friend!

    1. oh girl I believe and have hope (a confident expectation) that your hearts desires will be fulfilled 🙂 Speak life! xo

  23. It has been a long time since I have has the courage to see that one line or even worse a NO. I don’t take the tests any more I figure I will find out when it’s a yes weather I take the test or not. However I would spend my $$$ on yours. 🙂

  24. Isn’t it soo true how the power of one small word can affect us so greatly? I love your alternative test sayings!

  25. I don’t test in general. I like to think of my period as nature’s pregnancy test. Oh, yes… there it is AGAIN.

    I’ve been trying not to think of my periods as “No’s.” More like “Not Yet’s.” I’ll let you know how that goes. 😉

    1. I don’t typically like to test either and I usually don’t but since my cycles can run up into the 70s range, I sometimes have to test just to make sure the extra cups of coffee during the day are not hurting any possible embryos 🙂 You are so right though that they are “not yets” 🙂 I hope you have a great week!

  26. Aw! I really like your idea for a pregnancy test that says something other than “No”. I actually avoided testing for most of the time we were TTC, and for a good 3 weeks into our pregnancy, because I just couldn’t handle the universe saying No, again.

  27. “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.” Psalm 27:13

    1. Thanks girlie! I wish I could have someone use my idea too because then I could make some extra moohlah. hehe!

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  30. I had to come back to this post to share with you….My husband & I were going to Vegas to celebrate our anniversary so I wanted to take a pregnancy test before we left (even though I already took 3 others this month) just to be sure I wasn’t pregnant before indulging in grown up beverages. I took the test out of the package and before I anything else, I see it says negative. I couldn’t do anything but laugh. I thought of this post immediately, thinking God has a good sense of humor and instead of crying, yelling, taking the test back to the store, or writing a letter to the company, I just tossed it in the trash and laughed. God wanted me to relax and enjoy my trip.

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