Josiah Day, Waiting for Baby Bird

Today is Different

Elisha

I know what today is; it’s Josiah Day. But, this morning, I have traded in my party hat and noisemaker to sit next to my Grandma’s hospital bedside so that I can stroke her hand, remind her of all the good times we’ve had together, and tell her how much I love her.

She barely stands five feet tall and only weighs 100 lbs soaking wet. She is 94 years old but is spunky, full of life, stubborn as a mule, and will argue with you for hours on why men should never wear their hats in buildings and girls should keep their shorts to the knee caps. She hates the countryside and doesn’t like to eat breakfast or BBQ sandwiches but will tear up the Chinese Buffet and drool over an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen.

She wouldn’t ever hurt a fly…literally. It was a known rule that if there was a fly or bug of any kind in the house, you were instructed to make every effort possible to save its life and release it to the great outdoors. I can’t tell you how many hours I reluctantly spent chasing flies and catching bugs to set them free. However, if you came across a snake, there was no mercy. You MUST chop off its head and ensure its death by cutting it into a million pieces before setting it on fire and burying it three miles down the road before covering the hole with cement. She hated snakes.

Most people often tell me that I am just like her. I can’t stand being surprised…neither does she. I love entertaining others and throwing parties…so does she. We are extremely bossy and blunt, and I’m sure both of our pictures would be next to the word ‘control’ in the dictionary as we both need it, crave it, and demand it. Nosy would also be a word our pictures would be next to in the good ol’ Webster Dictionary. She has taught me how to become a professional at ‘checking’ the rain gauge, ‘sweeping’ the sidewalk, and opening the blinds at just the right angle to monitor the ‘neighbor’s’ and ‘neighborhood.’ She told me that some might call it being nosy. Still, she would call it protecting and serving our community. My love for furry animals also came from this sweet lady, and together it is our life mission to ensure every stray dog or cat in the neighborhood is well fed. It doesn’t matter if the leftover fried chicken, hamburger, or pasta salad also attracts the raccoons, possums, and armadillos because our motto is, “The more, the merrier.”

Every Friday we have a lunch date together. I pick up my husband from work, and we swing by Dairy Queen before heading over to her house, where for over an hour, we listen to her tell stories of her younger days and laugh at her one-liner jokes. It’s my favorite time of the week, and I think hers too because she always begs us not to leave so soon.

me and mammaBut last week we missed our lunch date. It was 12:45 am on Friday, just four short hours after we celebrated her 94th birthday, when I received the phone call that started the chain of events leading up to me now giving her water with a sponge and doing everything in my power to ensure she is comfortable. As I sit here today watching her try to get comfortable, I wonder if we’ll ever have another opportunity to “peek” over at the neighbor’s yard or enjoy another Friday lunch date together. My odds aren’t looking good.

With today being Josiah Day, and as I reflect on my circumstances, my heart can’t help but break as I think she might never hear me say the words, “I am pregnant!” We haven’t talked a lot about my fertility issues together, but she has always reassured me that God’s timing is perfect, and He never forgets our prayers. She reminds me often that my mother is living proof, and for that reason alone, I should never give up hope.

Mothers Day 2011You see, my Mamma became pregnant with my Uncle Ronnie in her early 20s but struggled for several years to have another. She tried all the fertility treatments they offered in that time period without success and eventually gave up. It wasn’t until her early 40s, 20 years after her first child, that she surprisingly became pregnant with my beautiful mother.

My Uncle Ronnie has already passed away, and my mom’s young age has been a blessing as she has been able to help assist my Grandma over the years. It was just a month ago that she told me my Mom was her “angel,” and God knew exactly what He was doing when He gave her a child at such a late age in life. She said that she couldn’t understand God’s timing then, but she sees how perfect His timing was now.

So as you can see, Josiah Day is a little different for me this month. I’m still celebrating, but I’m not only going to celebrate the promise of a new life but the life of my Mamma and what I have learned through her. I also celebrate in the truth that God never breaks His promises, He never forgets our prayers, and when we think all hope is lost, He shows up and breaks through our darkness. I don’t know when the day will come in which I can actually celebrate Josiah Day while bouncing him on my knee, but my Grandma has proven that God’s timing is perfect; He is never early and never late. It takes a little patience and a lot of faith, but it’s always worth the wait.

Happy Josiah Day!

mamma

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80 thoughts on “Today is Different”

    1. Thank you, thank you, thank you!. We just celebrated her 94th birthday party on Thursday evening and four short hours later my world was turned upside down.

  2. Tears, friend. I’m sorry to hear this.
    But how wise? He is never early and never late. And He never forgets our promises.

    Gotta love it. I will definitely be praying for you and her today! I love you!

  3. Sending loads of hugs, strength and prayers. Please know that I am with you and your family. God will watch over her

    1. Thanks girl! It’s been a rough few days for me. On top of everything else, I think Goldilocks will go home in the next few days as well. Can you say emotional wreck?

  5. Praying for you! My hope is that the God of all peace will give you and her peace and comfort in this time!

  6. I pray that your grandma will continue to have the peace and comfort that comes from God. My own grandmothers are about the same age as yours. And I think about their lives a lot…. how I would handle it when their time comes. I just attended my friend’s mother’s memorial service yesterday. A beautiful celebration of a life lost too soon (she was 70). It made me think a lot about my parents and grandmothers and how we should treat them and spend time with them while they’re still around. I love how you have been spending such precious time with your grandmother. Thinking of you, girl.

  9. This makes me want to cry. I understand all too well what it means to lose a grandmother who is your best friend, who you laugh with and enjoy every moment you have with another and wish it could never end. My grandmother was a lot like your Mamma. She was also a very small little lady but had the biggest heart of anyone I knew and the strongest will. I lost her when I was pregnant with my son, so she never got to meet him. It was so hard to say good bye to the woman who was my EVERYTHING. She was my sister, my mother, my best friend, my mentor, my confidant all rolled into one five foot little lady. So I can really relate to how you must be feeling in these moments and my heart breaks for you. I hurt for you. I am praying for you and this sweet lady and your family and asking for God’s grace and God’s mercy, but most of all God’s peace. Lots of love to you, dear friend. XO

  12. Love hearing more about what a sweet lady she is and what a wonderful relationship you two have! I love that you eat lunch with her every Friday! Praying for her and your time with her as welll xoxo

  13. Oh, Elisha! I cried as I read your words. God bless you, as you walk this lonely, sad path!! Having walked through it already with grandparents and both of my parents, I know how you feel. She sounds like a wonderful, precious lady, who has been a big influence on the shaping and molding of your life. No wonder you are so sweet! The lessons she has taught will always remain with you and help to guide your future. What a treasure that you can see how God’s timing in her fertility was so perfect! It will be perfect for you, too, dear friend. Praying extra hard for you today.

  14. My heart is aching for you hon. Your Mammy sounds like a remarkable lady. I’m saying so many prayers for her and for you. Big, big hug.

  15. Thinking of you so much xxx You have a really wonderful family there, beautiful pics. I will say a prayer for you all xxx

  18. Praying for you, love. And your sweet mamma. Let me know if you need ANYTHING (I’ll do my best to see it gets done).

    1. Please just keep praying. She hasn’t passed yet, but I’m already a wreck. I just want one more friday lunch…

  19. Said a prayer for your Mamma after reading this. She sounds like an amazing woman. Thanks for sharing a little bit of her with us today. Hugs.

  20. Beautifully written! I too have a grandma (Gram) who is very special to me. Thanks for sharing and prayers coming your way!

  22. Oh Elisha… I know so well what it feels like to lose a dearly loved grandma. I lost mine last year and I’ve never stopped missing her. Yet I constantly feel her presence gently guiding me from heaven. I’m praying for peace for your mamma. Big hugs, my friend.

    1. Oh I am so sorry for you loss as well. Did you have the “should have” “could have” “would have” conversations with yourself when she passed? If so, how did you get passed those? I have so many regrets of not seeing her more and I only lived a mile from her house, etc.

      1. My granny lived in India with my parents. I couldn’t even make it for her last rites. We knew her end was near she’d been suffering so long but it hurt big not to be there to say goodbye. I can only thank god that I saw her when I went to India last year a few months before she passed away. I totally understand how you feel even though she didn’t recognize me that time. It was so hard I felt I’d let her down by not calling her enough or going there enough I was so caught up in my IF struggles. I spent many many days just reminding myself that she’s in a better place she was in so much pain.

      2. Thank you for telling me your story. I’m trying not to think of all my regrets but just remember the good times we had and all of the lunch dates we had together. My first Friday without being able to eat lunch at her house will be one of my toughest…

  23. Oh Elisha, my heart hurts for you. I loved reading about your Mamma and I love the special, close relationship that you both share. I love her face in all of your pictures- she is so sweet and beautiful (Like you) Praying for you extra as you face this hard time.

    1. Thank you so much. I always told my mom I would be a wreck when she passed away…she hasn’t passed yet, but I’m already a wreck.

  24. You guys all have the same smile 🙂 what special memories you have with your grandma. Those are what will keep you company for years to come. Praying that she is comfortable and in peace!

    1. Thank you so much! It’s so hard because she went from fixing her hamburger Thursday night at dinner to not even being able to talk or open her eyes by Saturday. I miss the old her

  26. How precious that you have such a close relationship and connection with your grandmother! Such a blessing, and such a long life. Praying for her comfort and peace in these difficult days; I hope your family is comforted by the sweet memories of healthier, happier days with her.

  27. Your Mamma sounds like a wonderful woman and a wonderful grandmother. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family <3

      1. I went through something similar with my grandmother two years ago. She was 89 and lived a similar life to yours. We stayed in the hospital singing her church songs the night she went to the Lord. She left this world with us all there around her bed singing to her. She was an amazing lady and I still miss her so much. My heart breaks for you tonight. I know how you are feeling. Sending such big hugs.

      2. Thank you! I had been singing to her Saturday, Sunday and Monday but couldn’t do much today. I had to bring Goldilocks with me since the hubs had to go out of town for the day/night but hopefully tomorrow i will be able to sing some more to her. I hope.

  31. ((HUGS)) and prayers. There is something extremely special about the grandma and granddaughter relationship. She sounds like a wonderful little lady!

  33. How sweet is your grandmother! I love her faith! Thank you for this post and the hope it gives! I needed this today! Praying for you and your grandma!

  34. Thank you for sharing your story. I have a 96 soon to be 97 year old grandfather who is likely to pass away soon. And as I am far away from home the chances are high that he will pass before I get to see him again. Although this makes me want to cry every time I think about it, I am sad for me but can’t help but be happy for him. Because he is going to a better place, free from all the pain. He has lived a good life and will wait for us on the other side. And he will get to reunite with the love of his life who he was married to for over 60 years. I wanted to share this article with you. Hope it helps and I wish you and your family the best in the days and weeks to come.
    http://www.reallifeanswers.org/purpose-of-life/is-death-part-of-the-plan/

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