A Toilet Paper Examiner, Noun
Definition: The act of (excessively) examining the toilet paper every time you go the bathroom for signs of ovulation and/or your period.
Infertility has turned you into a ‘Toilet Paper Examiner.’ Before you were trying to conceive, you would go to the bathroom and toss away the toilet paper without even a second glance. Now, you inspect every corner of that toilet paper, searching for signs of your period and/or ovulation. You examine the toilet paper while asking yourself questions like, ‘is this really my period or just spotting?’
Unfortunately, if you don’t lock the bathroom door, your husband might walk into the room as you are wiping and inspecting. Don’t bother to explain. He won’t understand. On one occasion, you thought you saw blood on the toilet paper a week before your period was expected arrive. You got extremely excited, believing that it might be implantation bleeding and then realized that it was, sadly, just blood from shaving your legs. It’s official, infertility has made you weird. Fertility Tip: Purchase toilet paper in bulk.
I hope you have a great week and don’t forget to find time to laugh and enjoy the journey while you are on the path to reaching your destination.
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