When you are struggling to conceive for months or even years, hearing the good news of someone else getting pregnant can be difficult to swallow. You put on a fake smile and tell them “Congratulations”, but it stings. Their amazing news, the news you wish was yours can cause bitterness. It can cause fear. It can cause you to stomp around the house screaming, “Why her and not me?!” It can destruct relationships by creating a wedge between you and the other person. But what if God asked you to rejoice with those who had children? Would you be able to do it?
Andrew Yeo and his wife struggled with infertility for nearly four years and even as a Christian, it was hard for Andrew to rejoice for others; but one day, God asked him a simple question…“Will you rejoice with those who have children.”
I encourage you to either watch the YouTube video or read his testimony below to see how making the choice to rejoice with others who had children changed his heart and his life.
Both my wife and I love kids. She serves in Sunday School while I just love to pinch the cheeks of fat babies. When we were dating, I told her that I want to have six children. We got married October 1, 2012 and started trying for a baby in the first year, but nothing happened.
In the second year, it was still the same, nothing happened and in the third year, I thought both of us should go for a medical checkup. We went and were referred to five different specialists. Our tests were not good, in fact, they were very bad. We were told that the chances of us having a child were getting smaller and smaller. It went from 3 percent to 2 percent and then down to 1 percent.
My world came crashing down when my doctor told me that it was impossible for me to have my own children. He even suggested that my wife and I should consider adoption. I was devastated and went into depression. I did not want to tell my wife about the bad news. How could I tell her we can’t have our own children?
Every month when my wife found out that she was not expecting, we would be in tears and very discouraged. Every Father’s Day and Mother’s Day, I would drag myself to church, put on a fake smile in front of everyone and when the Pastor’s asked the fathers to stand for prayer, I would be asking God, “When will it my turn? Would I ever be a dad”
On the fourth year of our marriage, God asked me a question. He asked, “would you rejoice with those who have children?” I said to Him that it is very hard, but being a good Christian, I would try. God would begin to place tests in my life and every time I logged on to my Facebook, there would be people announcing they were expecting a baby. Some would even post pictures of their ultrasound scans and others would post the photos of their beautiful babies. To some, they may look cute and nice, but to me, it was torture to look at them.
Also, when I went to different churches to minister, couples would come to me after the service and ask that I pray with them because they were trying for a child. I would say to them, “Oh, I am trying for one too!” So, I would pray with them and a month or so later, I would receive a phone call saying, “Pastor, we are expecting!” and I would wonder, “Okay…Thanks…Did I just pray my baby away?”
It was so tough to rejoice with them.
But my heart started to change when I prayed and asked Jesus to help me change my attitude. I decided to make a choice and I started to rejoice with everyone who had children. And guess what?! I even “liked” every single Facebook status that mentioned babies. Even those I did not know, I still pressed “Like”. My heart was transformed and I’ve learned to rejoice with others.
My friends, God is a good Father who loves to give His children good gifts. In December 2012, my wife and I found out that we were expecting! The feeling was incredible! We were so happy and when we went for our first scan, we heard not just one heartbeat, but two! As a worship leader, the sound of two heartbeats was the most beautiful rhythm I had ever heard in my life! When the doctor says that it is impossible for me to have children, Jesus says“…But with God all things are possible!” ~Matthew 19:26
God blessed me and my wife with a pair of beautiful twins. A boy and a girl! When God gives, He gives in abundance!