Does She Stay or Go Home?

This past Tuesday at 1pm, a judge made the decision as to whether Goldilocks, the three-year old cutie patootie we have been fostering should return home to her family or continue to grace us with her presence a little while longer. Days before, while sitting alone and thinking about the upcoming court date, I asked…

She’s Not Mine

“She’s not mine.” That is my immediate thought and sometimes my words whenever someone compliments her soft blond curls, beautiful brown eyes, or adorable personality. I hate thinking it and I hate saying it, but I also hate smiling and pretending that any part of her belongs to me. My husband and I have been…

It’s Been One Long Week

It’s been one long week since I received the phone call that jolted me out of bed and had me driving like a maniac to my Grandma’s house. It’s been one long week since I watched the helicopter life flight her to the emergency room. It’s been one long week since I started staying up…

Today is Different

I know what today is…it’s Josiah Day. But, this morning I have traded in my party hat, noise maker, and baby back ribs in order to sit next to my Grandma’s hospital bedside so that I can stroke her hand, remind her of all the good times we have had together, and tell her how…

Laughing Your Way Through Infertility: Paging Doctor Google

  The internet is both a terrible and wonderful tool in regards to finding information about anything, including infertility. Like most people struggling to conceive, you probably spend most of your time behind the monitor asking Doctor Google about your possible pregnancy symptoms. You spend countless hours googling questions such as, ‘I have a fever…

Daddy Dan This and Daddy Dan That

Yesterday while sitting with Goldilocks, our foster princess, a friend of mine who was visiting, began having a conversation with her… “Goldilocks, what makes you happy?”  While smiling from ear to ear, I shifted in my seat, eagerly awaiting to hear her response. I must admit I was confident she would point to me and…

The (hope for) Glory Days

My cycle will never be ‘normal’. My family of two will still be a family of two even as I fill out my AARP card.  Things are only going to get worse. I can’t do this anymore.  Getting pregnant seems is impossible. Maybe my life would be better childless…? God seems to be pressing the…