The Journey

Infertility Chronicles: Shirt Packed and Big Girl Panties On

Elisha

 

One storage container, four new hair bows, fingernail polish, a sparkly Minnie Mouse purse and a 34 inch tall, non-stop talkin’ three-year-old, who was our foster daughter, filled my cart as I strolled out of the doors of Wal-Mart yesterday. As Chatty McKathy was talking away about what she was going to put inside of her new purse and when we would paint her toenails the blue hue she had picked out, I noticed him. He was standing next to the soda machines holding onto his cart while wearing a uniform with the name “Bob” stitched on the right hand side of his chest pocket.

As soon as we made eye contact, he began walking towards me asking if we could talk for a second. Immediately my chest became tight and before I could say something along the lines of “being in a hurry,” he asked me this question, “Are you with child?”

Pump the brakes! What did this mystery man whose shirt said, “Bob” just ask me? Having my full attention and looking at him with a blank stare, I managed to get the words, “no” out of my mouth before he proceeded to say that months ago he had read a blog post that someone else had shared on Facebook about my infertility journey. He went on to say that since that time, I have been on he and his wife heart and they are praying for my baby bird. (Que tears forming in my eyes).

“Bob” then went on to say that he knows a man and wife who attend my church and they too struggled for years to conceive. In fact, the doctors insisted she would never be able to have her own biological children, but by the grace of God and through His mercy, she overcame infertility naturally. Once I thought he was finished, I smiled and thanked him for sharing this encouraging word but before I could get two steps away from “Bob”, he said one more thing, “The Holy Spirit wants you to have that woman lay hands on your womb and pray for you.” 

I turned around and once again with another blank stare I asked for her name, but all he knew was the name of her husband. I got as much information about the couple as I could and even made the comment that I would seek her out first thing on Sunday morning. However as we parted our ways, I began thinking of several reasons as to why I couldn’t have this woman pray for me and I must admit, they were all good and logical.

1. I don’t even know her name.

2. I don’t even have a good description of the woman.

3. My church has three services, I attend the second one…how am I suppose to find her?

4. She doesn’t know my story.

5. What if she is shy? Not everyone is comfortable praying out loud and I don’t want to upset her.

6. What if “Bob” got it all wrong? Can you say awkward?  

While snapping the last buckle on foster daughter’s car seat, my heart began racing at just the thought of me walking up to this woman and asking her to pray for me. I thought about how silly I would look, white as a ghost, hands shaking, and nearly fainting as my legs would feel like wet noodles. I thought about how God would COMPLETELY understand, so I quietly whispered to Him that I couldn’t do it. It was just “too much”, “too awkward” and far “too silly”.

However as soon as I spoke those words, I heard God respond with the same question “Bob” had just asked me minutes earlier…“Can I talk to you for a second?” YIKES!  Again I felt my chest begin to tighten and like before, I couldn’t manage to spit out an excuse before God began talking…

God: It’s too silly? Wasn’t it you that drank nasty Okra water for several months because Dr. Google suggested it would help regulate your cycles? This is too awkward? Wasn’t it awkward each time you visited the doctor and had a vaginal ultrasound to check the size of the eggs on your ovaries or discussed with friends, relatives and even complete strangers as to why you couldn’t attend or help out at an event because you were going through fertility treatments? Don’t you find it a bit silly that despite feeling sick from the 11 different types of vitamins Dr. Google suggested to take for “this or that” you continued to swallow each and every one. Not to mention how silly it was for you to continue despite the fact none of them made a difference. Don’t you feel a bit silly and awkward each time you kick your legs up in the air after scheduled “whoopie” because once again Dr. Google suggested it? Too much? Wasn’t it you that injected yourself with five different medicines daily in order to get pregnant because a doctor told you it was your only chance for having biological children? You have tried some silly and awkward methods that were “too much” because the world suggested them in order to get pregnant and yet here you stand, refusing to take my advice by asking this woman to pray for you…?

Me: Uhhh….ummm….Uhhh…

God: I also would like to mention that just last week you briefly contemplated having a colonoscopy when you found out a friend of yours got pregnant with twins two days after having one completed. Don’t you think that procedure is an awkward one? Don’t you think that idea is far too silly and a bit much?

Me: (cough, cough…head slowly lowering) Uh…you got me with that one. 

God: Just put on your big girl panties and do it. You won’t regret it. 

Me: Okay…I’ll find her on Sunday. But can you give her a “heads up” for me? Let her know someone will be looking for her?  Maybe even tell her I will be the one nervous as a cat, white as a ghost, and walking as if my legs were wet noodles?  You can go ahead and mention to her I will be carrying around an extra shirt as well. 

God: Why the extra shirt?

Me: I sweat when I get nervous…don’t act puzzled. 

So after my conversation with a man named “Bob” and a confrontational talk with God, I am going to church this Sunday with my big girl panties on and an extra shirt in my purse…here’s to finding the mystery woman…

 

I would love to connect with you on a personal level, so if you liked this post, pass it on. Then click here to find Waiting for Baby Bird on the public Facebook page or join me on Instagram @waitingforbabybird. I can’t wait to “meet” you!If you are looking for a faith-based infertility community of other women who just “get it”, then head over to the *PRIVATE* Waiting for Baby Bird Support group for hope + encouragement. There you will find opportunities to ask for prayer, watch *LIVE* encouragement videos from me, author of “Waiting for Baby Bird”, as well as be able to share your heart with others on the same path, enter into exclusive giveaways, and so much more! So what are you waiting for? Find us here!

 

81 thoughts on “Infertility Chronicles: Shirt Packed and Big Girl Panties On”

    1. I’m so nervous! hehe! It’s a shame we don’t go to the same church. I would drag you with me to find her like you do when a woman needs to go to the bathroom….never alone. lol!

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    1. I know right?! God continually blows me away. You should have seen my face when he asked to talk to me and then asked if I was with child…i think my eyes popped out of my skull!

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    1. I am so nervous! This is probably the most bold thing I have done on this journey…just randomly walking up to someone and saying…”Hey! I’m considered infertile…will you pray for me since you were too…?” oh. my. word.

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      2. Well, I couldn’t find her but I did learn her name and a friend of mine that also goes to my church knows of her so she can now point me in the right direction next Sunday.

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      3. Oh, well that’s good. This will happen as it’s meant to. I know it all seems so strange, but it’s also amazing!

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  11. This is incredible!!! I’m praying you won’t be too sweaty and that God sends that woman and you KNOW it is her! This is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever heard!

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  12. This story is awesome! So cool that Gid sent a complete stranger to give you this message–and now you’re off to find a stranger too. I hope you find her on Sunday! So exciting!

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    2. Thanks Ria!! It is exciting and nerve wracking all at the same time. EEKERS!!! Hopefully she doesn’t look at me like I looked at “Bob” on Friday….all bug eyed!

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  15. Wow, Elisha!! This is amazing! I just know God has already orchestrated this whole thing…just like Peter and Cornelius. They both had no idea about the other, but they both needed something that the other could provide. I have a feeling, this is going to be a two-way street and mutually beneficial to both of you. I believe this is definitely to help you, but I also believe in my heart, that YOU are going to bless this woman, too. I know it must feel like searching for a needle in a haystack, but God sees the “needle”, knows when she will be at church tomorrow, and He is going to make the connection. All you have to do is walk by faith and follow His lead. I can’t wait to hear about the creative way God does this!!!! Praying for you every day, sweet friend.

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    1. Thank you Cheryl! You always know what it is I need to hear. I received a message tonight from a friend and she gave me her name and that she is hosting at one of the doors on Sunday. I am VERY involved in our church and I am sure that I will recognize her as soon as I see her…I’m just awful with names. YIKES! I’m nervous tho!

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    1. Thank you so much…it probably won’t be until Tuesday tho…going to spend some time getting my house in order from our move last weekend. I need pictures on the wall. LOL!

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  20. This gave me some goose bumps! The good ones! THIS IS AMAZING. I mean, amazing. God is so awesome and His love is amazing. The fact that He would set this up for you is such an awesome display of how much He cares for you and continues to affirm you…it’s just really powerful. I can’t wait to hear what will happen next. My mom struggled with infertility for SEVEN years and was prayed for at a special service and became pregnant. Who can know the mind of God? Love ya!!!

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  25. Don’t be nervous Elisha! Just think about all the people you pray for, without knowing them. You help and chat with so many people, that you havent met. We all love you. Now its time for someone else to help you, pray for you. I know a 100% that once she meets you, she will see what a great, kind and loving person you are and be so glad to have met you. Just like we all are

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    1. Oh wow Jess! You brought tears to my eyes with your kind comments! Unfortunately I couldn’t find her today but I did find out her name and I have a much better description of her. I also found a friend that knows who she is 🙂 yay!!

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    1. Thanks Lisa! I couldn’t find her today but I did find out her name and I also found a friend of mine at church that knows who she is 🙂 whoo hoo!

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    1. I couldn’t find her :/ But I did catch her name and a friend of mine knows what she looks like so hopefully I am a few steps closer to locating the “mystery” woman 🙂

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  28. I just love reading your blog! God seriously shows Himself to you in big ways! And isn’t that just like us to willingly do just about anything to get pregnant but get a little “gun shy” when God tells us to do something!!!! I look forward to hearing how it went at church this morning. I’m sure that woman was humbled by your request for prayer!

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