Waiting for Baby Bird

Infertility Chronicles Part 1: Shirt Packed and Big Girl Panties On

One storage container, four new hair bows, fingernail polish, a sparkly Minnie Mouse purse, and a 34 inch tall, non-stop talkin’ three-year-old, who was our foster daughter, filled my cart as I strolled out of the doors of Wal-Mart yesterday. As Chatty McKathy was talking away about what she was going to put inside of her new purse and when we would paint her toenails the blue hue she had picked out, I noticed him. He was standing next to the soda machines holding onto his cart while wearing a uniform with the name “Bob” stitched on the right-hand side of his chest pocket.

As soon as we made eye contact, he began walking towards me, asking if we could talk. Immediately my chest became tight, and before I could say something along the lines of “being in a hurry,” he asked me this question, “Are you with child?”

Pump the brakes! What did this mystery man whose shirt said, “Bob,” ask me? Having my full attention and looking at him with a blank stare, I managed to get the words “no” out of my mouth before he proceeded to say that months ago, he had read a blog post that someone else had shared on Facebook about my infertility journey. He went on to say that since that time, I have been on him and his wife’s heart, and they are praying for my baby bird. (Que tears forming in my eyes).

“Bob” then went on to say that he knows a man and wife who attend my church, and they too struggled for years to conceive. In fact, the doctors insisted she would never be able to have her own biological children, but by the grace of God and through His mercy, she overcame infertility naturally. Once I thought he was finished, I smiled and thanked him for sharing this encouraging word, but before I could get two steps away from “Bob,” he said one more thing, “The Holy Spirit wants you to have that woman lay hands on your womb and pray for you.” 

I turned around, and once again, with another blank stare, I asked for her name, but all he knew was the name of her husband. I got as much information about the couple as I could and even commented that I would seek her out first thing on Sunday morning. However, as we parted our ways, I began thinking of several reasons as to why I couldn’t have this woman pray for me, and I must admit, they were all good and logical.

1. I don’t even know her name.

2. I don’t even have a good description of the woman.

3. My church has three services, I attend second…how am I suppose to find her?

4. She doesn’t know my story.

5. What if she is shy? Not everyone is comfortable praying,, and I don’t want to upset her.

6. What if “Bob” got it all wrong? Can you say awkward?  

While snapping the last buckle on my foster daughter’s car seat, my heart began racing at just the thought of me walking up to this woman and asking her to pray for me. I thought about how silly I would look, white as a ghost, hands shaking, and nearly fainting as my legs would feel like wet noodles. I thought about how God would COMPLETELY understand, so I quietly whispered to Him that I couldn’t do it. It was just “too much,” “too awkward,” and far “too silly.”

However, as soon as I spoke those words, I heard God respond with the same question “Bob” had just asked me minutes earlier…“Can I talk to you for a second?” YIKES!  Again I felt my chest begin to tighten, and like before; I couldn’t manage to spit out an excuse before God began talking…

God: It’s too silly? Wasn’t it you that drank nasty Okra water for several months because Dr. Google suggested it would help regulate your cycles? Is it too awkward? Wasn’t it awkward each time you visited the doctor and had a vaginal ultrasound to check the size of the eggs on your ovaries or discussed with friends, relatives, and even strangers as to why you couldn’t attend or help out at an event because you were going through fertility treatments? Don’t you find it a bit silly that despite feeling sick from the 11 different types of vitamins Dr. Google suggested to take for “this or that,” you continued to swallow every one? Not to mention how silly it was for you to continue despite none of them made a difference. Don’t you feel a bit silly and awkward each time you kick your legs up in the air after scheduled “whoopie” because Dr. Google suggested it? Too much? Wasn’t it you who injected yourself with five different medicines daily to get pregnant because a doctor told you it was your only chance to have biological children? You have tried some silly and awkward methods that were “too much” because the world suggested them to get pregnant, and yet here you stand, refusing to take my advice by asking this woman to pray for you…?

Me: Uhhh…Ummm…Uhhh…

God: I also would like to mention that just last week, you briefly contemplated having a colonoscopy when you found out a friend of yours got pregnant with twins two days after having one completed. Don’t you think that procedure is an awkward one? Don’t you think that idea is far too silly and a bit much?

Me: (cough, cough…head slowly lowering) Uh…you got me with that one. 

God: Just put on your big girl panties and do it. You won’t regret it. 

Me: Okay…I’ll find her on Sunday. But can you give her a “heads up” for me? Let her know someone will be looking for her?  Maybe even tell her I will be the one nervous as a cat, white as a ghost, and walking as if my legs were wet noodles?  You can go ahead and mention to her I will be carrying around an extra shirt as well. 

God: Why the extra shirt?

Me: I sweat when I get nervous…don’t act puzzled. 

So, needless to say, after my conversation with a man named “Bob” and a confrontational talk with God, I am going to church this Sunday with my big girl panties on and an extra shirt in my purse…here’s to finding the mystery woman…


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82 thoughts on “Infertility Chronicles Part 1: Shirt Packed and Big Girl Panties On”

  1. What an incredible story, love this! I’ll be thinking of your tomorrow and sending strength and prayers and of course big girl pantie power 😉

  2. Already looking forward to Subday/Monday’s post! Praying the Holy Spirit brings you two together this weekend.

  3. Wow…exciting…..follow your heart and He will lead you in the right direction….can’t wait to read the update after church on Sunday….prayers always sent your way girl! xoxo

    1. I’m so nervous! hehe! It’s a shame we don’t go to the same church. I would drag you with me to find her like you do when a woman needs to go to the bathroom….never alone. lol!

    1. I know right?! God continually blows me away. You should have seen my face when he asked to talk to me and then asked if I was with child…i think my eyes popped out of my skull!

    1. I am so nervous! This is probably the most bold thing I have done on this journey…just randomly walking up to someone and saying…”Hey! I’m considered infertile…will you pray for me since you were too…?” oh. my. word.

      1. Well, I couldn’t find her but I did learn her name and a friend of mine that also goes to my church knows of her so she can now point me in the right direction next Sunday.

      2. Oh, well that’s good. This will happen as it’s meant to. I know it all seems so strange, but it’s also amazing!

  4. This is incredible!!! I’m praying you won’t be too sweaty and that God sends that woman and you KNOW it is her! This is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever heard!

    1. Oh thank you for your prayers! I’m praying God is preparing her heart RIGHT now for me. YIKES

  5. This story is awesome! So cool that Gid sent a complete stranger to give you this message–and now you’re off to find a stranger too. I hope you find her on Sunday! So exciting!

    1. Thanks Ria!! It is exciting and nerve wracking all at the same time. EEKERS!!! Hopefully she doesn’t look at me like I looked at “Bob” on Friday….all bug eyed!

  6. Oh I’ve got the chills! Praise God for speaking to you through his people! I have so much hope for your baby bird!

  7. Wow, Elisha!! This is amazing! I just know God has already orchestrated this whole thing…just like Peter and Cornelius. They both had no idea about the other, but they both needed something that the other could provide. I have a feeling, this is going to be a two-way street and mutually beneficial to both of you. I believe this is definitely to help you, but I also believe in my heart, that YOU are going to bless this woman, too. I know it must feel like searching for a needle in a haystack, but God sees the “needle”, knows when she will be at church tomorrow, and He is going to make the connection. All you have to do is walk by faith and follow His lead. I can’t wait to hear about the creative way God does this!!!! Praying for you every day, sweet friend.

    1. Thank you Cheryl! You always know what it is I need to hear. I received a message tonight from a friend and she gave me her name and that she is hosting at one of the doors on Sunday. I am VERY involved in our church and I am sure that I will recognize her as soon as I see her…I’m just awful with names. YIKES! I’m nervous tho!

  8. So excited to hear about when you find her!! Will be praying you two can connect tomorrow!

  9. Woohoo! God is good. Looking forward to your Monday post.

    will be thinking of and praying for you tomorrow!

    1. Thank you so much…it probably won’t be until Tuesday tho…going to spend some time getting my house in order from our move last weekend. I need pictures on the wall. LOL!

  10. This gave me some goose bumps! The good ones! THIS IS AMAZING. I mean, amazing. God is so awesome and His love is amazing. The fact that He would set this up for you is such an awesome display of how much He cares for you and continues to affirm you…it’s just really powerful. I can’t wait to hear what will happen next. My mom struggled with infertility for SEVEN years and was prayed for at a special service and became pregnant. Who can know the mind of God? Love ya!!!

    1. oh wowzas! I love your mom’s testimony! I just love it!!! That gives ME goosebumps reading it!

  11. You always have the most incredible stories! I hope you do get to find her. If not this week another time. xx

  12. Don’t be nervous Elisha! Just think about all the people you pray for, without knowing them. You help and chat with so many people, that you havent met. We all love you. Now its time for someone else to help you, pray for you. I know a 100% that once she meets you, she will see what a great, kind and loving person you are and be so glad to have met you. Just like we all are

    1. Oh wow Jess! You brought tears to my eyes with your kind comments! Unfortunately I couldn’t find her today but I did find out her name and I have a much better description of her. I also found a friend that knows who she is 🙂 yay!!

    1. Thanks Lisa! I couldn’t find her today but I did find out her name and I also found a friend of mine at church that knows who she is 🙂 whoo hoo!

  13. Wow! What a sweet man (although I would be very caught off guard too)! Looking forward to seeing how your day went today.

    1. I couldn’t find her :/ But I did catch her name and a friend of mine knows what she looks like so hopefully I am a few steps closer to locating the “mystery” woman 🙂

  14. I just love reading your blog! God seriously shows Himself to you in big ways! And isn’t that just like us to willingly do just about anything to get pregnant but get a little “gun shy” when God tells us to do something!!!! I look forward to hearing how it went at church this morning. I’m sure that woman was humbled by your request for prayer!

    1. I couldn’t locate her today :/ BUT I did get a name and a detailed description so hopefully next Sunday the mystery woman will be revealed 🙂

  15. I hope everything went perfectly! This is such a powerful story…I am so amazed at the connection you have with God and with your faith. I am so excited for you!!!

  16. Wow! What a story! I’m looking forward to hearing what happened at church yesterday!

  17. I Haven’t visited for awhile due to broken computer :/ But I Love, love love this. Jess is so right! You touch my heart with every post and we all just love you!! Xxx

  18. As you know, I’m trying to catch-up on your blog entries from starting back when… Therefore, I just read this one and don’t know what happens, yet. I’m very excited to read more. *Hugs*

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