One storage container, four new hair bows, fingernail polish, a sparkly Minnie Mouse purse and a 34 inch tall, non-stop talkin’ three-year-old, who was our foster daughter, filled my cart as I strolled out of the doors of Wal-Mart yesterday. As Chatty McKathy was talking away about what she was going to put inside of her new purse and when we would paint her toenails the blue hue she had picked out, I noticed him. He was standing next to the soda machines holding onto his cart while wearing a uniform with the name “Bob” stitched on the right hand side of his chest pocket.
As soon as we made eye contact, he began walking towards me asking if we could talk for a second. Immediately my chest became tight and before I could say something along the lines of “being in a hurry,” he asked me this question, “Are you with child?”
Pump the brakes! What did this mystery man whose shirt said, “Bob” just ask me? Having my full attention and looking at him with a blank stare, I managed to get the words, “no” out of my mouth before he proceeded to say that months ago he had read a blog post that someone else had shared on Facebook about my infertility journey. He went on to say that since that time, I have been on he and his wife heart and they are praying for my baby bird. (Que tears forming in my eyes).
“Bob” then went on to say that he knows a man and wife who attend my church and they too struggled for years to conceive. In fact, the doctors insisted she would never be able to have her own biological children, but by the grace of God and through His mercy, she overcame infertility naturally. Once I thought he was finished, I smiled and thanked him for sharing this encouraging word but before I could get two steps away from “Bob”, he said one more thing, “The Holy Spirit wants you to have that woman lay hands on your womb and pray for you.”
I turned around and once again with another blank stare I asked for her name, but all he knew was the name of her husband. I got as much information about the couple as I could and even made the comment that I would seek her out first thing on Sunday morning. However as we parted our ways, I began thinking of several reasons as to why I couldn’t have this woman pray for me and I must admit, they were all good and logical.
1. I don’t even know her name.
2. I don’t even have a good description of the woman.
3. My church has three services, I attend the second one…how am I suppose to find her?
4. She doesn’t know my story.
5. What if she is shy? Not everyone is comfortable praying out loud and I don’t want to upset her.
6. What if “Bob” got it all wrong? Can you say awkward?
While snapping the last buckle on foster daughter’s car seat, my heart began racing at just the thought of me walking up to this woman and asking her to pray for me. I thought about how silly I would look, white as a ghost, hands shaking, and nearly fainting as my legs would feel like wet noodles. I thought about how God would COMPLETELY understand, so I quietly whispered to Him that I couldn’t do it. It was just “too much”, “too awkward” and far “too silly”.
However as soon as I spoke those words, I heard God respond with the same question “Bob” had just asked me minutes earlier…“Can I talk to you for a second?” YIKES! Again I felt my chest begin to tighten and like before, I couldn’t manage to spit out an excuse before God began talking…
God: It’s too silly? Wasn’t it you that drank nasty Okra water for several months because Dr. Google suggested it would help regulate your cycles? This is too awkward? Wasn’t it awkward each time you visited the doctor and had a vaginal ultrasound to check the size of the eggs on your ovaries or discussed with friends, relatives and even complete strangers as to why you couldn’t attend or help out at an event because you were going through fertility treatments? Don’t you find it a bit silly that despite feeling sick from the 11 different types of vitamins Dr. Google suggested to take for “this or that” you continued to swallow each and every one. Not to mention how silly it was for you to continue despite the fact none of them made a difference. Don’t you feel a bit silly and awkward each time you kick your legs up in the air after scheduled “whoopie” because once again Dr. Google suggested it? Too much? Wasn’t it you that injected yourself with five different medicines daily in order to get pregnant because a doctor told you it was your only chance for having biological children? You have tried some silly and awkward methods that were “too much” because the world suggested them in order to get pregnant and yet here you stand, refusing to take my advice by asking this woman to pray for you…?
God: I also would like to mention that just last week you briefly contemplated having a colonoscopy when you found out a friend of yours got pregnant with twins two days after having one completed. Don’t you think that procedure is an awkward one? Don’t you think that idea is far too silly and a bit much?
Me: (cough, cough…head slowly lowering) Uh…you got me with that one.
God: Just put on your big girl panties and do it. You won’t regret it.
Me: Okay…I’ll find her on Sunday. But can you give her a “heads up” for me? Let her know someone will be looking for her? Maybe even tell her I will be the one nervous as a cat, white as a ghost, and walking as if my legs were wet noodles? You can go ahead and mention to her I will be carrying around an extra shirt as well.
God: Why the extra shirt?
Me: I sweat when I get nervous…don’t act puzzled.
So after my conversation with a man named “Bob” and a confrontational talk with God, I am going to church this Sunday with my big girl panties on and an extra shirt in my purse…here’s to finding the mystery woman…
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