Hi! My name is Elisha and I have a confession…I am a compulsive planner and the word “spontaneous” isn’t even in my vocabulary. For instance, please don’t call me at 8am wanting me to go shopping with you at 10am–I
won’t can’t do it despite you giving me a two-hour notice. It’s not in my plans and I am also ashamed to say that even if my agenda consisted of doing nothing, then nothing is what I am still going to do. I also might as well let you know I usually have my weekly calendar filled out in advance, therefore if you want to plan a lunch date, dinner date, or just kick rocks in the street, I am going to need to have at least a three-day notice…a month notice would be better, but I figured that was pushing it. hehe
With that being said, one of the most frustrating aspects of infertility is that I fall into the trap of thinking I can’t plan my life in advance….Where should we go on vacation? Well, it depends–will I be 8 months pregnant and waddling around or still have an empty womb and able to fit into a bikini? What vehicle should we buy now? Well, it depends–will we need room for a car seat, stroller and pack n play soon or just my purse and some leg room? Should my Hubby plan to attend the annual camping trip in March? Well, it depends–will I be ovulating that weekend? You get the picture. Either no planning is going on or all plans have to be marked in pencil and subject to change at a moments notice. YIKES! Neither option is good for my personality.
It’s crazy how for some, infertility has the ability to make you feel as if you have to stay stuck in “time”, “stuck” in one place and you can’t plan or live your life now. There are so many “what ifs” when trying to decided what to do, but putting your life on hold, and not enjoying the journey while you are on your way to reaching your destination of parenthood, will only add to the pain and heartache associated with not being pregnant. Trust me. I know.
So friends, don’t live your life in this “stuck” zone. Don’t let the fun stop because of your infertility and don’t let your plans always be centered around “making babies.” Buy the car you want to have now. Take that cruise you desperately want to go on with your friends even if it is going to ruin your fertility treatment schedule. Plan the sky diving, bungee, zip lining trip you have always wanted to take with your spouse. If you have to cancel, sell your car, or rework the family vacation because you are pregnant, then I think that is a first class problem to have. And besides, don’t you want to have fabulous stories to share with your future kiddos?