I can’t figure it out. I don’t understand. Why won’t God just give me a baby? Why won’t He just bada-bing-bada-boom make me pregnant? He could end this right now.
Have you ever had these thoughts? Maybe not about a baby, but something else you have been believing and contending for? Such as restoration in your marriage, a new job, or more financial freedom? If so, I get it. But let me show you something the Lord taught me in the first year of my intense struggle through infertility and not understanding the delay. And if you don’t mind, let me liken waiting and God to tomatoes and tomato seeds. I know it sounds silly, but hang with me, okay?
Here it goes:
I’m hangry (hungry+angry=hangry), and all I can think about is eating a big, fat, juicy BLT sandwich (with lots of mayonnaise). But the one problem is this: I need a tomato. So, I go ask my father for one and he hands me tomato seeds. Tomato seeds?! What am I going to do with tomato seeds?! His reply, “Plant them, and you will have your tomato. In fact, plant all of these seeds, and you will have lots of tomatoes.” But I want my sandwich now, and I need my tomato now–I don’t want to wait!
I believe that sometimes, this is how God is with our blessings. We come to Him with our requests, but we don’t always receive them in the time frame or manner that we would like to receive them. This causes us to be impatient, frustrated, angry, bitter, and doubtful. If we are not careful, all of these emotions can cause us to either give up on or let go of God altogether.
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,”Ephesians 3:20 (NIV)
Regarding my request for a baby, I have learned that God doesn’t just want to give me a baby. As in, that’s all He wants to give me. Instead, He wants me to have so much more. For example, He wants me to be healed, restored, walking in peace, strengthened in my faith, joyful in my hope, and trusting in His character so that I can start sharing “my blessings” with others.
I know that God could have given me a baby months ago, even years ago, and I could’ve had all that I wanted or thought that I wanted, but I wouldn’t have known Him. And that would have been my loss.
So, while I haven’t been given my “tomato,” He has given me seeds of peace in the wait, joy despite the circumstances, love for others who are hurting, courage to keep sharing my story, and wisdom to understand His will for my life. With these seeds in my heart, I am reaping a harvest more than what I ever asked or imagined.
If you are in a waiting season, I encourage you not to despise it. Let Jesus be the center of it all. The center of your agenda, the center of your time frame, and your wants. After all, He wants to do work in you and through you that goes far above just giving you a baby. He wants to show up and show out and give you abundantly and exceedingly far more than you can dream or imagine, which, friend, doesn’t include just a tomato but rather seeds of healing, peace, and restoration so that you can have tomatoes upon tomatoes….blessings upon blessings.
Sweet friend, will you surrender and let Him be the center of it all? Will you allow Him to do complete work in your life? I hope so. Because it’s worth it. Learning how to care for your body, His temple, in this season is worth it. Learning how to stand firm in your faith despite what you see is worth it. Learning to trust Him despite the time that has passed is worth it. Learning how to pray and commune with God rather than simply bringing Him your list of needs each day is worth it.
It’s worth it because He is worthy of it all.
Wait by: Russel Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried. Quietly, patiently, lovingly, He replied. I pleaded, and I wept for a clue to my fate, And the Master so gently said, “Child, you must wait.”
“Wait? You say wait?” my indignant reply. “Lord, I need answers; I need to know why. Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard? By faith, I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.
“My future, and all to which I can relate, hangs in the balance, and you tell me ‘wait’? I need a ‘yes,’ a go-ahead sign, Or even a ‘no,’ to which I can resign.
“And Lord, you have promised that if we believe, we need but to ask, and we shall receive. And Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry; I’m weary of asking: I need a reply!”
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate, As my Master replied once again, “You must wait.” So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut, And grumbled to God, “So I’m waiting for what?”
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine, and He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign. I could shake the heavens, darken the sun, Raise the dead, cause the mountains to run.
“All you see I could give, and pleased you would be. You would have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me. You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint; You’d not know the power that I give to the faint. “You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
“You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there. You’d not know the joy of resting in Me when darkness and silence were all you could see. You would never experience that fullness of love as the peace of My spirit descends like a dove. You would know that I give and I save for a start, but you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.”
“The glow of My comfort late in the night; The faith that I give when you walk without sight; The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
“And you never would know, should your pain quickly flee, what it means that ‘My grace is sufficient for thee.’ Yes, your dreams for that loved one o’ernight could come true, but the loss! If you lost what I’m doing in you.
“So be silent, my child, and in time, you will see that the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me. And though oft’ may My answers seem late, My most precious answer of all…is still…wait.”
My name is Elisha, and I am the founder of Waiting for Baby Bird Ministries, which first began as an infertility blog in 2013. I know the struggle of infertility and loss as me and my husband have been married for 17 years, and despite the last 12 of those years unsuccessfully being able to conceive due to PCOS. However, we continue to stay positive as we believe the Lord for a miracle. However, despite my womb remaining empty after my miscarriage in 2012, my arms have not. In 2017, my husband and I adopted a little girl, now 13, after spending 1,273 days in foster care. My mission is to share my story to inspire and breathe hope into other women facing similar circumstances.
I would love to connect with you personally, so if you liked this post, pass it on. Then go here to find Waiting for Baby Bird on the public Facebook page or join me on Instagram @waitingforbabybird. I can’t wait to “meet” you! If you are looking for a faith-based infertility community of other women who just “get it,” then head over to the *PRIVATE* Waiting for Baby Bird Support group for hope + encouragement. There, you will find opportunities to ask for prayer, share your heart with others on the same path, enter into exclusive giveaways, and so much more! So what are you waiting for? Find us here!
Over the past few days, I have been spending a little bit of time going over your older blog posts. I have read this one several times and even entered most of it into my faith journal. It is a good reminder that we need to wait and trust in God’s timing, even though we want our “tomato” NOW! As I enter my second IUI round, I am trying to get back to the hope and optimism that I had when I first came across your blog, hence why I am going back through the entries with a fine tooth comb 🙂 I am trying to change my frame of mind from “if we ever have a baby” to “when we have another baby”. I need to believe that it is going to happen instead of doubting it. I get so scared to be hopeful because of the let down, but I want to be hopeful and not doubtful. This is my long winded way of saying thank you for reminding me that God is working in me and to not despise this time of waiting, but to embrace it.